I am often asked about my hair or my nails or my opinions on certain fashion trends. I am no expert in this area, but I do think I have a sartorial point of view and people can appreciate that.
I am not saying they like it-my work appropriate dominatrix/pseudo punk look isn’t for everyone- but it works for me. I also like products so I generally have an opinion on most of them. So, some random thoughts on some common inquiries and conversational threads are below.
Get a good hair cut. Find one you love. No matter what your price point is, pay $10 more than you think you should. Don’t go a year without one. Framing your face with frayed, split ends detracts from how pretty you are.
While we are on hair, don’t wash it every day. It strips it and is unnecessary. Dry shampoo works wonders and pony tails, buns and head bands can cover a multitude of hair disasters. Also, don’t sleep with your hair up; hair bands tear your hair as you toss and turn. Tying your towel around your hair as you get ready does a world of damage as well. Stop doing that!
Nails are a personal thing. Mine are never unpainted (no, really, NEVER), but I realize it is a mental illness and some people do things like help the poor in their free time. Personally, I keep them short, tidy, and squoval shaped. I wear lots of very dark nail polish, so keeping them short prevents it from looking trashy. To prevent nail staining and to extend the life of your manicure, always use a base coat (Sally Hansen’s is the best and it is drug store brand as an added bonus). Make sure you apply your coats of lacquer very thinly to prevent chipping and bubbling. I am inpatient so I prefer a quick dry top coat (OPI works best for me) and lay your hands flat for the first five minutes of drying. Please, if your manicure is chipped and shredded, remove the polish. It makes you look like a hooker if you don’t. I use pure acetone remover. I’m inpatient and it wipes it off in a snap.
Wash your makeup brushes; it will prevent break outs. Figure out your best feature-you have one, stop beating yourself up-and accentuate it. There is a reason I always wear eye liner. Find your favorite brands and remain loyal to them. Some things are really worth paying extra for-foundation comes to mind-but drug store is just fine for plenty of things. I am a big fan of Maybelline Great Lash mascara and I have used baby oil as eye make up remover for years.
Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. Wear sunscreen. Wash your damn face.
Have friends who will be brutally honest as a shopping buddy and appreciate their input. I have a few of those: my friend EmmyJean can take one look at a link of some random dress and tell me that it will be too short or cut me in the wrong place. My friend Irish has no problem telling me something makes me look ten pounds heavier (in the nicest way possible). Have an Irish in your life. As an added bonus, we shop together so much she gets my style. She would never try to make me try on something floral, but she knows my look enough that she can push me out of my box, but keep it in my comfort zone.
I know this is hard, but try to ask yourself if your wardrobe is age appropriate. If you are 30 and half your wardrobe is from Forever 21, perhaps it is time to rethink things. I am not saying things need to be expensive; Zara, Target and myriad websites are full of affordable fashion. I am forever fighting my urge to show off my breasts, but it is getting better. I had a recent misstep; the dress I wore to my niece’s birthday party proved to be way lower cut than I thought when I put it on. I realized it as soon as I walked in and saw myself in the mirror. I cringe at the pictures from this party. Do you want to be crazy Aunt Lexa showing off your goodies at a child’s birthday party? I didn’t think so.
Wear clothes that fit. Love everything you own (or do your best) and have a few pieces you just adore. I love my Prada sunglasses more than most people and I have worn a leopard scarf from H&M virtually in to the ground. Don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in.
I’m really big on accessories. I know it isn’t everyone’s thing, but I like that even if I have to wear a suit for a work event, I can show some sparkle of individuality with a great necklace. It is another way to set yourself apart and make things interesting. This past weekend I went on “Parks and Recreation” bender and I kept thinking to myself how much I hated Amy Poehler’s wardrobe on the show. I finally figured out what the real issue was; they put absolutely no jewelry on that woman. Her outfits were completely lacking in interest and depth.
This is just one person’s opinion. Feel free to disagree. I urge you to share your own tips. I am just a girl who wears too much black with too many opinions.
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
I want to give an “Amen, sister!” to pretty much every point in here, but the one that prompted me to comment is the thing about Amy Poehler on P&R. I mean, seriously, how hard would it be to give her even a conservative necklace? WTH!?!
Mild non-rant rant over, but still, WTH.
sometimes I feel like we are the same person with the little things we do, such as refusing to go out with chipped nail polish or bare nails, having the best hair ever and trying to incorporate leopard print into everything. Sadly, I will never have your cleavage and for that I envy you.
Over time I have learned the best way to always have “good face days” is to pay extra attention to the care you give your skin. I’ve put a ton of time into trying to figure out what makeup will hide my blotchy skin, but have come to realize that taking extra good care of your skin, and never EVER going to bed without washing your face, makes all of this much easier. Having consistently clean and healthy skin makes putting on makeup less of a hassle, and allows you to accentuate your natural features rather than cake on the concealer and blush because you’re trying to hide things. So, healthy and clean skin is the BEST. And for those drunken nights where you can’t make it into the bathroom, keep a pack of olay cleansing wipes on your nightstand so you can swipe it over your face before passing out. Easy peasy.
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I agree on all points. Also, I’d say, do not be afraid of dresses, and not just for special occasions. I used to be anti-dresses because I felt I was being unfaithful to my primary passion - jeans. How wrong!
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Amen sister. And I dont think this post was “fluff” — it may be about fashion and girly stuff but the underlying tone was own it and be confident. Love it.
Also I swear by the china glaze base coat for my nails. I’ve given up on salon manicures because they last longer when I do my own.
jenn´s last blog ..this whole blogging thing…
I too get caught by the “too much black” conundrum, but I do love it so.
I definitely have a bit of a “style” -things I gravitate to, but it honestly depends on my mood and where I’m headed. I admit to probably having committed each fashion faux paux at some point in my life, although 90% of the time I do try to be put together nicely.
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I too never have unpainted nails. Although right now they make me look like a hooker. I like to paint my nails while I watch TV, it gives ample time to dry without ruining them.
I’m a fan of accessories but when it comes to work I don’t always make the time to put much on in the morning. I’m usually rushing. The only jewelry I never take off is my Emily necklace.
lbluca77´s last blog ..The 2010 ATM debacle- and a Goth bar
Gah, i’m sitting at work wearing all black with unpainted nails and not great hair. I wholeheartedly agree with all of your points though and there is never an excuse for not dressing your age
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i love it. i love that you used the word squoval too. i like my nails the same way. and i HATE chipped nailpolish. so damn trashy i can’t stand it.
i wholeheartedly agree about going with second day hair. washing your face at night before bed no matter how many martinis you’ve consumed. (i think the first time we met, and had a sleepover (in the same bed?), we pinky swore that we’d make each other wash our damn faces before bed.)
buy clothes that fit. even if you hate the damn size. you’ll look better in a well fitting size 10 than squeezing into an 8 because you like the number.
fix your roots. if you’re going to pay good money to highlight or color your hair, then keep up with it. to me, roots also fall into the trashy category with the chipped nails.
(though some celebrities are rocking and even going for the dark roots look now a days? not for me.)
own a killer pair of black pants that make your ass look good. same with a go to pair of jeans.
mix and match prints and colors you wouldn’t necessarily think to put together. funkify things a little bit. be wild sometimes. it keeps people intrigued. it keeps YOU interested in yourself.
I *just* discovered OPI’s black cherry chutney polish, and I might never take it off. AMAZING.
One other tip I’d add is find a good dermatologist. They can do wonders.
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I bite my nails (I know, I know) but even on the occasions when I’ve tried to grow my nails they break and chip so easily that I just gave up. So I don’t polish, but my toes/feet are always ready for flipflops! Everything else, totally agree esp the hair!
On the Forever 21 stuff, I think the trick is learning to use what works. I’m not gonna buy everything at F21 but they have great, cheap tank tops and layering clothes! It’s great to mix and match cheap stuff with quality pieces.
Love this post! Although argh, I need to stop sleeping with my hair pulled up on top of my head. And I’m a HUGE believer in clothes that fit and wish they weren’t so hard to find for my body type.
I did not think your birthday party cleavage was inappropriate. Boobs are a favorite item of many 1-year olds.
And thank you for also being the person who tells me when shopping that “you can do better,” or “that doesn’t play up your strengths,” or “not my favorite look on you” - all girl code for “please don’t buy that; it makes you look fat.”
Today marks the first time I’ve ever seen the word “squoval.” I had to look it up. Damn you and your vocab.
Oh wow. It’s my old Surviving Myself avatar! I might be tearing up over here.
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Obviously I need an overhaul in the fashion department, but I tell you what. Getting that awesome haircut was the best thing I ever did. I pay WAY too much for this stylist, but I will never leave her.
Also. I love wrap dresses because they look so great on me. But I always make sure I have a funky pin or two in my purse for when I go to a meeting. Pull it up a little and pin those breasts away.
k8´s last blog ..Therapy Tuesday
I also always have my nails painted. Always. I blame Mad Men. I watched an entire season in a weekend and Betty Draper’s nails are perfect in every scene. It really got to me. And then I had to have perfect nails too.
I just tried out one of those Shellac manicures that last two weeks. I’m a week in and no chips. Love it. And it’s red, too.
I once spent an entire month’s rent on Chanel sunglasses for my birthday. But I feel like a movie star every time I wear them. So it’s win-win, really.
Lindsay´s last blog ..An afternoon song
Your comment about re-thinking Forever 21 wardrobes is pot-on… painful, but spot-on. I mean, that IS the name of store, not an indication of my state of maturity. Confession: I still buy tanks, leggings and tees at Garage and Ardene (I’m not sure if those exist in the States, but they’re pretty much shitty teen mall stores.)
And now I’m going to go paint my nails.
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“pot-on”?! Sweet Jesus. Freudian slip, perhaps? Gahd. I need to get better at proof-reading my comments.
Racquel Valencia´s last blog ..AlmoNaBloPoMo VIII
I turned 30 this year (“Thrisis ZOMG!!” Yeah, not at all - as LiLu said, *gag*), and I decided to give some thought to how I was going to approach these kind of things moving forward. Because you know, you don’t want to wake up one day as the 45 year old w/ bad wrinkles and a time-machine wardrobe! What it boiled down to, for me, was three basic directives: Be healthy. Be stylish. Moisturize. I’m hoping this mantra holds me in good stead
Also, re “don’t wear shoes you can’t walk in,” I have this (really judgy, I admit) problem w/ women who can’t walk in heels. Too many women walking around DC looking like bow-legged chickens! Heel-toe, heel-toe, walk with purpose and confidence! Learn it and love it. And if a woman isn’t sure whether she looks like a bow-legged chicken or not…well, see the “have an Irish in your life” directive.
I never wear nail polish (it takes me from “damn you got some long fingers” to “omg, tranny?”), but I think the important thing is all or nothing: either a well done, solid colored paint job, or bare and CLEAN.
My new rule is never wear anything except stockings in the exact color of your own skin. I have had too many shocks thinking people are wandering around topless (or, in the case of one dude who’d made a particularly poor choice in bicycle shorts, bottomless).
And this comes racing back to me every winter, but ladies: invest in your hoisery. A woman in a Target dress and good quality tights or stockings can look like a million bucks, but poor quality black hose that start greying out at the knee and become totally transparent at the thigh will make even the best designer outfit look cheap and unfinished.
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I tend to tie my hair back in bed purely because otherwise I wake up with it a frizzy mess overnight (I don’t have time to wash it in the morning so tend to do so at night). I don’t suppose you know a way to stop this from happening if I DON’T tie it back? I’m really at a loss here!
Some great tips though. And I wear LOADS of dark nail polish (nails are currently navy blue!) so I really need to do something from preventing them staining.
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I, too, would like to give an “Amen!” to many of these, though not nail polish. I always feel like my nails are suffocating when I wear nail polish. I keep them nice(ish) (usually), but sans polish. And I would second another commenter’s “Do not be afraid of dresses,” though I, personally, would add, “but do be afraid of skirts.” I will always choose dresses over skirts.
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I’m almost always in dresses, less because I’m fancy, and more because I’m lazy. Matching tops to pants is too much effort before I’ve had my coffee. And finding pants that fit when you’re petite, short-waisted and have a bit of a tummy? Pure torture! Everything is either too long or too pinchy, and most petite clothes are too boxy on me.
I’d rather throw on a dress from the junior’s department at Nordstrom, some tights and cowboy boots, and be done with it. And maybe a cloche and heels, if I’m feeling special.
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I never knew that wrapping my hair in a towel damages it. That’s good to know. It is so nice to have someone be brutally honest. My mom is that way with me. Everything goes through her first and when she compliments me on something I bought all on my own I am on cloud 9.
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