The other night I lamented the state of my apartment to a friend. You see, I have never been what you would call a “clean” or “orderly” person, but shit has hit the fan in Casa de Lexa lately. Work has been insane, I have been writing like a crazy person, I had that one week trip to the DR and I leave for California today. There are half packed suitcases all over the place and my fridge is in a sorry state. The other day I refused to leave my apartment so I called the local pizza place and just ordered a bunch of shit. I was one woman ordering a pizza, soup and two salads hoping it would get me through a couple days.
“When did I become a bachelor?”, I sighed.
“Well, you are a bachelor”, was her response. “Single, independent, living it up.”
Now, this comment was on the heels of a conversation with a male where he posited that he thought I could be the female Hugh Hefner. I have no interest in perusing this path as I cannot think of anything more unsatisfying than keeping a harem of young, flailing men at my beck and call. I mean, beck and call sounds good, but the flailing part not so much. No thank you.
Dude, when did I become a dude? Can’t I just be a freewheeling broad living life like I may die tomorrow? Why is it a compliment to give me male attributes but calling a guy womanly is the worst of all the worst insults?
Answer this for me. Or tell me to shut up. Or send me an application for my harem if you are over the age of 28, do dishes and hate hiking.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
omg, this is perfect! I’d totally be interested in someone who does dishes and doesn’t like to hike
Olga @ MangoTomato´s last blog ..How to make breakfast burritos at home
I’m smiling from ear to ear after reading this. “I’m… ok” it says.
not perfect like the statue of David or Venus in Florence, or the view at the top of leaning tower of Pisa.. day to day life is bore but you make it special in so many ways. I really love this post unconditionally, you described “ick” to the t honestly. Thoughts of good times ahead and hope to go California for family or group of friends off vacation. That’s enough of me on this day. 
Sorry to be 5 yrs above the mark.. stay optimistic about your goals and make it happen -AMPM
Andrei´s last blog ..Gives Bread
UH. GREED. Seriously, what is so wrong with *not* being all weak and ridiculous all the time? Do what you want, screw what other people thing.
Also, being in the DR and California are totally legitimate excuses for leaving your house a total wreck. I wish mine were that good.
Mary´s last blog ..I’ll Walk the Seven Seas
I am 28 and I am a TOTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL SLOB. Its really disgusting really. My papers, my clothes. Not so much the dishes (because I’m afraid of bugs and mold and things that are more obnoxious than having to get off the couch to do dishes). And its not only because I’m a busy, young lawyer and young professional bopping around DC hhs, concerts, parties, political stuff etc but also because i’m just a slob. Organization doesn’t come easy for me. So don’t feel bad. Problems have arised for me in just owning my awfulness bc my new boyfriend is a neat freak. I had an anxiety dream that he dumped me because I was gross and left a wet towel on his bed and apparently women who are dirty make bad mothers. Oh geez. So I guess I have to grow up and learn to be more orderly? *le sigh*. I’d rather catch up on blog reading and commenting or take a long nap. Or go out and get toasted. *even bigger le sigh*. solidarity….-T.
Toddy´s last blog ..Happy Birthday to Me! - Part One
Over 28, check
Do dishes, check
Hate hiking, check
Plus, like to cook, check
Where do I send in the application?
Now, I don’t think that you are necessarily a bachelor. You ordered food to get you through a couple of days out of convenience and as a result of a lack of free time. That’s doesn’t make you a bachelor as much as it makes you wise in time management.
TheDivorcedGuy´s last blog ..Just Some Random Thoughts
Ha. Great post, Lexa. We need to think of a term for us single ladies living large and independent, free-wheeling, fast-moving, fantastic.
Hannah´s last blog ..Sometimes- it is good to come back to basics
Having men at beck and call can be a good thing, like when stuff needs to get fixed around the apartment or your car needs an oil change.
age old questions. i think other people attach unnecessary judgment to these qualities :p i often think of myself as a bro, and how i feel about that changes depending on the situation. being a bro itself isn’t really pos or neg; it’s just a fact of my existence
michelle´s last blog ..just cant hide it