My viewing habits, whether they be TV or movies, are interesting.
I have some normal favorites. Parks and Recreation forever and always; Ron Swanson brings me unmitigated joy. No Reservations for my love, Tony Bourdain. (He is Tony to me, none of this Anthony nonsense.) Sons of Anarchy has perked up many a dreary day. (Opie forever!)
But, then shit gets weird. I am obsessed with dark, twisty stuff that keeps me awake at night. The kind of stuff that has me shooting up at 3 am when the building creeks.
There is I Survived. The concept is simple; crazy stories of survival told first person. But everyone is always kidnapped or raped or tortured or stuck in a ravine for days. I cannot imagine torture or what a ravine looks like, but I am like a moth to a flame with this stuff. A moth that hates sleep.
And the prison documentaries. So many of them. Specials on MS-13 and the Aryan Brotherhood and Russian Prison tattoos. This week I told my friend that when I die, she is not to hide my vibrator or my shameful iPod stuffed full of the Ying Yang Twins. She is to erase my Netflix queue as surely my good, albeit twisted, named will be sullied posthumously.
The weird side effect of all this is the odd internal conversations I have with myself. Would I prefer to be in a Russian or American prison? What role would I fall in to if I were incarcerated? Would I be able to stab a kidnapper in the eye? Is using urine to tattoo really that gross?
I don’t think these are answers I should share out loud. Some things about ourselves should be covered.
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When I was in high school and middle school ALL i wanted was to work in a prison. Design prisons. Run prisons. Possibly be in prison, who knows, I shouldn’t limit myself.
There’s a huge/amazing maximum security prison that I would drive by every year on the way to regional math field day (nerd), and I LOVED IT. They did this huge revision to it when I was a sophomore and they had an open house — my parents wouldn’t let me go because they obviously suck and I attribute everything wrong with my life to them holding me back by not letting me go. The end.
I am a sucker for anything about women who snap and kill people — “Snapped” on Oxygen particularly, but “Deadly Women” on I.D. is a close second. This probably does not say good things about my mental landscape.
Lex, do not be ashamed of your Netflix queue! EVERYONE’s queue is filled with ridiculous stuff. They just won’t admit it. Mine is part chick flicks, part post-apocalyptic conspiracy shit, part superhero cartoons (for Nick, not me I swear), and part classic movies that I will never watch because I prefer post-apocalyptic conspiracy shit.
Also Eastern Promises totally glamorized hot Russian ex-cons. Mostly because of Viggo Mortensen.
I’ve been known to binge on hours and hours of Gangland on the History channel. I find it incredibly fascinating. It’s educational programming,so it’s totally healthy, right?
On that note - You should read Gang Leader for a Day if you haven’t already.
I’ve assigned someone to delete my Nook. Because mixed in there with the historical biographies and young adult fiction are a LOT of free/99 cent romance novels — at least one of which includes sex on horseback. I will now crawl into my ravine of shame.
I have this fascination with white supremacist and other extremely bigoted people. Meeting with and talking to Matt Hale (http://www.adl.org/learn/ext_us/Hale.asp?xpicked=2) was one of the more memorable moments in my life.
Learning about crazy folks is fun.
LOVE those prison shows. Just watched one about a women’s prison (and the girls who are “boys” in prison); and one from Frontline about the mentally ill being released from prison. Interesting stuff. But, I am probably too interested in serial killers and how they work,so. . . Anyway, I wold LOVE to see your netflix queue!
Have you seen I Shouldn’t Be Alive?
i’m going to be a complete asshole and leave a comment having zero to do with the above post. i’m obsessed with competition shows with lots of drama and crying. who am i to judge your determination to never sleep ever? i just wanted to tell you how fabulous i think you are and pass along a little award: http://schoonsense.blogspot.com/2011/09/feeling-special.html <3
On that prison theme, when I was but a young journalist one of my beats was the state’s largest maximum security prison. I once walked through the place with the warden as inmates yelled, cursed and threw various “items” from the tiers. The warden, a career corrections officer, turned to me and said: “There isn’t enough money in the world to get me top spend 24 hours in this place.” And he worked there. So be careful what you wish for, because the reality is far worse than even a TV show can impart.
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