My friend Bitchy McSnarkster looked at me and started laughing.
“I cannot believe you came out with us”, he said, gesturing at the circle of gay men that surrounded us, “and wore that”, he said, as he pointed at the white vest I was wearing as a shirt.
I think I looked pretty damn cute. Seems some of the men did too; what is it with gay men and breasts? Can’t one imagine what they feel like? More gay men have felt me up in this lifetime than the straight ones.
Now, this outfit should not have surprised him. This is how I dress. I have an agenda when I put my clothes on, a message to send.
Bitchy knows better. A few months back I called him in a tizzy as I tried to pull together an outfit for a day date. Oh, the dreaded day date. How does one construct an outfit that could perhaps carry you in to the evening but still manages to be appropriate for such wholesome fun as a museum or a movie? I should have worn a burlap sack to this particular date, but one does not know this going in to these scenarios.
He listed off possibilities… “V Neck sweater?” “Don’t own one.” “Flat shoes?” “Only flats I own are sneakers or flip flops.” “Casual black pants?” “NOPE….Bitchy, THIS IS NOT MY LOOK.”
No matter how you dress me up I think I do alright. Hey, I’d rather have a look than be some cog in a machine. It is not like I am wearing vests to work sans shirt; there is a time and a place for everything. I just have a bit more of a liberal interpretation of what to don in most situations. I’m flexible, a chameleon.
Salmon is another one of those flexible creatures. No matter what you do to it, it is going to turn out pretty great. For instance, I wanted to add some ginger to this marinade but forgot it; the fish still turned out great. The lemon juice could be swapped for some OJ or rice wine vinegar and the sesame oil can be completely omitted. I have made this as simply as just using the soy saice, lemon, garlic and oil, while other times I have added red pepper flakes or mustard powder. Seriously, do this up however you like; you cannot make a mess of this.
Asian Salmon
3 TBSP low sodium soy sauce
juice from half a lemon
1 clove crushed garlic
1.5 TSBPS olive oil
1 TSBP sesame oil
1 TBSP honey
2 tsp olive oil
2- 3 oz salmon pieces
In a bowl, whisk together soy sauce through honey. Add salmon pieces and marinate for 30 minutes, turning several times. Preheat oven to 450. In oven safe saute pan, heat oil over medium high heat. Add salmon to pan and sear on each side for about 3 minutes. (Start by searing the non skin side first.) Place in oven and cook for 5 minutes. Serve immediately.
I’m not even sure I HAVE a style.
You should get one! Very helpful.
My kittens would adore that.
Me? I’m a tuna kinda gal.
PB & Tuna…
Gross, thanks for that reminder.
Why surprised at gay men and breasts? It is not as if that is an element in their usual sexual repertoir.
Sure, I get that, but they aren’t really interested, so…
Yes. What is indeed up with gay men and breasts? I had the same problem yesterday. Hrmph.
Well, you are pretty irresistible, k8.
You always look beatiful. Day dates are dreadful to dress for.
And I love salmon practically any way it’s served. Except overcooked.
Why, thanks Lisa…and they are absolutely the freaking worst to dress for. Impossible.
Ever since I described myself as “the love child of Holly Golightly and Dog The Bounty Hunter” I’ve been kind of tailoring my clothes that way. Little black dress… and a rat tail. Hahaha sexy.
Puke shells as well?
My mouth is currently watering.
So easy to make!
More gay men have felt me up in this lifetime than the straight ones.
My new mission in life is to rectify this situation. Heading to DC this weekend so be on the lookout for a man in all black with cupped hands.
PS Was the vest buttoned? Or maybe it was its color Senor Bitchy was referring to!
It was the cleavage. I would not walk around with an open vest…I am a lady!
I always wondered who Tom Jones was singing about. Thanks for solving this life long mystery for me - you’ve got style you’ve got grace!
It is about me, it is true.
If pretending to be gay will get me to feel more breasts… consider me the new Elton John.
How is your voice? I will need a rendition of Levon.
I have a pretty eccentric sense of style I guess, I favor hats and vintage finds, whenever we get dolled up to go out Josh looks at me with this bemused look on his face and says “well, it’s a look”
Which isn’t really a compliment, but to make up for it he makes some mean salmon. You’re right, it’s impossible to ruin. Thank god.
You always look really great-a very personal sense of style, which I appreciate. Mine tends to go for a more tailed look….lines.
mmm… never could really get behind salmon.
but your style is a win and you reminded me that i need more gay friends.
Thanks… and maybe you’d like my salmon?
Ooh, I make a similar one, only no honey. Miso paste in its place.
Miso is a great idea…see? Flexible!
oh i have a style. it’s called black, anything black.
Oh yes, my style relies heavily on black.
The gay feel-up comes from a combination of these facts: (1) loads of gay men like breasts anyway; (2) ain’t no telling which do or don’t without them telling you; and (3) they can get away with it.
Don’t know what they were on about, with the vest. I suspect you look delicious with a vest for a shirt.
I did! And your points are very valid.
Salmon is good, but only occassionally. You have to avoid farmed and go wild, which is not all that great in the cost department. It is a great canvas for various marinades/spices.
Gay men’s facination with breasts? Us straight men ask them to check it out so we have a great excuse to catch a look without the, “You’re a perv” look back at us.
BTW - glad this is a positive post today. The past couple of days got me slightly depressed.
I didn’t want to depress you. I thought yesterday was better. Sorry!
The suicide skit thing was a little off, but the rest about Vace was uplifting.
Apology accepted. After a get a look…
Naughty!
I have a vest sitting in my closet, just waiting to be worn. I don’t know that I would be so bold, though, to have it on its own.
Also, the salmon looks delicious, as does the side next to it. What’s that? Spinach?
Be bold, woman, be bold.
It is greens…I will post those soon.
I don’t think I’ve told you this before, but I love how seamlessly you transition into your recipes. I don’t know how you do it, but it always works so perfectly.
That is so nice, thanks so much. I honestly don’t know where it comes from either.
You should see me rock the vest no shirt look - sexy does not even being to describe it.
I hope to one day see this with my own two eyes.
What about breasts is not miraculous? Just look at them. But don’t get caught. The ladies don’t like that, apparently. Unless we’re wickedly handsome and/or charming.
I am a sucker for wickedly handsome men. Am I the only person who thinks we don’t use handsome enough? Guys are always described as cute or hot, but not handsome. I think handsome is the best one.
i have no style (unless “university of chicago” sweats are a style?), but i appreciate flexibility in all things. i fear sometimes that i’m super rigid, but then i think, hey, at least you’re looser than mom. sigh.
You always got to be looser than mom…
I’m from Oregon, so I have no style. At my senior prom the really “stylish” guys wore their black teevas with black socks. So much more appropriate than wearing the teevas with no socks. Enough said.
There has to be SOME style in Oregon…right?
Damn!
That salmon looks delicious. Many compliments to the chef.
Thanks. Appreciated.
Not in Eugene, Oregon. Evidence: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/photo_gallery.php
Um…wow. ok, you win.
i’d be willing to give your salmon a go.
I feel so special.
I would describe my style as a very large contribution to Ralph Lauren’s personal fortune.
Far worse looks, you preppy.
I often wear vests, sans shirt. Even with business suits.
And no man can resist breasts, gay or straight.
Sounds zexy.
My style is pantless.
Hey-O!
what, no pictures of you in the vest?
i hear you on the salmon. it is a great canvas for variations. my favorite is jalapeño marinaded with a tequila-lime, cream sauce. but your recipe looks great so i’ll give it a try.
A cream sauce…how decadent.
I’ve noticed that gay men think that the fact that they’re gay allows them to grope as many breasts as possible.
I wonder how many straight men hang out at gay bars just to grope a girl.
i like when people have their own style and just OWN it. I don’t even care how ridiculous a style is - if you are obviously owning it?
then hell to the yeah.
green mohawk? tight nutthugger jeans? white keds with black tights?!
it’s all okay in my book
you don’t own FLATS???? how do you live.