So, I am a city girl, through and through. The suburbs make me uneasy. I like being surrounded by noise and bars and love having the ability to walk to anything I need. I can’t drive-well, I can technically but you don’t want me to-so public transportation is a must. My apartment is tiny, but I wouldn’t trade it for a soulless McMansion to save my life. I love the character of my neighborhood, colorful homeless people and all.
And really, yes, I know the burbs work for some people. I truly get it, but they ain’t for me. I don’t plan on ever living there, even with babies.
So, you’d think I would have made peace with crime, seeing as I live in the city and all. But holy hell, no, no I have not. I am extraordinarily obsessed and fearful of crime. I am downright skiddish at times and I obsessively read local crime updates. It is as if reading it will prevent me from being a victim.
News broke this weekend that a man posing as a cab driver has been raping women in DC. I cannot stop reading about it. I inspected every cab I took this weekend, making sure all tags were present and tensing myself when any movements were made.
And I don’t know how to shake it. Twelve years in this city and still a healthy fear of disaster. Is this something I will ever get used to? Maybe I don’t want to, I don’t want to get lazy and drop my guard. But the fear is a compromise I have made to live a life I feel happy about.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
As someone who is a recent victim of a violent crime I think I can help with that last question. No you should not ever get used to it, living in constant fear of crime is kind of a terrible way to live but I probably could have avoided a carjacking if I was slightly more aware of my surroundings.
That scares the unholy hell out of me and I don’t even know the whole story.
You should always be on your guard as a city-dweller, whether your’re a seasoned urban vet or a fresh-faced new citizen. Never hurts to be cautious.
It just makes me feel wimpy and paranoid, though…but better than the alternative.
Not at all. That sense of awareness and guard will keep you safe.
“News broke this weekend that a man posing as a cab driver has been raping women in DC. I cannot stop reading about it. I inspected every cab I took this weekend, making sure all tags were present and tensing myself when any movements were made.”
Two words: OC Spray. I carry it on-duty and it works. It’s no firearm or baton, but it’ll do a number on the unarmed rape-y types.
Hmm, but is that legal?
100% as long as you do the paperwork. You can e-mail me if you want to know the procedure.
I’m with you. A few hours in the burbs starts to hurt my soul.
Months ago I read that a crazy woman walked up behind a young mom pushing a baby carriage at 11:30am and stabbed a box cutter into her side then screamed “give me your purse” and ran away. This was on the same street I walk 4 times a day. Imagine walking along and out of the blue feeling a box cutter dig deep into you? Like what.the.fuck.
I obsessed about it for awhile and then thought that honestly, it’s just a good reminder that we still live “in the city” and that it’s never okay to get too comfortable and let my guard down. Stories like that keep your eyes a little bit more open.
The cab thing is really fucking scary though…
A box cutter? Sweet Christ. But your line of thought on this makes a lot of sense.
I’m hyper aware of my surroundings living in a city but it doesn’t stop me enjoying myself or anything
Right, same here. I love the city.
There is, of course, that trade-off. I think everywhere - anywhere - you live there’s some kind of trade-off. Like you though, the burbs make me itchy and uneasy, and I can’t see myself there. I don’t like danger either, but then again being alive is dangerous, you know? There’s no right way, or way to win. So do what you feel, be where you feel at home.
Right, that about sums it up. Being alive IS dangerous, but I am happy with my life and choices and where I choose to call home.
I am the same way. I compulsively read crime reports. The cab driver story is particularly scary for me bc in grade school a creep was arrested for driving around in his cab following little girls home from school and I just happened to be one of those girls so I’ve always had a mistrust for cabs.
Oh wow, that is terrifying and way too close to home for you. Eek.
Distrust? Mistrust? Whatever
I had not heard about this until I read the newspaper at lunch today. Ugh.
My boyfriend and I were out of town this weekend and got a call on Saturday from the home security company. Apparently someone broke into the house that afternoon. By that, I mean that they broke the screen and jimmied up the window to get in, and walked out with my laptop. This happened in broad daylight at a window that is literally six feet from the sidewalk.
That is a whole other issue- as a society, we don’t really look out much for our neighbors. Someone probably watched it happen.
That’s the biggest downfall I can see about my eventual plan to move back to a big city.
It most definitely is, but worth living here IMO.
Being scared is one thing, but being alert and prepared is quite another. If I were living in the city I might invest in pepper spray. If anything, knowing it is there could help ease my mind a bit! Although the suburbs aren’t entirely safe either. I think this is a woman thing, not a city thing.
Agreed; women are way more aware of this then men and I think sometimes men don’t “get” how scary it can be for us. They don’t have to deal with cat calls and leering.
Even though I have lived in cities for the past 8 years, I still catch myself being ridiculously naive about certain places and people. It’s so easy to feel a false sense of security, I think.
Right- you have to always, always be vigilant.
I find it a little funny that everyone responds to your “I’m afraid of being a victim of crime” post with their own tales of being crime victims, potentially scaring you more.
Do be aware and alert about your surroundings. Don’t walk with earbuds in. Don’t walk alone after dark. But beyond that just let it go, because worrying won’t help or hurt your chances. I had to stop reading the crime reports for my neighborhood (or anywhere really) because it was making me paranoid. That helped.
I do follow all those rules, though I do occasionally find myself walking alone at night. I do my best to avoid it, though.
Don’t worry you aren’t the only one. Before I heard the faux driver rape story I am always afraid to get into cabs however rational or irrational it may be. I mean, you are with a stranger. Almost always a strange man. A young girl alone with a strange man. And he is operating machinery that can keep you locked/contained in and take you anywhere. It is kind of a scary thought. On the other hand I hate that I think these things about people who really are (almost all the time) just hard working regular individuals providing a service and not some psychopathic sex maniac. The world is crazy… T