I am a grown woman with a sartorial point of view and very strong opinions about my personal presentation. We have established this.
As a result, I hate theme parties. I hate being told to wear a costume for whatever stupid reason people come up with. Halloween? After years of wearing the same costume, I finally just stayed in this year.
Look, I know people are just trying to have fun. I am sure mobsters had tons of fun, but I don’t need to go and a party dressed in a fedora to drink chianti in order to appreciate this. I appreciate this by watching Real Housewives of New Jersey. Pimps and hos? Sure. They exist. I don’t want to dress like one. Lucite is not my best look.
And this is where I know I look like a rigid asshole who doesn’t know how to have fun.
What can I say? I am rigid. I am delightfully committed to certain things in my life and I think it is an admirable attribute that I will not wear glitter or latex or whatever the hell someone comes up with just because someone tells me to. Bitch, I’m grown!
As far as fun goes, I know I am fun. Really. This girl, right here? A barrel of laughs. I just want to wear my own clothes and feel comfortable. Am I obstinate and perhaps too married to my opinions? Perhaps, but that shouldn’t stop other people. They can wear a golf outfit to the Tiger Woods theme party. Polos aren’t very slimming. I will stay in my black dress, thank you muchly.
I will tell folks to their face I am not wearing their costume. I will show up as me and bring an extra bottle of wine and say “I hope you are all having fun here” and I will join the merriment. Most of the time people will accept this because they know I am a rigid asshole-it is charm, you see-but they also know I always bring additional booze to make up for it. Really, when it comes down to it, people have to get drunk to forget what complete idiots they look like and I am there to help them.
(Also, make sure to click over and see what I am up to at Moxie Bird today. Pretty please?)
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I love theme parties, but I always choose an outfit that makes me look + feel good. However, when the theme doesn’t allow for that - I wear whatever I want.
Leigh´s last blog ..Let Water Be Your Teacher
*claps loudly in that embarassing way that everyone hates*
I totally agree, I hate being ‘told’ to wear a costume if I want to attend a function.
I out and out refuse costumes. The closest I’ve gotten was in Vegas last year, in which I donned a butterfly “mask” and turned my pashmina into a “cape” and was a “Superhero.” This lasted like 10 minutes, after which I took off my mask, tied my scarf around my neck and enjoyed wearing a dress and feeling normal.
Hey, dude, you admit it and tell it to them straight. If you’re bringing booze, who cares if you’re dressed up or not? The only time I will don a costume is if I can look damn fine while doing it.
Vie´s last blog ..The Crying
I hate costume parties as well. Mostly because whenever someone finds out I’m coming they say “awwwww you should be Raggedy Ann!” Or any other red haired children’s character. I like to resort to wearing a leopard print dress with my hair in a half pony, and when people question it say “bitch, I’m Pebbles.”
So do you not go to weddings?
That is one big theme party.
Rahul´s last blog ..I Dont Always Think But When I Do- I Prefer More Thinking Stay Confused- My Friends
I have something really important to add to this discussion: theme parties are stupid and lame. You’re welcome.
I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum - anything involving putting on a ridiculous costume makes things 100x more fun for me. Who knows why? Ever since I was little it’s how I’ve been. My mom often tells a story about how I insisted on wearing my grandma’s full length crinoline as a dress out in public when I was about 4.
But, if you showed up at my party with booze, you would be quickly forgiven for lack of costume. As long as you don’t think I’m an asshole for wearing mine =).
I severely dislike theme parties. I want to wear what I WANT to wear, not what someone tells me to. So I am with you on this one. If I conform to the theme, it’s a total accident…
Paula´s last blog ..FLAT-OUT RAGE
I understand your view on dressing up. As someone who tends to like like a moron in ANY costume, I keep trying. You keep rocking your dresses and I will look a fool enough for BOTH of us. I don’t mind, really, I think it’s kind of fun.
Oxen Cox´s last blog ..Relax…
I am with you 110% on that one!
I love that you wrote this. I hate - hate - HATE! (like really hate) wearing costumes. Always have, always will. My only salvation in college was that I was in a sorority and while I had to wear costumes required about 3 times a week I had like pageant-equipped sisters who dressed and makeup’d and haired me till I looked okay. Nowadays I just figure i’m old enough its my perrogative not to wear a costume. I also DID NOT wear a costume on Halloween. most people usually don’t care because they are already wasted or dont care because you are their friends or dont care because they dont care but if anyone asks I usually say something like…My costume is at home. I meant to go home and get it, but I got too drunk to go home again. Tee. heee. hiccup. People seem to accept that response. Cheers to those perfect black dresses, T.
Toddy´s last blog ..Happy Birthday to Me! - Part One