If you know me, I’ve probably called you babe. Or sweetie. Perhaps hun, killer, or baby. Maybe doll, darling or lover. Some of you even get the special ones like honeybee, poptart, and pudding.
I called an ex-boyfriend Princess for most of our relationship which I wholly admit is neither that kind or charming but it really annoyed him. What can I say? I am not always that mature. I have since grown…somewhat.
I am a terms of endearment kind of gal which is odd because I can find them pretty annoying unless they come from the right person. Some people can just pull them off without coming off condescending. I guess I have deemed myself one of those people. I think I get it from my mom. She still calls me “Pie”, as in pumpkin pie.
For all the nicknames and verbal ticks of affection I have cultivated over the years, I was left completely stumped when it came to describing this tapenade. Was it briny? Was it salty? What was it? I loved it, but the power was much more flavorful than most tapenades and it was not for the weak of heart. It finally occurred to me that it was both…I had mindlessly grabbed salt cured olives (those wrinkly olives) which made the tapendae both powerfully salty and forcefully briny. For a more mellow spread I recommend regular Kalamata olives or a salt cured/Kalamata combo. This was a pretty big hit at a party I attended last week and besides pitting the olives, it was a snap to make.
So, I guess I’ll call this one “killer”…it packs a punch.
Olive Tapenade
~1.5 cups black olives, pitted
2 tablespoons capers
1 small garlic clove, minced
Juice from one lemon
2 teaspoons anchovy paste (or one anchovy filet)
1/2 teaspoon herbs de provence
Salt and pepper
~3/4 cup olive oil
Add all ingredients except oil to a blender or food processor. Start pouring in oil slowly. Stop when mixture is blended. It should be the texture of a thick hummus.
No coinkydink, I’m sure, that some of your terms of endearment have been food-related.
Peter
None at all.
What’s my special name?
Wait, don’t tell… we’ll keep it our dirty little secret.
It is just between us and the baby Jesus.
OK sugar. I’m looking at the platter and thinking why do I like olive oil but loathe olives? Fortunately I see there is some lovely boursin to spread on my crackers while I ponder this. Let me know if you come up with an answer for this doll. A la prochaine ma petite choufleur.
Endearments for you
Are but terms of confection
Sans the calories
I will come up with an answer for this, honeybee.
Ohhh, I love terms of endearment! And nicknames.
I like how your sweet terms circle back to food, though…”pie,” “pudding,” “poptart”… Classic.
Yeah, not so shocking really.
I too use the nicknames excessively. Some of my favs are Sugar-pants, Pumpkin-britches, and Muffin.
Sugar pants!! OOOOOHHH. Love it.
I’m partial to Cupcake, myself. Or Sweets.
And that spread looks delightful!
Cupcake is a Frecks special.
My family calls me “Miss Pie”, as in “cutie pie” (barf). Some of my close friends have shortened it to “Miss” or “Missy”, but generally I loathe when people call me things like “darling” or “hon” because I think it sounds condescending. You, I would make an exception for.
My roommate has this habit of calling me “awn” (the first syllable in my TWO-SYLLABLE name) and I swear it makes me want to rip her pancreas out. Like, is it so hard to add a “ya”?
I am weird about people calling me Lex. I don’t mind it; in fact a lot of people call me that exclusively. But when near strangers do it? I get annoyed.
If you managed to call your ex “princess” for the duration of your relationship and all he did was get “annoyed”, then he deserved it….well, its either that or you’re into girls too. Something you’re not telling us?
He deserved it and I am stricky dickly. Sorry, DF.
Not a fan of olives in general because of the saltiness, but maybe I’ll try your kalamata suggestion.
I call an ex-girlfriend #$@$@#, but not to her face. That’s her nickname now, so does it count?
I think you’d like it with the kalamatas. Let me know if you try it.
When I lived down south, it was the norm to call everyone “honey.” I still do it. And it’s kind of become my thing. But it went much better with the southern drawl that I developed and now miss in my voice.
And I too, love olive oil, detest olives. Why is that?
One of life’s many mysteries.
I generally call people “dude” and “whore.” But I mean it affectionately, so does it count as a term of endearment?
Of course. You can call me whore anyday.
You probably don’t need salted olives when the recipe calls for anchovy paste! But then eating salt usually just makes me want more salt. A good tapenade is hard to beat!
I actually liked it but it may be a bit much for some people.
I call people dude all the time, even women.
I think it makes me sound intelligent.
I am big on dude as well though I know I am not that intelligent.
If you don’t make this for me in May, I am divorcing you faster than you can say “Ellen and Portia”. Snookums.
This would not be my first divorce.
Hmmm…Now I want to feel special enough to get a pet name!
But I’ll wait.
Patiently.
Since I’m so shy and all…haha
Btw, that looks yummy!
No need to be shy around me. I am nice. A Teddy bear even. I soft and cuddly teddy bear.
That entire plate looks delicious.
And I’m partial to calling people Muffin and Peanut. But yeah, it’s all about the food pet names.
My friend B gets “poptart”…he is lucky that way.
All I can see is that delicious brie-favorite thing EVER.
You can call me baby hun killer if you want. I’m not sure what it means but it sounds great.
So you are a baby killer? Huh…
My favorite for guys is Brah, left over from my surfing days. Dude is universal. And for the ladies I go with sweetheart to their face and broad when they ain’t lookin’!
See, I thinks sometimes broad can be ok…like “she is a tough broad”.
i want that whole plate right now. all by myself too, woman.
I will mail it to you.
Lem, did you just give away my mother’s favorite serving dish?
She won’t mind.
I’ve never had a nickname. How much do they cost?
A million fo fillion dollars.
My first thought: “…killer”?
‘Course, it’d probably be accurate for the brined olives. Might try that. But tapenade with kalamatas is heaven for the taste buds, guaranteed. Anchovy optional. I can put away frightening amounts of the stuff.
History geek side note: pumpkin britches are/were real.
I bow before the genius of the phrase “terms of confection”.
Yes, killer. Like “Whaddup Killah!”.
I am not as good as Sawyer in producing nicknames, but I am pretty good. In order for me to declare a nickname, I need to hear a person or see a mannerism or tick. Then the magic happens.
Hmm…I don’t think I have ever had a nickname based on my ticks. Well, Don (dad) calls me Grace since I am so clumsy.
MMMM…is that raw bacon I see rolled up on the plate?
Oh for crying out loud. It is prosciutto.
i want that entire platter, STAT!
Help yourself.
I want that prosciutto!!!
You don’t want the tapenade.
Uhm. Also? I am really all about terms of endearment. I think lately I’ve been more mindful of saying it too soon to folks in case it freaks ‘em out, but otherwise I love usin’ ‘em.
I try to watch it if I am dating someone…nothing sends a guy running for the hills like “babe”.
Yeah, the prosciutto is what caught my eye.
mmm….salt cured pig…mmmmm…..
It was tasty…Shannon provided it.
Everyone’s a “babe,” “chica,” “hon,” or “sweetie” in my book, regardless of gender (except “chica”) or how well I know you. Yes, it’s gotten me in trouble, but it’s second nature. If you don’t like it, move to Montana.
I LOVE olives!
I think “If you don’t like it, move to Montana” may be my new catch phrase.
anchovy paste makes everything better.
It is salty goodness.
Hmm, did Phil really say bacon rolled up on a plate?
He sure did.
Actually, it was pancetta. But lovely, so maybe someday I’ll take a home meat-curing course.
Hm…really? Could sworn it was prosciutto. I stand corrected.
“besides pitting the olives”
Sorry, I quit reading there. Unless you have some magic pitting tips that don’t involve drawing blood or tons of olive meat under your fingernails.
So I guess I’ll just have to come over to your house to have some!
By the way, can I just tell you how well you write? I would just say “hey, I made this for the party.” I would never come up with the whole nickname angle. You do that so well.
Well, the salt cured made it much easier to pit them.
And thanks Mary! Are you trying to slep with me? Because this would totally work. Flattery gets you far.
I definitely call everyone “hun,” which probably sounds strange to women older than me, haha.