As we get older we find ways to cope with those things-and those people-that have hurt us. Self-effacing jokes are made, drunken outings are planned and memories are pushed down to a dingy and dank places in our hearts that we rarely visit. Of course the pain never goes away, but we cope. You know it shapes who you are and, hell, if you prescribe the the “Eat, Pray, Love” view of the world, you even begin to believe they make you a better person.
These scabs, though…we do our damdest to not pick at them. While physical scars may make for a good party trick or impress our dates, the emotional wounds are best hidden. Ripping them open and revisiting the initial hurt is not a place we should return. It may itch and look disgusting but we do our best to leave it alone, let it heal in peace. Of course we may have weak moments where we pull at the edges, but it is best let be.
Of course, we cannot control the actions of others. Outside elements are always the wildcard in these situations. Sometimes something or someone will remind you of the hurt and all the pain comes rushing back. We see it isn’t quite healed; the injury is still there. More times than not it is the initial perpertrator of the damage, coming back for one last word, desperately trying to get under your skin once again.
But we have a choice. We’ve been there, we know what it feels like. The past hurt serves as an armour, an alarm bell to avoid the danger. Sure, phantom pains are felt but we are smarter, wiser. Scars may be hot on a bicep, a face, a chest, but they ain’t so good looking on our hearts. We know it, we’ve learned it, and we walk away now that we can see things clearer after the initial dizzying haze.
Carrots, full of vitamin E, are great for your eyesight and have the added bonus of tasting really great when roasted. This is barely a recipe at all. Just mix together a few tablespoons of olive oil and a few tablespoons of honey. Toss some carrots with the oil mixture and a pinch of salt and some pepper. Roast at 450 degrees for about an hour. When they come out of the oven sprinkle with more salt. I used a pink Himalyan salt to finish things off and I really think it made a world of difference. These carrots are sweet and homey and serve as a perfect side to chicken or beef.
this was an excellent metaphor and something that i’m probably going to be thinking about all day.
what sucks for me though, is that i’m totally a picker. i need to have some self control to let the past wound heal.
Oh, I love to pick…but do my best to avoid it.
Those look really delicious — okay, so when you say “roast”, um, can I just throw those onto a baking pan and stick it in the oven? Or is there something important I’m missing?
Nope, a pan is fine.
The scars do heal. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but they go away eventually.
And it was lovely seeing you again on Friday!
You too-thanks so much for coming out.
…initial dizzing haze
Sound like me after all those drinks from two happy hours Friday.
Some of the best recipes are the simple ones. I always try to put my carrots cooking with my entree or in a salad. Never really thought of it as a separate “roast”.
BTW - nice to meet you the other night.
And it was nice to meet you-you didn’t seem dizzy at all, Tony.
From my time in the Army “only worry about what you can control”; it is so very true in many things.
Could not agree more, Player.
Yum! These look great. I would never have thought of using honey…
It really adds a nice layer of flavor.
I find your emotional scars incredibly sexy, my love.
And good for you.
Xoxo
Can you lick my scars? I find that hot.
i pick scabs until they bleed…then get a scar. it’s so addicting that i can’t help it.
It can be fun, but in the long run…not so good.
Lets get funny again. I like funny better. Especially on a Monday.
Well, I do write only for you, dear.
it’s when those emotional scars come unleashed when we’re least expecting it that truly sucks.
and im not a cooked carrot kind of girl?, but these suckers look yummy.
Yep-no one likes a sneak attack.
I hope one day I can let go of the ugh feelings from my Cris scandal. I mean… he has a KID.. and I messed with his family and blah.
I’m not explaining myself well but I think you know what I’m referring to.
I do-you will eventually forgive yourself…you will.
The worst part about an emotional scar is that unlike a physical scar, you can’t see if it’s completely healed or at that stage where it can easily be torn. Then you’re just left to start all over again.
Could not have said it better myself.
I do my carrots just like this, but sometimes I throw a little curry powder on them as well to… as Emeril would say.. kick ‘em up a notch.
lol
Curry and the honey are a great mix. Good call.
Scars have shaped me, but it made me even harder. It’s the downside of it all.
But i do have a physical scar on my thigh, when people ask me how i got it. i tell them a shark bit me.
It is a downside I know well.
I have a huge scar on the back of my neck; I tell people I was shot.
The thing about carrots is no matter how they’re cooked, raw is still the best.
Peter
I knew you would say that.
I actually happen to have some carrots, and now I’m inspired to cook them…
As for the scars, I’m still waiting for them to form. I’m in need of clarity these days.
I have some liquid bandaid—might I send some?
I love oven-roasted carrots (I usually mix them with potatoes) but have never tried them with some honey … I might need to do that, like tonight.
As for emotional scars, I totally agree with you that as horrible as it is to have to go through something for those scars to set in, they do armour the heart nicely. In my case, sometimes too much, but what can you do?
Believe me, it is a tough balance I know all to well.
Hmmm, just what kind of ish went down at last Friday’s HH?
Oh you are funny.
And the wild card always seems to creep up on you when you least expect it, making that sneak attack of emotions all the worse. I hope this tough spot passes quickly, and you feel better soon!
(Side note, it was really good to see you Friday — next time, I’m going to maul you and force you to spend more time with me. Fair warning…)
I have been warned…very sorry we did not get to talk more, darling.
i have several huge scars and i tell people i was mauled by a bear! yay!
and the thing about scars (either variety) is they will always, at the very least, feel different even when they’re healed.
Heya, Becky, welcome. I love that response.
It’s in times like these that I remember the wise and sage like words of Keanu Reeves.
“Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory… lasts forever. ”
Keanu is a very wise man.
I too have many scars and yes the emotional ones hurt the worst. Like getting hit repeatedly with a cast iron frying pan.
BTW- I did have a great time and it was very nice to meet you. Hang in there!
Oh, I am fine. Sometimes when I pontificate, I am just pontificating. And you too, jp!
Even the invisible scars still seem tangible, somehow. And that means (though much less perfectly than physical scars) I can cover them when I want to and show them off when it works for me.
And just because the wound still hurts, doesn’t mean it hasn’t healed. Some things we’re just not supposed to forget because they’re turning points that remind us what direction we’re going.
They are a compass, it is true.
oh, and how did i forget? it was cool to finally meet you Friday, and hilarious how the ShamWOW/Vince/Scientology article you sent led to a frantic iPhone circle jerk in search of the infomercial on youtube.
It was great to meet you and also…I love that you said circle jerk. Just sayin’.
As someone who refers to herself as a walking, talking piece of scar tissue (really, I have more than I can even count), I can affirm that scars change you. The first one makes you super self-conscious, the second one a little less so, and on and on. At some point, they become a crucial part of you, to the extent that you know you wouldn’t look-or feel-the same without them.
The underlying wounds still nag and hurt, but once they are healed, they shape you into an imperfect yet whole person. That person is beautiful not in spite of her scars, but because of what she was strong enough to endure to get them.
I cannot wait to see you, bj. I miss you and love you.
You are flawed perfection, Kitten. Remember that whole, “It made me who I am…I’m glad it happened” thingamajig we were talking about yesterday, or did the champagne give you a blackout? You also bought yourself a piece of floaty hotness, which is very my favorite kind of bandaid.
God, that dress…I want to have a love affair with it.
With carrots, the crunchy texture is equally as good - if not better - than the flavor. By cooking them you lose that crunchiness.
Peter
I know, I know…but different strokes.
The layers of scabs and scars, while painful and maybe not so pretty, add an extraordinary amount of depth. We obviously don’t choose them in the first place, but we wouldn’t be nearly as complex and intriguing without them.
Yes, and no one wants to be shallow.
Ok, what really happened friday night? This time I did not go to the wrong “bourbon”. I went instead on a bad date.
For the love of Christ. I actually have other things in my life besides blogging.
Scars are easy to remember, because they leave something physical (either real or metaphorical) for us to ruminate on. They sometimes limit our movement or mind, or trash a nerve, causing a loss of sensation forever. They can mar, or be innocous reminders of something gone wrong (only to be shown or discussed in privacy).
It’s forcing yourself to look past the markers of a scar to the ephemeral memories of happiness that is harder. A perfect moment in the kitchen, discovering true love, children playing; whatever brings pleasure. Those moments don’t leave a reminder. But they imprint on you just as deeply.
Anyhoo….
I’ve never added the honey. I would think it would overaccentuate the natural sweetness of the carrots. Normally do the oil and thyme thing. Will have to try.
It is hard when the scar tarnishes the good stuff.
Do you need me to kick someone’s ass? Cuz I’ll do it! I’m short but I’m scrappy. Well anyway, I hope blog crush happy-hour was a blast.
We had a good time-I am going to post a recap later this week!
I have a huge scar on the back of my neck; I tell people I was shot.
To quote the great philosopher Paris Hilton, “That’s hot”. Yes, a actually find that attractive…the scarring, not the shot thing.
Whatever caused this event for you, it seems you are on the path to recovery. The one thing that bad thoughts cause is greater strength to get through the valleys of life. I’ve been through enough shit to believe it, otherwise there is no point in being here.
I love men with scars-LOVE THEM-so I think it is attractive as hell.
I usually do butter and tarragon for roasting carrot - I’ll have to give this a shot.
It is a nice change of pace.
Oh you are funny.
Well as long no one was stabbed. I’ve been stabbed with a goddamn boning knife and I was not cooking. Not cool. Got a cool scar from it though. Occassionally chuckle from the irony of it.
It seems you have dated some psychos, DF.
It seems you have dated some psychos, DF.
Yes, a woman was involved but she was not the one that stabbed me. Her boyfriend did and in my defense, it was a case of mistaken identity. I honestly didn’t know who the girl was and never met her before that fateful night. Wish I did though, she was hot and it would have made the stabbing soooo worth it.
If you are gonna get stabbed, it better be worth it.
I like the funny entries, but it was wonderful to read this. It’s good to know clarity comes, I’m not sure it has for me yet.
Here’s to hoping.
I try not to get serious too often but I am glad it doesn’t scare everyone away.
Aww man, I know that feeling. Sometimes I think (at least I was this way at one point) that people have to really get in there and dig - get really really hurt before they realize that some of the pain they’re feeling might just be in their own actions. And dammit doesn’t that suck? But I think there’s a lot of clarity in that as well. Sort of a pressing of our own buttons and knowing of our own limitations sort of thing. Does that make any sense?
Also, I’m curious if you think roasting these carrots deletes all the nutritional value out of them? This recipe looks easy and like something I would really enjoy (so really - I don’t care if there’s minimal “good-for-ya” value left but I was just thinkin’ on it.)
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Re nutrition-it is not as healthy as a raw carrot but some of the nutritional value is definitely preserved. When I made the roast chicken last week I served these carrots and a salad-the carrots were the starch and this seems a much healthy option that mashed potatoes or rice.
Of course the pain never goes away, but we cope
And that is how it goes. It surfaces when we least want it and hides when we want to wallow in it. The pain shapes us and forms us into who we are today. I don’t regret the pain, but I do regret the loss.
Distance has been a funny thing for me. Distance from the pain that caused the scars, I mean. Because at first, time was what I needed to heal at all, but now that I’m healed I wonder if I’ll forget the poignancy of the lessons all together.