So about a week ago I passed 200,000 original page views here at this site. I would have noticed sooner but I have been too busy dancing around my bedroom in my underwear singing Girl Talk in to my hairbrush.
I have been thinking of what I could do for you guys to celebrate. I decided on two treats.
First, let me share with you the most magnificent piece of mail that I have received in the past (almost) two years. Seriously, I love this glorious heaping of hate; it is one of my most prized possessions. This letter had some stiff competition, but this one takes the cake. After going back and forth with this guy, and telling him “good bye” (whoops, I made a typo…shocking) and calling him insecure, I got this lovely gem. It was actually a comment I chose not publish because this guy was begging for way more attention than I am ever willing to give a man. Please enjoy:
Dear Lem,
Apparently you think I’m “an insecure man,” and that’s unattractive to you. This saddens me. Tell you what, I would wager the balance of my bank account that I could take you home (your home, since I’d be from out-of-town). But it probably wouldn’t work because I imagine you get hit on so rarely and would realize that something was up once a stud like myself hit on you. Oh, and I bet you’re easier than a Saigon hooker (call it a remnant from your fatty days).
Then, there is the matter of us being in the same industry. Well, me at least. I’m 23 and I’ve had more front-page stories and freelance clips in national magazines than you will likely ever see, even if you can parlay this craptastic blog into an actual job (I think Martha Stewart’s Living is hiring?).
So while you may have “banned” me, I take solace in knowing that I’m out of your league in every way imaginable. Feel free to forget you ever ran into me. I can only imagine how sad of a reminder I am. Goodbye to you, love.
P.S. Goodbye is one word. Why the fuck would it be two? And combative baby shouldn’t be hyphenated. Do you see a compound modifier in there?
P.P.S. I know you can read this. If you would like to respond, I will give you the ability to (see below). If not, I completely understand. Enjoy living in
your delusional blog world.
I am not going to offer a shred of commentary, but would love to hear yours.
And the other treat for y’all? It is raffle time once again. Comment below-a question, an observation, a haiku, or a compliment on the awesomeness of my hair, the reason why I am a hooker-and you will be entered. Names will be chosen at random. The raffle closes tomorrow night (5/7) at 5 pm EST. If it can be shipped (ie no cakes), I will make the winner whatever they want…within reason.
Thanks to all of you…and thanks for accepting my hooking ways.
What a freaking idiot.
Doesn’t he know I hit on you every 15.3 minutes?
P.S. ROAD TRIP TO SAIGON!!!
Dude, I could make us SO MUCH MONEY.
Wait. Wait. I think my brain just imploded at reading [email protected]
Actually.
It did.
Who in the fuck is this douche nugget? I bet he’s got a penis the size of a nub. I’m thinking half an inch long and half an inch in diameter.
‘Cause only dicknuts with insecurities bother to comment nasty shit on the interwebs.
THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERWEBS.
I think the email was a nice touch…and I don’t know who it is. He lives in Boston….
There once was a blogger camed Lem,
Who had hair that was gorgeous and femme.
Some douche sent her hate,
When she chose not to mate
With a dude with a dick like a daisy stem.
I love limericks.
Oh my gosh, this is amazing. Can I frame this?
Hm, well, I’ve no real commentary on mr. douche’s fantabulous email short of “not so much with the classy”. Also, comparing you with a Saigon hooker (is it even Saigon anymore?) always indicates strong self-esteem on his part and certainly wouldn’t indicate any rampant insecurity.
I just wanted to say that I recently found this site and am a fan. I genuinely enjoy reading your stuff and like playing with the recipes (and while I successfully destroyed the scallops, I’m pretty sure that was totally due to my inability to read directions).
Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
Thanks 12 minds, and welcome. Nice to have you here. Also, you are correct; it is now Ho Chi Min City.
You’re such a hooker, Lemmy!
I’ll try my hand at a haiku…
Precipitation
I share sweet tweets on Twitter
Where is my chap stick?
Would you like to taste my cherry chapstick? I bet you’ll like it.
“And combative baby shouldn’t be hyphenated.”
I think I peed my pants a little at the hilarious and clearly unintentional irony of this line.
Yes, another good catch. This thing is the gift that keeps giving.
someone tell Douchy McNubStub that letters to the Penthouse Forum do not count as “freelance clips”.
They don’t? Shit…there goes MY writing career.
That’s just Duggar Dumb.
I’ll wager that the anonymous puss is a big fan of this guy: http://gawker.com/tag/paul-janka/
And this guy:
http://gawker.com/tag/john-fitzgerald-page/
Here’s hoping that your hater will also one day achieve the title of “Worst Person in the World.” It sounds as if he’s well on his way to doing so.
You may be as easy as a Saigon hooker, but your man here is no doubt hung like a Thai rent boy in his tweens, so we can probably just call this one a draw.
A draw indeed…and Duggar dumb! That is wonderful.
I’m just thrilled you finally used “cooker with a heart of gold.”
Thanks for giving it to me…I was waiting for the perfect occasion to use it.
I would be mad, too
If I had a penis nub
Goodbye or good bye
…
Your account balance
Is only impressive to
A Saigon hooker
…
Combative baby
Would make a great rock band name
As would douchenugget
That is all for today.
3! You have done too much.
Oh, oh, oh! I love that he’s such an idiot. And if I win, I want you to come see me. I will snuggle with you better that Lilu. I mean it.
Oh wow, I love a good holding.
my comment is only this, please know that we could start up something similar and have great success. even if we just ate them.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/06/dining/06burg.html?_r=1&8dpc
OMG, yes! We have a plan. I may weigh 2894 pounds, but it will be awesome.
Well, if you are a cooker and a hooker with a golden heart, I assume this makes you a chooker.
Or a choker… Welcome, GaL!
That guy has no idea what he’s talking about. He wouldn’t know a Saigon hooker if one sat on his lap.
Your blog is awesome
It makes me hungry to see
Pics of the goodies
Or gave him a lap dance. And thanks!
I saw the same thing Fearless did and laughed heartily. And for that reason, I would love to see his published work. I bet he’s just constantly making his parents proud that the condom broke.
Seriously…he is very literate and well spoken.
He’s from Boston? This shithead is running amuck in my city? Maybe I should punch every guy I walk by in the junk today and say “You know what you did.” Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.
And I am sure they have all done SOMETHING. Pretty much every guy deserves a kick in the junk…or a punch.
Dick lives in my hood?
I’ll get him, and get him good.
Lem hater, beware!
Twenty-three years old-
what the fuck does this guy know?
How to spell goodbye?
Ohhh, big deal! Who cares?!
Lem could write you off the books.
(Without Martha’s help.)
You, my dear Lem, rock.
Hooking, cooking, dancing, and,
best of all, laughing,
in the face of hate.
So, screw this dickhead.
We love to love you!
(Yes, that’s FIVE, count ‘em, FIVE haikus for you! And now everyone in this damn coffee shop is staring at me for counting with my fingers like I’m four years old. Excellent.)
Wow, Hannah, this is great. Thanks so much. Five…you are raising the bar here.
Obviously his mommy gave him everything he ever wanted when he was a kid.
Except love.
I’ll be your pimp.
Because your hair is that awesome.
End.of.story.
How much should I charge?
“But it probably wouldn’t work because I imagine you get hit on so rarely and would realize that something was up once a stud like myself hit on you”
Ok, so, I came to the DC meetup in January, I sat on a bar stool next to you, we talked for less than 5 minutes before a man came up to hit on you. I know, I was there, I saw it with my own eyes, I’m guessing you get hit on quite often. Obviously this fucktard doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Oh, I remember that. Thanks for the reminder…SEE, hater, evidence not every guy thinks I am a Saigon hooker!
YES!
I love this stuff. I can see him now, plotting his terrific scheme to purchase a plane ticket, fly to DC, seek you out in a bar (which one? when?), seduce you, make love to you, then reveal “I’M THE ONE WHO WROTE THE LETTER! IN YOUR FACE!!” then fly back home. “Yes….it HAS to work!!”
Then, he breaks off the classic “ways that I’m better than you” that is always found in letters/emails like these. There’s “job”, “bank account”, and “education”. These are the top 3 - I think he went for the trifecta here (though technically, he didn’t elaborate on how much is in his bank account).
I would give my left arm to read all of his “front page” stories…please beg him to send you just one. Give in and sleep with him if that’s what’s required. I can only imagine the subject matter would pertain to a “water skiing squirrel” or “circus comes to town” - something like that.
Please, don’t dismiss him Lemm…I think there is much more to be mined here. Will he read this? Allow him to respond. It will be comedy gold.
I don’t know if he will read this…I may have run him off when I stopped giving him attention. Most men are predictable that way. And a trip from Biston is a long way to come for a hate fucking.
Wow, blogs sure are disproportionately represented by very handsome, rich, uber-intelligent, well-hung men swimming in beautiful women that don’t need to overcompensate for anything in their extraordinary lives. Isn’t it?
PS - I love your hair.
Yes, he is compensating for nothing.
Ps-Thank you.
I want more stories about you in your underwear singing girl talk.
What is there to know? What color my panties are?
Underwear dancing is kind of my favorite thing ever.
It is pretty damn perfect.
Wow. What a total wankstain.
Assuming - arguendo - that he is in fact a rich, well-employed and well-educated wankstain, his highly-paid ghostwriter should know better than to begin a sentence with a preposition… TWICE.
Uh oh…watch out. he is gonna come get you from Boston.
The most amazing thing here is that someone obviously took the time to write this. At least for me, when I choose to spew hate, I reserve it for important things. . . yannow. . . like speaking out against genocide or scams targeting little old ladies.
Not for a blog I don’t like. Which, on a secondary note, boggles my brain. How could anyone not like Culinary Couture?!
Lemmonex, Lemmonex, the fairest of fair,
She is the blogger with the nicest of hair.
The hater harangues her, aged a mere 23,
But we all know he has the smallest pee-pee.
Chin up, beauteous blogger, have not a care!
Because in vitriolic minds, there’s nothing much there.
My head may explode. This is great…and the use of vitriolic is killer.
How about a recipe for “Boston Oysters” LOL
OUCH…
mine is a tanka! (57577)
- - -
smoke plumes in blue streams
lipstick on a cigarette
fetid, humid night
weaving through motorcycles
streetlights and saigon hooker
Pretty, but I would expect nothing less from you, Foxy. Thank you.
…..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The mere fact that he wrote just confirms your verdict. Secure men don’t need to write a letter telling you how fucking AWESOME they are, why? Because they don’t need validation.
Also? News clips? Front page? Just wanna cite your SAT scores and IQ while you’re at it buddy? Fucking tool.
Wait, he is also a STUD. Don’t forget that.
Oh, right.
WHO CALLS THEMSELVES THAT? JE-BUS.
Why a stud, of course.
wow, what a nutjob. did jules say he’s from boston? hold me.
and if anyone will comment on a good HOH you can count on me. i love your locks and think you rock a nice side swept bang if i do say so myself.
Why thanks…it is a look that works.
I think you should submit this for Beta of the Month over at Roissy.
I think you had an idea here.
GOD WHY DONT I EVER GET HATE MAIL?!
I’d like to compliment your super awesome hair and boobs.
Actually I just wanted everyone to know I saw your boobs.
I win.
Maxie saw my boobs everyone…SAW MY GLORIOUS BOOBS.
Wow. I just don’t get haters. I mean, what kind of dumb f*ck feels so entitled to make a comment about person he’s never met before. I can understand disagreeing with someone’s viewpoint but this is just ridiculous.
Let me psychoanalyze him a bit: insecure SOB, moderately attractive but acts like he’s god’s gift to women (again insecurity rearing its ugly head) who actuallly REALLY wants to bang you so he makes an obnoxious hater comment to get your attention, and when that backfires he feels “rejected” and calls you a Saigon whore. Oh, and the mommy issues. I think possibly daddy issues too, can’t live up to daddy type of thing.
I pretty much agree with everything here. This letter has been a treasure, let me tell you.
Uhhh, should I point out to douchebag that [email protected] is incorrect, since it would be “you’re” and on top of that, contractions should be avoided, so really it should be “youare”.
Now that English 101 is over, what tool sends that note after being rejected? If that really worked, it would be a sad sad world.
I’m sure you get hit on often. Next time I see you, I will be sure to hit on you for two reasons. 1. Prove this idiot wrong. 2. You are hot. Not necessarily in that order and I used “you are” properly unlike some Bostonian.
And 1 new thought. Could he be the Craigslist dude?
I don’t think he is the craigslist dude. One can never know though. Thank goodness they got him.
What is I agree to pick it up? Then will you make me a cake?
Welcome JQ…and yes I will.
Apocalexa Now. Scene 1.
[voiceover] Saigon… Shit, I’m still only in Saigon… Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in DC. When I was home in Rhode Island after I ended my first blog, it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing. I hardly said a word to my husband, until I said “yes” to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was blogging and whoring. I’m here a week now… waiting for clients and ideas for posts… getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Rachel Ray yammers on the television, she gets stronger. Each time I looked around the walls moved in a little tighter.
Everyone gets everything she wants. I wanted my own cable TV show about cooking and whoring, and for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice show, and when it was over, I’d never want another.
Apocolexa Now! Oh dear God, Hammer…you make me laugh.
Holy cow!!!! This letter is really worth saving. Does he have any idea what he is doing to your ego by showing you how much he needed to tell you this? Really, you must have made a serious number to this guy if he is so hurt that he feels the need to write this stuff….
I don’t know him! He just read and apparently I did SOMETHING to him with my words, my whorish words.
Dick.
If I win, I want to have dinner when Josh and I are in DC in October. Thanks!
This sounds like a lovely plan.
Does hysterical laughter count as commentary? Kinda? Hmm, maybe a haiku for good measure:
Ironic question,
If “nard-wit” should be one word
Or hyphenated?
Dang, these things are like potato chips. Can’t do just one.
On the great Ron Scale,
Some lovely cooks are Less Ron;
I’d say he’s More Ron.
I think nardwit is one word, though could be wrong. It has happened before.
I never get mail as good as that. I’m doing something wrong. Do you suggest more cleavage on my blog?
I find more cleavage is the solution to many things.
I just snorted the dregs of my coffee at “nardwit”. I think someone said something douch-ey to me as I boarded the metro this morning (I wasn’t QUITE standing all the way to the side to let the 2 people get off the train onto a not-crowded platform in the burbs), but I didn’t really hear it. I had that delayed, did he just say…? I spent the next 6 stops thinking should I go ask him what he said and then proceed to look like an insane person and get into an argument with him on the metro? I decided no. But I’m still WTF about it. The point of my story is that haters are bullshit. Everyone bitches, everyone has opinions, but to reach out and put that hate out into the world is a truly fruitless endeavor. Way to live your life, assholes.
However, his love letter to you was unintentionally hilarious. Thank you for sharing, and happy 200,000.
And something totally random…I’ve been looking for an awesome breakfast potatoes recipe, so if you have any starches of wisdom, please share!
Seriously. I read some blog posts where I think people are idiots or not very educated. I either skip over it or try to present my view somewhat respectfully.
As far as breakfast potatoes go, I can do that! I am a fan of using red bliss potatoes, cubing them up and boiling for just a few minutes. You want them a little firm. While they boil, soften a whole lotta onions, peppers, a clove of garlic, salt and pepper in a pan. Add the potatoes and some paprika and cook for about 15 minutes.
oh man. this makes me want to have a public blog just to get comments like this.
hilarious! thanks for sharing.
He really sees who I am as a person.
For what it’s worth, I think you always come off respectful, based on what I read. Respectful but honest, which you don’t see as often anymore - in blogs, in life.
Thanks for the recipe!
Why thanks, Carrie. That is a great compliment.
Apparently too much time on my hands.
There once was a boy with no name
Who was rejected for his game
So then he wrote hate mail
Because he so wanted that female
Now he is in her hall of shame
Zing! Love it.
(617): Sent another love note to my blog girlfriend. Think she’s starting to turn away from me. Just like my last girlfriend from Canada…
Ha!! Perhaps my French Canadian roots make it even more painful for him?
Wow, douchebag much? I view his letter as being completely and utterly envious of how awesome you are.
Because you are. And your hair? Is fantabulous!
Why, thanks…and the day I met you it was a bad day. Are you just kissing my ass for baked goods? I am ok with that, btw.
That letter is really just fantastic. I can’t take any guy seriously who a) calls himself a stud, and b) well, just has douchiness seeping out of every word he writes.
I’m so glad you shared this.
My question is this: how could I NOT share this?
Lemmonex may be
Wise in many areas
Love, food, mens’ pantwear
But silly, dumb girl
Still thinks that Night Ripper is
Girltalk’s best album
I know a few things about mens’ pants…and Night Ripper is the best. Don’t you dare question me.
Oh Glory be Lem!
Personification of
shiksa sex appeal.
And back into retirement I go.
Doug! Thanks for popping up. I can always count on you for a shiksa comment.
Hey! I thought you said you wouldn’t show my emails to everyone!
ps your hair IS awesome.
I know, I have violated our trust and I hope you forgive me.
This was great- man how come no one hates me this way. Must be because there is just not as much to envy. I’m so glad you shared but you know if he still checks back he is so totally going to take this as a “yes she is still stuck on me”.
Yea, I am ok with that.
Wow- I read this and teared up! What a loser. Sucks to be him.
Now I am sending you the meanest email I have ever received because, believe me, it WILL make you feel better!!
Yeah, really does suck…poor guy.
I heard the hookers in Saigon turned him down too.
Something about staying away from the Super Douche.
Welcome Mr. Officer…I guess he can’t get no love. poor guy.
Oops, don’t have your email. Just know that lots of people dig your style and you don’t need some loser like that anywhere near your fab life.
Thanks so much. It is culinarycouture (at) gmail (dot) come, btw.
I can’t believe you published my comment without telling me. Jesus.
But for realiz, I think the back handed compliment from musty balls would have been better, you know what I mean.
Oh, musty balls. Forgot about that letter…good memory, my friend.
“Apparently you think I’m “an insecure man” ” Insecure? Yes. Man? No.
“and that’s unattractive to you. ” Well, duh!
“This saddens me. ” Yikes.
I suppose he used “Saigon hooker” because “Ho Chi Minh City hooker” sounds kind of awkward.
“Then, there is the matter of us being in the same industry. Well, me at least.” This makes no sense.
If he has been published, it’s been on the front page of his own blog (or, perhaps, his mother’s blog). Personal ads in the back of a “national magazine” don’t count, either.
I doubt this guy is even 23 years old. He probably added a few to sound “grown up”. A true adult would know better than to send something like this.
Alright, I’ve spent far too much time on this.
Have a great day!
Hey, Kelley, and welcome. Also, I agree. I would guess he is 18.
Lol! Darling, I truly do not know what to say. I mean seriously, I do not understand the mentality of these individuals. This is the archetype of weak. He is probably the type of individual to start a fight in a bar and then press charges on the guy that beats his ass.
On a different note, I am seriously jealous of Maxie’s ability so see everybody’s boobs. I want her super power.
Oh, and will you marry me? It’s been a while since I have asked.
maxie sweet talked me-I did a dance.
Hm, how big is the ring? I am a size queen.
Two hundred thousand
A goal of magnificent
Proportion for Lem
As someone who worked in the newspaper industry I can say with some authority:
Twenty-three year old
Headline: Get me coffee boy
Then pick up laundry
It must be a fascinating world he lives in between his misshapen dwarf-like ears.
And don’t forget lunch while you are at it!
Wow, I think Hammer should get a few brownies or something just for coming up with that…”blogging and whoring”, indeed.
Plus, I tried to re-engage this fellow, but you know what? [email protected]? I think it’s a fake email address…and I hate to say it, but I think he was trying to insult you at the same time.
Damn his evil and superior mind!!
I have already commended Hammer profusely via email.
And dammit!! Is that why my emails are bouncing?
She even got a dance!!! man.
You could totally skate on it. Hope you like blue diamonds!
Size queen? This tells me many things. Invitation is still open, as long as you are cool with Elvis in Vegas doing the ceremony.
If the blue diamond if there, I am down with Elvis.
I want to hate this guy, but how can I after he’s given such a fabulous gift of unintentional hilarity?
(With apologies to Carly Simon)
You wrote out your e-mail, and you gave it lots of thought
You bragged about your bank balance
It seemed a bit overwrought
You had your insults all planned out, and grammar to be taught,
To show that girl that you were so clever,
So very clever, well-
“youre(dot)gay,” you prob’ly think this blog is about you
“youre(dot)gay,” I bet you think this blog is about you
Don’t you? don’t you?
You tell us that you’re such a stud. You sounds a bit over rated.
And your clever “Saigon Hooker” line
Is maybe a tad bit dated.
But despite the Viet-nam era smack
You claim that you’re twenty three?
If I had to guess, I’d bet you’re a liar
Pants are on fire and
“youre(dot)gay. . . ”
In a million years I could never be this clever. This is truly fantastic.
um, yeah. . .verse two should begin “you sound a bit overrated,” since I know that overrated is one word. Why would it be two? It’s hard to type sneakily and get your spelling right at the same time.
I didn’t even notice. Seriously, I was laughing too hard.
So I’m guessing that his front page articles were on the front page of his school newspaper…or quite possible a weekly in some podunk town where the average reading level is 3rd grade. Aside from that who even uses the word “stud” when being serious? A stud? Really? He couldn’t come up with something better than stud? I am tempted to think he was joking because my brain is having trouble comprehending that anyone would seriously send something like this.
I thought the word stud died in 1988. Apparently not with certain people.
I’ll side with Lemmy
And debate B on Girl Talk
I love Night Ripper
Anyway, this dude’s on the Overcompensation Express to Insecureville via Smallpenisfield. If my mom taught me anything other than “promiscuity can be fun if you use protection,” it’s know when to pick your battles. Clearly this guy never got that lesson.
(Also, jordanbaker clearly has a lucrative song writing career ahead of him)
Please school him! He is so wrong. I need a band of Night Ripper lovers. And yes, she sure does. Magnificent.
“Dear Lem…blah blah blah bank acount…blah blah stud..blah blah….front page stories…blah blah….out of your league..blah blah blah…CALL ME!”
That’s what I got out of that.
Pretty much what I got too.
the most magnificent piece of mail that I have received in the past (almost) two years
what? this must mean that you never got my hate mail. it was quite the letter. what’s more it was written on a piece of dried poo (like those meat business cards) and sented with coconut.
i can’t believe you didn’t get it… it took me forever to dry that poo.
Lance, you are seriously gross…but A for effort.
Saigon prostitute
just means he wants to travel
your Ho Chi Minh trail
Wants to show you his
“freelance pieces,” but sadly
has a short “byline”
But really,
Two hundred thousand
haters, lovers, whatevers,
we all want a spoon
And I want a spoon! It works out so well.
I think the hate mail’s been covered plenty, so can we just talk about how AMAZING GirlTalk is?
Seriously love it.
Welcome Emily…I really do love him. I mean, it is total junk food for the brain, but who doesn’t love junk food.
One of the greatest dissappointments of my life is that my blog has yet to inspire any hatemail. I would love to be berated by an internet tough guy.
Maybe if I became a male hooker…..
People are quite tough through the tubes.
Wow. Just wow. I think he had too much coconut. With emphasis on the nut.
Yep, doubled up on the nuts.
Based on the letter’s content, and his glaringly obvious desire to wound your ego, I’d wager my bank account’s entire contents that that you hurt him waaaayyy more than he could hope to hurt you. So in the relationship game, you win!!
Lemmonex-1, douchenozzle-0
P.S. He was prolly just jealous of your beautiful hair anyway. It would have cast a shadow over the entire relationship.
Seriously? How can one compete with the hair?
I just thought of the question I’ve always wanted to ask you but didn’t even know it!
What does your kitchen look like? I’d love to see pictures of where all this goodness comes from.
Yay! Best question ever!
Oh, that is a good one. I will take one soon.
oh my god… i would have posted his email address though.
He used a fake, sadly.
Bummer.
For reals.
I would Bangkok a girl’s Saigon in about 4 seconds.
the @youre.gay is awesome. I’m stealing it.
You can have it.
ok two thoughts:
1. If he calls you gay (and we take him literally) then why did he want to sleep with you? He fails at logic.
2. At the high school we went to the motto was “Everybody is somebody”…Maybe we should have appended it “including the Saigon hooker”
Awesome pic by the way.
Hey Chris! Welcome. And this was a serious logic FAIL.
I love a guy that brings out the angry laugh in me… no seriously… the angry laugh is a scary thing… men generally know to run from it.
You, my friend, are my favorite Saigon hooker of all.
Oh, this warms my heart…I will take being your favorite anything, even a hooker.
there’s a lot i could say about that comment, but i also don’t want to give him any more attention then he deserves.
regardless, you have lovely lovely hair.
Why thanks…my hair is very flattered.
ooo - hey I forgot to ask earlier but it is really important I find out - is a Saigon Hooker more slutty than a French Whore? That was always my dad’s favorite i.e. “you are not leaving the house in that you look like a French whore” So I grew up thinking that French whores had the lock on total sluttyness. Now how am I supposed to know how to insult someone properly. Is there a sliding scale out there somewhere I should reference? Where does the garden variety all American “working girl” fall. Not nearly as slutty as the Saigon hooker or French whore I’m guessing but does she beat out a Spanish trollop?
I think it goes French Whore>Saigon Hooker>Spanish Trollop>American Working Girl.
I am totally hooked
And the hooker is lemmy
An amazing broad
I so shamefully love broad…thanks jman.
First of all, I’m a Saigon Hooker. Which is a brutal job since they changed the name of the damned city. And I think that French Whore is a special category all to itself. I mean, it hints at sexual deviance at levels that begger description.
My question: what is your kitchen tool geekiness level? Do you obsesses about pans and knives, or are you a simple chef’s knife and cast iron pan kind of girl?
I am pretty easy going. I mean, I have a really good knife and love my le creuset, but I am not a total snob. I think there are far too many gizmos out there. Does one really need an avocado scooper? I think not.
I just returned from
Barcelona. Glad I got
back in time to win!
If you need somewhere to go and be all sexy, you could do worse than Barcelona - it’s funky!
Your email correspondant sounds ever so slightly insecure - maybe he got rejected by a real Saigon hooker!
PS. Can I please win this time? I just want to get my hands on your goodies………
Tsk tsk. Dirty boy. And yes, I think he is insecure…just a little.
Am I too late? Who won? lmfao at the mail you got…
Hi flora…welcome. Nope, you made in on time.
I’m a lurker - but had to delurk to say that guy is a jerk! I’m flabbergasted. I’ve never read anything so pathetic and hateful and mean (so bad that it was actually hilarious!) in my life! I’m glad you didn’t take it seriously.
Also, lovely hair you have. And I’m not just saying that ’cause I want to win.
Welcome, Jaime. Even if you are lying, flattery gets you far!
I’m so confused as to how anyone could conjure up hate for you. It’s not even threatening (says the outside observer), just utterly laughable. Poor boy (I’m assuming it’s a boy) needs to eat. Clearly low blood sugar has fucked up his reasoning skills.
Carry on being your glorious self!
And I think LiLu is on to something with that road trip idea.