I used to love the mail when I was a kid. Fun things would come in it. I had a pen pal; sometimes I would be greeted by a letter from jolly England. My grandma would often mail me money, usually $5 with instructions to get myself an ice cream cone. Joyous things would spring out of that mailbox.
And then I became an adult.
In my early and mid twenties, the mail box brimmed with catalogs for things I couldn’t afford and bills I could barely pay. I started ignoring the enveloped, letting them pile up only to deal with them the last minute.
A few years ago invites to bridal showers and weddings and birth announcements started floating in. Joyous and wondrous things, of course, but also stress inducing. These pastel envelopes signaled I would soon be begging for a date and once again deciding to buy the diaper pail or the bottle cleaner.
And recently? The mail has been a harsher mistress. In the past month I have received: a $900 dollar bill from the doctor, a copy of Elegant Bride addressed to me, and a Tommy Hillfiger catalog.
The doctor screwed up, plain and simple. An invalid should have been able able to spot the insurance mistake, but I suppose it is easier to just send the bill instead of actually looking at the damn thing. It will be a mildly annoying call to make, but it should be settled up right quick. I’m quite lucky to have medical insurance and I know that. After all this medical stuff, I just don’t much feel like dealing with it.
And Elegant Bride? Well, that was just insulting and depressing. Not only am I nowhere close to be being a bride, but I sure as hell don’t plan on being an elegant one. Trashy Chic Bride is more my style.
Tommy Hillfiger? Child, please. I am not even dignifying that one with a response.
Now, I am not saying I think the mail is out to get me, but I am not not saying that. Return to sender, please.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
My mom calls him Tommy Hilfinger. Like, ugh, it’s Tommy Hilfinger. I don’t think she knows it doesn’t have an N, and I don’t correct her.
Also, I hate dealing with the mail. I totally avoid until it can’t be helped.
Lemon Gloria´s last blog ..Year three
Tommy Hilfiger still exists????
Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..We nom
I feel like nothing good can come from getting the mail.
Sometimes when I am having a great day I avoid getting the mail so it doesn’t ruin my day. And on those days when all I have is bills inside sometimes I just leave them. My mail motto, its not due until removed from the mail box.
lbluca77´s last blog ..The 2010 ATM debacle- and a Goth bar
The mail’s out to get you.
Run.
Susan´s last blog ..
mail just equals bills, which i’m already tired of paying…
that and those damn coupon fliers.
I DONT CUT COUPONS!
alexa - cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..was a good girl friday and saturday sunday- not so much
I love sending (and receiving) handwritten letters.
Further proof that I may, in fact, be a teen girl.
Peter´s last blog ..favorite u
I never got a misguided bride’s magazine, though I did get one “for baby.” That was about 3 months before I started getting stuff from AARP. I’m wondering what my purchasing habits are that put me on either list.
I LOVE mail!!
Correction: I love FUN mail. Bills, junk, catalogues, survey, and solitications? Not so much.
If it makes you feel any better, though, last week I received a membership offer from the AARP. As if I wasn’t already having panic attacks at turning 30…
Hannah´s last blog ..It is in the transformation
Tommy Hillfiger… is this 6th grade? Where is my BUM equipment shirt?
LiLu´s last blog ..The PUBLISH Button- Oh Come On- You Can Freaking DO This
Soon your mail box will be full of Holiday cards from friends thinking of you and missing you! Then it’s back to crap.
The Maiden Metallurgist´s last blog ..My Little Superhero
I keep getting flyers from gay dating services (not gay).
“Quality” mail is a lost art.
Washington Cube was a master at sending mail (and I suspect still is). It was always interesting, whatever it was.
I got something from suicide_blond once, and it was pretty cool too.
Otherwise the personal stuff comes in the form of texts from Dr. Woody Allen. Not as fun.
Phil´s last blog ..Once more into the breach
After all the medical stuff, NO you DON’T feel like dealing with it. When I was in and out of the psychotel, I had to call at least once a week about their mistakes. I finally broke down one day on the phone and said, “There is a REASON they locked me up there! It’s because I can’t HANDLE THINGS LIKE THIS!” And well - that was the only time someone was ever nice to me. She said she’d make a note that I’d called and put it off until next month.
I will send you a Christmas card. AND a birthday card, so there’s that to look forward to.
k8´s last blog ..Various and Sundry
I LOVE mail… but I agree, some things that end up in our mailboxes are JUST annoying.
san´s last blog ..Around this time of year…
Hilfiger (Hilfinger to Betty) gets into huge bitch fights with other men in NYC clubs. I’m amazed he still has time to put together a collection of catalog fug.
You should wear a leopard print gown to get hitched. With red heels. It’s how I imagine you, anyway.
freckledk´s last blog ..We’ve Got The Fug