The Oscars are over and I know the world was talking about it yesterday but it is only today that I can summon the personal strength and inner courage to discuss it.
I cannot believe Mickey Rourke lost to Sean Penn. Look, I know Mr. Rourke should just be happy to finally have work again, that he should be basking in his critical acclaim. Also, as my friend Waspy Wasperson astutely observed on Sunday night, he already had a comeback a few years back with “Sin City”…but pointing that out kinda of ruins the Comeback Kid element of “The Wrestler”. I was wicked pissed, though. I really thought “Milk” was a disappointment. Sure, Penn was decent, but he couldn’t touch Rourke with a ten foot pole. I promised Irish Lebowski and Waspy that I wouldn’t burn their apartment down if he lost, but I did manage to knock my soda over in protest.
There was some good, happy, fuzzy feelings during the Oscars despite the Academy’s attempts to break me. Some of these feeling can even be attributed to the show, not the full box of Tagalongs in front of me as I sat on the couch. I loved Marisa Tomei’s whole look. I found Tina Fey smoking hot in that silver dress; I am glad she finally tried another color other than black and also proved, once again that funny women can also be sexy as hell. I was charmed by a few of the acceptance speeches. Even though I found the opening montage a bit much, I could not help but smile every time Wolverine came on screen.
The one thing I didn’t really “get” was the “Pineapple Express” spoof for the comedy package. Though I can admit I chuckled a bit, I just really did not like the movie. I mean, sure, it is not the epically bad “Milk Money“, but I just was not entertained. The last scene seemed to last an eternity and the humor just didn’t resonate with me. They weren’t lovable losers, they were just…losers. Why didn’t I get this? We all know I can have the humor of a 14-year-old boy. Is it because I don’t smoke/like pot? Seriously, someone try to make me get this movie in a way that doesn’t end with me smoking a joint. (A doobie? A roach? What are you kids calling it?)
The only thing I “get” about pot is it gives you an excuse to eat some really crappy/delicious foods. I have a friend who would pick all the marshmallows out of a box of Lucky Charms when high. This is something I can get behind but I don’t think I need to partake in illicit substances to eat total garbage. I mean, I made a cake in a mug in the microwave, people. Oh, yeah…and I liked it. I would never serve this to guests or even eat this on the regular, but this was way better than it had any business being. It was moist and the chocolate flavor was pretty decent. I made this when I had a friend over and we happily smothered it in whipped cream and berries and had at it.
Yes, I know this is wrong, but so is “Pineapple Express”. We all have our vices. Leave me alone.
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Burnout Cake
From Dizzy Dee
4 Tablespoons cake flour
4 Tablespoons sugar
2 Tablespoons cocoa
1 Egg
3 Tablespoons milk
3 Tablespoons oil
1 Mug
Instructions:
Mix flour, sugar and cocoa in the mug. Crack in egg and add milk and oil. Microwave for three minutes. Let set and pop out of mug.
No worries, love. That’s just extra thick cocoa, which makes the microwave totally okay. All it needs are some of the Lucky Charms marshmallows… dibs on the rainbows.
I want the clovers.
I’d like to leave you alone, but this would have been the perfect way to introduce a recipe for upside down pineapple cake.
Then again, who wants to eat that sugar overload? Pineapple itself it a good enough dessert.
I am sorry my segue has failed you. I promise to do better next time.
Isn’t segue a great word? Don’t you feel erudite and sophisticated using it? And why has its foreign (french, spanish?) pronunication survived when so many other less complicated looking words have not? For that matter why is a league not a leegway? Don’t you love the consistency of the English language?
The cake and whipped cream look pretty tempting, but strawberries, like pineapple and grapefruit, are in the “we’re not really a food, we just fool a great number of people” category. Next thing I know you will tell me there is a soupcon of cumin in there.
jman, you are the pickiest eater! Strawberries are a food. That being said, segue is a great word, I do agree with you there.
Wolverine won me over with the last line of the opening song, about him being wolverine. I enjoy the self referencial. But the man loves to sing and dance. Remember Viva Laughlin?
I just had to IMDB “Viva Laughlin”. Man, he does like to boogie, doesn’t he?
Segue is a great word, I would have used it, but I would have spelled it “Segway” like the people mover.
You don’t have to do better. So many others fail so badly, I’m happy to get easy recipes from you and good segues, if that’s the plural version. Damn, should have paid more attention in English class.
Ha, thanks, but you don’t need to kiss my ass. I do appreciate it though…
Is cake flour a necessity here, or will regular flour serve as a reasonable facsimile?
Oh you can use regular flour. I think I did. it is a cake in a freaking mug, yo. Nothing too classy.
I think this is my favorite recipe yet. Cake in a mug—doesn’t get much better than that.
It is haute cuisine here, hannah.
I liked Wolverine’s opening number. But that thing he did with a very poorly-outfitted Beyonce was too painful to watch.
The Pineapple Express bit was one of the Oscar highlights for me, particularly the James Franco stoner watching the James Franco homosexual on screen. Genius.
OK, I didn’t think Beyonce’s outfit was that bad. Maybe I am high?
You didn’t like PE the movie, or the PE short film in the Oscars? (or both)
The movie was a huge disappointment - it was nothing like the trailer (which looked fantastic - one of the best trailers ever made).
The short film was funny to me. Laughing at all the inappropriate moments…
I didn’t like the movie, hence didn’t really love the bit. And THANK YOU PHIL for agreeing with me. Everyone tries to convince me how awesome the movie was.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A doobie?!
haaahahahahahaha
Ok. Ok.
I’m ok.
I swear.
Wait.. yes. Ok. good.
I <3 you.
but it’s like i mentioned the other day - you practically have to have been a full time pothead to catch half of the jokes that were sort’ve.. under the radar. And me? I LOOOOOOOOOOVED the Pineapple Express. I damn near busted a gut laughing…
Ganga? Is that better? That is what they called the weed in Jamaica.
Yes the movie was borderline false advertisement - completely different than the trailer. Very few laughs - Danny McBride was the only thing I liked about the movie.
DM was the best part, I agree.
See, I didn’t get the PE short film either. But then again, I didn’t see the real movie so perhaps that was my first problem. You know who really annoyed me? Stupid ass Ben Stiller. Get over yourself, dude. I just thought his whole schtick was ridiculous and not even remotely funny.
But cake in a mug isn’t something I would ever laugh at. AND, even more so because all of my mugs are those fantastically over-sized Starbucks monsters. WuWho!! =-)
Yeah, I think the Joaquin Phoenix jokes was played out.
Hahaha, awesome. This is the perfect thing for those days when you really want some cake but don’t want any trouble. I love it.
I am doing the people’s work here.
Auuuuuuugh, my mother sent me this recipe a few weeks ago. I feel like cake that I can make this easily just has DANGER written all over it.
Go for it. Seriously.
Do any straight men watch the Oscars?
I did see the Wrestler and thought it was great. I didn’t see Milk ’cause I’m not interested in watching gay dramas. Sounds homophobic I know but I can’t relate to the characters, don’t want to, and its gross to see homosexuality played out on screen. Guys kissing and shit. Ugh!!! Please spare me. Hollywood is full of gays which is why they likely prefer movies about their lifestyle.
DF! It is about more than gay drama.
I’m straight and would’ve watched the Oscars as usual had this not been the year I saw less movies than ever before.
So instead I watched 6 weeks worth of 30 Rock. Because Tina Fey is brilliant. And not sexy in the “wouldn’t be if she wasn’t funny” way. But in the, you know, sexy way.
Yeah, she is just straight up sexy.
The only thing wrong is that misplaced apostrophe in the lede. Oscar’s what? Oh, and the fact that you even watch that Hollywood suckfest that is the Academy Awards is rather wrong, too. But microwaved mug-cake is never wrong.
Did I ever say I was right? I fixed my typo-thank God I have you guys to point out all my mistakes. It keeps me humble.
doobieeee do be doooo
I do not, have not, and am unlikely to ever give a Good Good Damn about “comeback performances” or related nonsense. As far as I’m concerned - and according to how the votes are balloted, if not cast - it’s about specific works. You get the award because the aging makeup was amazing, not because people are sentimental about the prosthetic nose company you started during the Depression. That Rourke already did something notable as a comeback role doesn’t diminish his great work in The Wrestler a whit, and holy crap was it better than Milk.
But then again, it’s a long-established joke that to get Oscar’s attention it’s best to do something involving handicapped people (preferably mentally), long-settled social problems, or once-oppressed minorities. Pity it’s not just a joke.
Stupid Academy. Pass the cake, would ya?
“You have to go full retard”.
Cake in a cup? Microwaveable cake?
Genius, woman! There’s a million dollar idea. Call Betty Crocker!
And it is good! Good microwaveable cake!
Hell, even my pothead roommate didn’t really “get” the spoof. That said, I’d still tap James Franco.
Franco is pretty hot, but you know my heart really belongs to Javier Bardem.
Come on DF, it’s not a gay drama. It’s a gay Commie drama. Let’s keep these things straight, as it were.
There’s a lesbian bar in San Diego called Milk. Good times.
I love commies. I love gays. I did not love Milk.
i’m glad i’m not the only one who didn’t get the pineapple express humor. i get it they’re high and stupid…but for the whole movie that’s the only plot?
Pretty much, yes.
Mickey was robbed, but frankly I thought Benjamin Buttons was done the biggest injustice. Slumdog Millionaire was “okay”, but best picture? Come the fuck on!
I didn’t see Benjamin Button or Slumdog (I know, I know) so I cannot really speak to it. But MICKEY WAS ROBBED.
Cake in a mug in the microwave? In scant minutes? It is seriously like you are magic.
You make me blush.
oh, this kind of easy bake cake thingy is something i can get behind now and then. yum.
Easy peasy, baby.
we both want to get behind things? that’s what she said?
Darling, I am withholding comment on this one.
How the hell was Milk a disappointment??? The Wrestler was better??? I don’t know. I thought the exact opposite. I thought the plot of the Wrestler was one of the most cliched ever. I just kept thinking, “so this happens next” and then it did. Yeah, it was more about the characters, but that’s no excuse for a paper thin plot.
We are in a fight over this one my friend. To the death!
Milk had too many dropped plot elements and the ending was about the most over wrought thing I have ever seen. You are wrong.
I luv the recipe. I am not a pot smoker. I eat enough as it is. I did think the Pineapple Express spoof was funny. James Franco is yum.
JF is yum, but not my type. Kinda skinny, no?
SD, good point. Commie’s every last one of them under a movement we shall dub the Film Actors Great Society aka FAGS.
Raquel, since when do girls “tap” guys? OK, so I heard trannys can do it but seriously. To tell you the truth I thought you meant “tip” as in you would only let James Franco put the tip in.
It always comes to this, doesn’t it?
Oh man! I cannot wait to try microwave cake in a mug! Awesome!! And I haven’t seen Pineapple Express or The Wrestler, but I did really, really love Milk. Bawled my eyes out. the part about the Oscars I didn’t get was the Awful musical montage. I mean seriously, I hated it.
I can do without Beyonce singing “At Last” ever again.
I am a straight man who will watch the Oscars, as I do enjoy movies, but I will readily admit that the Oscars is the “Gay Super Bowl”.
You are probably right.
holy shit, what a fucking great cake idea!
(sorry for the cursing, i guess i really liked the cake)
You can curse…have at it.
I prefer Marisa Tomei’s style in The Wrestler to her dress at the Oscars - I mean she looked great - but how does Hollywood not get how far nudity will get you? Thats why I blog naked.
She looked really used in The Wrestler, though.
I had heard just the other day that you could make a cake in a coffee mug. Your timing is truly impeccable.
We should go on food dates when I move back to DC for the summer.
Yes we should.
HAHAHA the Pineapple Express was one of my faves as well…but I think it is because I not only get-but use-stoner humor.
I enjoy “partaking”. I miss smoking. What can I say? I love stoners!
I “get” stoners. I have always been around them…and I just would always prefer a puff to a drink.
Male boozers are what make me ill and cokeheads turn my stomach. Any guy that has a booze problem automatically turns me off. We all have our things
PLUS-I love you, but Beyonce…holy sweet jeebus….that dress was the worst cut, color, style, everything.
Women needs a mirror. She is NOT working shit…
No no, i meant the red unitard type thing, not the god awful dress. I should have been more clear.
PS I want that cake. NOW.
I can make it for you the next time I see you, babe.
HAHAHHAHA. OMG I was worried for a minute and I should have known better. Phew. PHEW.
I will admit that I agree about the unitard-Sasha Fierce has worn WAY SCARIER on stage. WAY SCARIER.
You can trust in me, Kass!
you can serve me cake from a coffee mug any time! i’m not picky.
You are going to regret saying that.
I have a feeling I will spend the next week looking for the perfect situation that simply REQUIRES a small-ish chocolate cake IN FIVE MINUTES OR LESS, just so that I have an excuse to make this…MMMMMMmmmmM xoxo
Oh, and I didn’t like Pineapple Express either. And it’s not because I don’t ‘get’ stoner movies because I LOVE Harold & Kumar.
And I loved Driving Miss Daisy. That’s a stoner movie, right?
I know! I liked “Half Baked”…something is not adding up.
In response to Peregrine John - what are you 12? No offense, but you must be pretty fucking naive to think that the votes cast are for the best performance or even that they represent a consideration of only that performance.
Shit, most of the voters don’t even see all of the movies nominated. They don’t have time to sit through everything, so the campaigns really do make a difference in who wins what. This ain’t Top Chef, champ. Previous performances are definitely considered.
The Oscars is not the ‘Gay Superbowl’ - have you heard of the Tony Awards?
That said. Microwaveable single-serve cake? I HEART YOU.
Welcome Ant…I heart you too.
Ant: yes, in theory that makes sense, but they don’t have a 4 hour pre-show where all they do is talk about outfits people are wearing at the Tony’s.
A very valid point.
yummmmmm. guess who is eating mug-cake tonight! i hated the whole pineapple express thing, too. on the laugh-o-meter i thought tina fey and steve martin were awesomely perfect together!
I am glad I am in good company.
I think that’s because no one watches the Tony’s
Stupid question, but i’m definitely a beginner in the kitchen. Do you beat the egg in the mug?
Hi Kim-welcome. Yes, beat the egg.