On Sheen

I have an insatiable hunger for celebrity gossip. Now, I do have my lines. I think paparazzi who chase after children are special kinds of assholes and crossing property lines is pretty abhorrent, but I do think that when a celeb dines at Spago, they have no right to get pissed when their picture is snapped. If a celeb has made a career about being a “good guy”, I don’t feel too bad when he is found with his pants around his ankles. I know lots of people like to act above it and feel a sense of pride when they don’t know who a certain celeb is, but myself? I love it.

I have been watching this whole Charlie Sheen debacle with rapt attention. Let me clarify; the most recent Charlie Sheen debacle, where it appears he went on a rampant coke binge, choked a porn star, threw a lamp at said porn star and scared her so much that she locked herself in the bathroom.

Today, Sheen’s publicist released the following statement in an attempt to publicly shame the woman involved in the most recent arrest:

This is a woman who, for the right amount of money, sleeps with strangers.

This woman, Capri Anderson, has denied that she is a prostitute. It is, though, not up for debate that she is a porn star. Let’s, for a minute, believe that she is a prostitute, that Charlie Sheen paid her money for sex. He paid her money for sex. I don’t quite understand why it is worse for this woman to take money for sex than it is for Mr. Sheen to pay for sex, over and over and over again.

Ah, the whole virgin whore complex. Right.

Prostitution should be legal. It is going to take place whether it is against the law or not, so why not regulate it? Of course this will never happen in our buttoned up, puritanical society. It would take unfathomable work to get over centuries of sexism and openly examine how we view sex. More to the heart of the matter, tax payer money would have to go towards STD testing, government regulated hotels, and prosecuting Johns/Janes that mistreat their employees. As Americans, we would much rather use our money towards a futile battle against drugs and fighting wars we can never win. Hell will freeze over in the United States before women are allowed to have agency over their own bodies, especially if it means using them for money.

As I have watched this unfold, I have become angered, but not surprised, at some of the commentary. “Like choking never happens in porn” and “porn is the same as prostitution” has both been bandied about. Yes, choking happens in porn. Yes, some women like to be choked or like to do the choking. I fail to see how this is relavent. Sexual practices and personal kinks cannot be regulated nor should they be suppressed if they are done amongst consenting adults. Women with rape fantasies do not deserve to be raped, women who enjoy being choked should not be beaten and all women should be able to express themselves sexually without fear of bodily harm outside the bedroom. Fantasies are just that; we should not be punished for them.

Porn is a complex issue; women are often humiliated, but some of us get off on that. There is violence and things that many of us don’t understand, but I would be hard pressed to find someone who hasn’t watched it. Things get really complicated when you try to regulate sexual desire and attempt to draw a line on what is and is not degrading. What is offensive and base to one person is Tuesday night to another.

But this is what I know: a woman was beaten, threatened and terrified and she has become the butt of endless jokes. I think we can all agree that Charlie Sheen isn’t a great guy. He has three daughters and as many ex wives, yet he never seems to reflect on how his behavior affects the women in his life and what he is telling them when he acts in such a way. He has been in and out of rehab without ever really attempting to recover, beaten former wives, and has been arrested more times than I have fingers. Yet, we reward him with an obscene salary and allow him to shame a woman for taking the money he offered for sex. I am not saying Capri Anderson is a saint; any person who goes home with Charlie Sheen is at the very best lacking in judgment. It just makes me sick that beating a woman is tolerated, laughing at her plight is common place, and rewarding the man involved for his continual bad behavior is never questioned.

We can do better than this.