Culinary Couture

Posted in Jackassery | 26 Comments

26 Responses

1. on May 11, 2009 at 8:48 am Lost Artist

   Aww your voice is fabulous! You’ve got that adorable slight lisp thing going on that girl-voices do sometimes. You are too cute.
   
   I know; it is the slight lisp thing that kills me. I am already compared to Drew Barrymore enough. I don’t need to sound like her too!

   
   
2. on May 11, 2009 at 8:53 am k8

   God, you’re hot.

   That is all.
   
   Will you marry me, k8?

   
   
3. on May 11, 2009 at 8:58 am jman

   So if you marry k8 and I marry you is that the beginning of a chain marriage? Of course then someone would have to marry me - and that sound you hear is the sound of a chain breaking. Oh well, another contest entered another contest not won.
   
   Keep entering; you can’t win if you don’t play.

   
   
4. on May 11, 2009 at 9:14 am Matt

   Damnit!!! I cant see who won!!!
   
   It isn’t you…so sorry, friend.

   
   
5. on May 11, 2009 at 9:40 am hannahjustbreathe

   Hmph. I never win raffles. But, damn it, I keep trying!!!
   
   You must persevere and keep trying.

   
   
6. on May 11, 2009 at 9:45 am Phil

   Your voice is terrible when I don’t win.
   
   It really is…I need speech therapy.

   
   
7. on May 11, 2009 at 9:53 am Marie

   You are just adorable.
   
   You kids and your flattery-you just want baked goods.

   
   
8. on May 11, 2009 at 10:06 am brookem

   i cant wait to see more of this tonight on our date.

   that sounds dirty and i like it.
   
   I like it dirty. Slap my ass, baby.

   
   
9. on May 11, 2009 at 10:25 am Peregrine John

   Well sure I do - but I mentioned that after the last vid.

   You know what worked for me? About hating hearing my voice, that is? Seriously, almost everyone hates the sound of their own recorded voice at first. Got me some minor voiceover training. Speech training (meaning training to give speeches, not training to get a dog to bark on command) would have the same thing. What happened was that my usual, natural, horribly repeated tone patterns got broken up and varied, and some of that kind of habits were removed.

   I still hate how I sound, recorded - but at least the tonal patterns don’t make me cringe any more.
   
   Ugh, yeah…but I think if I am going to spend that kind of money I would rather get a stand mixer or something.

   
   
10. on May 11, 2009 at 10:29 am Maxie

    What were you listening to in the background? were you having a rap jamfest?
    
    Black Star…love them.

    
    
11. on May 11, 2009 at 10:41 am moderndomestic

    If only the walls of my tiny office weren’t so thin, I could actually watch your video without alerting the suspicion of my coworkers . . .
    
    I don’t say anything naughty.

    
    
12. on May 11, 2009 at 10:43 am PQ

    I <3 your voice.

    And your face.
    
    You are too kind.

    
    
13. on May 11, 2009 at 10:43 am Liebchen

    You sound great, but I know how you feel. I heard my own outgoing voicemail message for the first time in a while and I just cringed. Ugh.
    
    It is so painful to hear. I feel like I sound like I am 12-years-old.

    
    
14. on May 11, 2009 at 10:44 am apollocreed

    I’m going to see Black Star at the end of the month. I might die from excitement.
    
    I am insanely jealous, friend.

    
    
15. on May 11, 2009 at 10:51 am LiLu

    I like your voice better in videos when you’re laughing at my dancing.

    Is that weird?
    
    Nope, seems about right.

    
    
16. on May 11, 2009 at 11:25 am Peregrine John

    if I am going to spend that kind of money I would rather get a stand mixer or something.

    LOL Ok, I can see that. My training was admittedly in the service of my occupations, so the idea was for it to repay itself, but you can get pretty dang good, and really quick, speaking tips and such by joining Toastmasters, at a fraction of the cost of a single KitchenAid bowl. It’ll make you happier with yourself for a lifetime. ‘Course, so would the ice cream maker attachment.
    
    MMM, ice cream. Yes, please.

    
    
17. on May 11, 2009 at 12:24 pm DF

    I’m not gonna lie. Your voice sounded best when you said, “Congrats DF” last year.
    
    I know…ya can’t win every time, though.

    
    
18. on May 11, 2009 at 1:13 pm alexa - cleveland's a plum

    i wish i had a computer with an attached camera, it would make life so much easier.

    in other news, i don’t like that im not eric.
    
    But I will make treats this weekend!

    
    
19. on May 11, 2009 at 2:00 pm Big Money Tony

    Your voice is fine. You don’t want to hear mine when I’m singing. I could stop productivity because everyone would be holding their ears. So I’m saving the world and the economy by not participating in karoke.

    In other news, I have a stand mixer and ice cream maker attachment. Jealous?
    
    Incredibly jealous.

    
    
20. on May 11, 2009 at 2:22 pm f.B

    Not good at changing your behavior but good at apologizing for it…

    Hilarious. You gotta know your limits.
    
    Baby steps.

    
    
21. on May 11, 2009 at 3:48 pm Jazzyjeff

    Waaaaaaaaaaaa! I lose again……..

    Do all us losers at least get to see pictures of your goodies before you send them to eric? *crosses fingers*

    And I like your voice - that american accent is kinda hot!
    
    yes, there will be pics of the goodies, you dirty bird.

    
    
22. on May 11, 2009 at 5:20 pm rs27

    Blah blah, being hot, blah blah. Let’s get to the real point.

    Who the hell is Eric?

    Rigged!
    
    I don’t know Eric…all I know is he is the winner.

    
    
23. on May 11, 2009 at 5:51 pm Eric

    Hey, I’m Eric! I never win anything. Guess who’s buying a lottery ticket tonight…
    
    Congrats! I am emailing you now.

    
    
24. on May 11, 2009 at 11:23 pm schoolboy

    With all B/S set aside. Honesty to commence in 3…2…1…

    Its not your voice thats awfull, but the soulless stare you give off to the camera.

    I look at the video and I can just feel your eyes sucking my soul into an eternal abyss of sadness.

    Nonetheless i have to hand it to you, you cook for real (none of that microwave shit), and I do as well so your not all that bad.

    Cheers.
    
    Souless….why thanks Schoolboy. I think I was trying to suck someone’s soul out that was a bit nicer, but you will do.

    
    
25. on May 11, 2009 at 11:38 pm schoolboy

    I’m perfect for soul food. (No pun intended of course.)
    
    Uh huh…now be on your way.

    
    
26. on May 12, 2009 at 5:09 pm dan-E

    i grew up in los angeles and for moment i thought i was listening to some old girlfriends who lived in the valley. it’s cute, especially the way you hold out the last syllable before a pause. like when you say “hey guys it’s raffle time agaaiiin. this one is to celebraaate 200,000 page views which is awesooome.”

    not a bad thing, it just made me a little nostalgic.
    
    I have never heard the valley girl comparison….but hey, way better than soulless!!