Death Becomes Her

So you are going to have to stick with me here, kids.

I have been sick. If you follow me on twitter or are friends with me, you know this because this is all I can talk about. I am stuffy and coughy and sleepy and miserable and I just would really like to feel better. I am also completely lacking in appetite (up until today when I had a huge hankering for grilled cheese and tots and learned that organic tots just aren’t as good and grilled cheese on 9 grain bread is a waste) and that is a feeling I am not used to. Yesterday, in an effort to get myself to eat, I went to the local Greek spot to get some chicken shwarma. My knees buckled, I nearly took a header in to the case full of hummus and baba ganoush and I didn’t finish the sandwich. Fuck that sandwich.

I am not the best patient in that I get bored and listless and living alone when you are sick blows, especially when you are a complete fucking failure at being an adult and double pay your student loan bill accidentally, but somehow forget to pay your god damn cable bill and you are without cable. They turned my cable off like I am a common criminal. This has turned out to be even more annoying because I have thrown a shit ton of cash at this problem yet still, my cable, it is not on. I do not have the strength or the desire to get on the phone with RCN at this very juncture so instead I am staring at the wall and watching shitty movies on Netflix on demand.

So, CABLEGEDDON has rendered me broke (they want cash, y’all, as they should because clearly I am a dumb ass) and there is honestly no reason for this. I am a 30 yo woman who makes enough money to pay her bills all responsible like. I just flaked. And yes, I am setting up auto pay. I have a reservation to Volt this weekend which I have been looking forward to for ages but that is about all I will be doing until next pay check. That is fine seeing as I have this aggressive case of death and I really should be relaxing.

So, that has been my past 5 days. Being a horrible adult. Taking percoset laced cough medicine that takes me to that special place. Trying to do as much work as I can from home because holy crap, the work does not end. Scrambling to get other people to cover writing assignments because clearly I am not making sense right now and should not be unleashed on the general public.

Oh, and I picked up my new glasses today. The store was right near my doctor’s office. Don’t worry. These aren’t the only pair.

That is it. I am exhausted. Please tell me I am pretty.