On My Vagina

My vagina is really angry.

It is sick of being dragged in to fights, especially fights within the government.

Its best friend, my uterus, ain’t too damn happy either.

You see, our government is about to shut down. It seems the hold ups are really ideological. Members of the Republican party don’t want government money going to funding Planned Parenthood.

You guys, you know Planned Parenthood, right? It provides vital health services to women of all races, creeds, color and economic backgrounds. It is a magical place where women can get breast exams, pap smears, prenatal counseling and birth control. Oh, also, it provides services to men in form of testicular and prostate cancer screening.

But you guys also know that the money Planned Parenthood receives from the government DOES NOT GO TO FUND ABORTIONS. You know that. You are smart and you can see it is just scare tactics and crazy, fucked up politics.

But this doesn’t mean my vagina’s feelings aren’t hurt. I mean, it doesn’t want to be a pawn.

My vagina is not a deadly weapon…well, not generally. Some men have claimed it is, but this is all lies.

My vagina is responsible and makes smart decisions.

My vagina goes to the doctor once a year.

My vagina watches out for its pal, my uterus, and does the right things to keep a safe, uninhabited environment.

Guys, what did my vagina do to anyone? Just exist, it seems.