Last night I was excited to walk home from the bar after a few drinks (2 drinks…seriously) with friends. The evening was lovely and the weather perfect. I was in a bit of a tizzy having just tussled with the folks at CVS -my third battle in as many days-but I was in a pretty great mood yesterday. It was just me, my iPod and the warm air sharing the sidewalk.
By popular demand
The traffic signal flashed “WALK” and I started to cross Connecticut Avenue; about 6 steps in to my journey across the street I noticed a white Jetta had run the light. For about 2 seconds, I felt pure, unadulterated terror. Those lights were headed for me and my stomach started to scramble in a way I hope I never feel again. As I pivoted quickly on my right foot, I lurched forward two large steps before my boot got caught in a divet on the road. I careened forward landing first on my left elbow; my right elbow took the rest of my weight. My left knee fell shortly after and finally my right hit the pavement. I stood up, tights torn and blood pouring down both arms. I came home and spent five minutes picking the gravel out of my wounds. Several bruises had already begun to form; in other words, I look incredibly alluring at this juncture. I laid in bed last night, every cell in my body throbbing. Yet, god dammit, I refused to shed a tear. It was a good day. It has been a great week. Also, for once, such an accident had nothing to do with my clumsiness or lack of coordination-someone else did this to me! Some bitch in a white Jetta would not open a storm cloud on my parade.
I kind of felt the same way while eating my desert at BLT Steak a few weeks back. Bitchy McSnarkster had brought me for a late birthday celebration and he let me choose a dessert to finish our meal. Flipping the script, I passed on the carrot cake and went for the banana cream pie. The crust was way too thick and pathetically bland. The pudding in the pie lacked in any depth of flavor and was far too runny. Inexplicably, it came with a very watered down chocolate sauce…not knowing what to do, we poured it all over the pie. There was a whole lot going on that plate without much to show for it; we were disappointed.
Yet, try as it did, the pie could not erase the meal that preceded it. The gratis popovers were warm, airy and everything one could hope for from a bread basket. The pate, also free, was also salty perfection. Our salads were appropriately dressed and crisp. I ordered the short ribs (of course) and did not regret it for a second. They were tender and bursting with flavor. Our asparagus was pretty typical, but cooked well. And our onion rings? Oh, sweet Jesus. A healthy dusting of salt covered the thick, heavenly batter. Though the batter was ample, the rings managed not to be greasy which was a respectable feat. The atmosphere was chic and laid back for a steak house. While not stellar, our service was respectable.
It was a great night with a bit of a disappointing ending. Worse things have happened, yes? I’d go back in a heartbreat, but just skip the wreck at the end.
At least you survived your brush with death or serious injury. Did anyone bother to lend you a hand to get you clear of the intersection? You are wise to continue to weigh the day in its totality.Heck given what could have been have you considered that maybe, just maybe you nailed the landing?
May your run of good days continue!
I am really stiff today but seeing as I truly thought I was going to get hit, I am looking on the upside. No one helped…
Could it have been the waiter disappointed at the size of the tip, driving the Jetta? Were you an unwitting character in some DC thriller? Nevertheless, there are two morals we can derive from your adventure - 1) when being wined and dined, stay in the moment and take a taxi and 2) you bruised and bleeding with torn tights still look better than 99% of the women perambulating the streets of DC (and no I am not referring to professional perambulators!) who have not been nearly run over. Glad you got home safe.
If you saw my left elbow you would not thank me hot, but thanks jman. I am not feeling my prettiest today.
So so so so so glad you’re okay.
Kisses.
Me too! And you got the honor of seeing the bad ass picture of my elbow.
I have voodoo dolls. They can be tweaked to resemble dumbass cows who run lights. Just saying.
Can I get it from you Saturday night?
I wish you’d gotten her plates so we could hunt her down. At least we can drink away your pain tonight *stroking hair*…
The answer is always alcohol…always.
Glad to hear you are OK. I can understand the tizzy with CVS. I managed stores for them during college. Some of my staff and co-workers were assholes.
…I look incredibly alluring at this juncture
You shouldn’t tease like that. Some (not me) prefer their women bruised. But I agree with jman, you probably are better than most in the agree.
Bruises and scars are hot…just on men.
I’ll bet it was that CVS pharmacist, trying to have the last laugh - babykiller!
Just kidding. Ugh. What an awful end to such a good night. Glad you’re alive. I wouldn’t very much like the alternative.
All I want is my pills! Is this too much to ask?
Oh, and I think I have a voodoo doll for Saturday, but all voodoo dolls are welcome. I’m sure we’ll make good use of them all!
Oh, I have no doubt about it.
Your attitude is, easily, a kabillion times better than mine. I wake up expecting something to go wrong. This is why I’m so elated when nothing does. The following conversation ensued a few nights ago between me, my roommate and my SO;
Me: “No, I’m kind of a Debbie Downer. I’m OK with it. April, what’s that little phrase you have for me?”
SO: “Bitch?”
Me: “Fuck you.”
RM: “Negative Nancy?”
Me: “Thank you. And you sir, can go home now. Here’s a bottle of Jergens and an old J. Crew catalogue.”
My attitude is not always so sunny, but I am trying to be positive. Life isn’t so bad.
I think falling while trying to escape bodily injury is much better than falling for no reason. Self preservation is a good instinct to possess.
I think I can agree with that.
That totally sucks! Women that wear tights are hot by the way.
Take 600mg of advil then wash it down with a nice Glenfiddich 12 year. That will get you back in the game.
I took a fist full of Advil this am…I am not messing around.
Several bruises had already begun to form; in other words, I look incredibly alluring at this juncture.
I’d say that was pretty weird, but last night on the train, my iPod having run out of charge, I spent several minutes listening to a late-teens girl tell her friend about the huge bruise she had on her rear end as a result of a slip on the stairs. It actually did sound sort of hot.
Peter
Hey, to each their own. Maybe someone will take one look at me and I will fulfill every fantasy. I do what I can.
Glad you’re ok. But there’s no sense in the story that anyone offered a hand. Did people really just stand around while you were bloodied and torn? Or did someone at least try to chase down the Jetta…?
People suck, dude. I am sorry to tell you.
Mmm short ribs . . .
Sorry to hear about your encounter with that mean lil white jetta. Hope your arm gets better.
I am a survivor!
Oh, honey. I’m sorry about the spill and the injuries. And in your super cute outfit and hottie-hot boots, too.
As for banana cream pie - that’s one of my all-time faves, and I’d all but forgotten about it. It’s childhood pie and I love it so. I haven’t had it in years and years.
The boots got a little scuffed but I think they will pull through. And I adore banana cream pie if done well.
Glad to hear you’re not letting this get you down Lem, and for the reminder you’re never really safe crossing the street in the District no matter what the lights say. And you’re absolutely correct: alcohol definitely makes the pain go away. That’s why we always drank after rugby games.
Oh, there will be many beers this evening.
I fell a few weeks ago on my walk home for my birthday party. Slipped on a patch of ice, got about four feet of air beneath me, and then landed flat on my butt/lower back and both elbows. Unlike you, though, I wept like a five year old. And I even had a few friends there to pick me up and coddle me like a child.
I think I just outted myself as a total wimp…
I was feeling tough yesterday and I hate crying in public, or in general…I don’t judge you at all, though. That sounds awful.
Yikes! I saw a car run a light last weekend and nearly hit the runner in front of me - there are a LOT of terrible drivers out there.
Sounds like a good night for drinks and pampering, no?
A perfect one…mmm, spa.
aww honey, that’s a crap way to end a good day. but im glad you are okay and your boots are relatively in tact still too.
Me too-it happens.
Holy crap! I should wait until I’m really awake before posting (experience tells me), but… holy crap!
Count me as a 3rd one amazed no one lended a hand to a bleeding pedestrian who’d just escaped a dipshit driver. And yet another who is impressed and happy at your unsinkable outlook.
Mostly, happy to know you’re (nearly) ok.
Thanks PJ. People suck…well, not all people, but yeah…
Sorry hear of your fall.
you can only hope karma comes for that bitch in the white jetta.
I believe it will.
No!!! Stupid red light-running Jetta!
She will get hers.
Wow, that final sentence doesn’t make sense even to me. Stick the “I’m just” right after the comma, which Doofus McDrowsyfingers managed to leave out, and I’ll go find some caffeine.
It made sense to me…don’t know what that says.
Do we need to buy Lem a helmet? JK…
I’m sorry you’re injured, but it sounds like it could have been a lot worse!
I think I need a helmet. Shall we take up a collection?
holy shit! glad you’re okay though, and i hope that dress made it out unscathed. although *you* coming out mostly unscathed is far more important.
Aw, thanks Carrie…the dress mae it through alive! Thank GOD.
I say you and Arjewtino hunt down that white Jetta woman. It’s like you’re Abe and the car is moby dick.
Or something literary like that.
I am currently trying to envision Arjewtino in a fight.
I got a paper cut this week. So I TOTALLY feel your pain.
Oh. TOTALLY.
Picture Arjewtino in a fight with me. I am, and it’s kind of hot.
I see a kiddie pool and vanilla pudding.
I am currently trying to envision Arjewtino in a fight.
I’m trying to envision a harpooned Jetta.
Hm, I am having a tough time myself.
Last time I fell, I broke my leg and ended up in a wheelchair and physical therapy for months and all I got was titanium hardware for the rest of my life. You are a lucky girl. And I’m so glad you’re alive.
That is all.
Thanks k8. Though titanium sounds kinda badass, just saying.
at least there’s a massage at the end of this rainbow
Oh yes there is…and I cannot wait.
Poor Lemmy all bruised.
Hit and run skank must pay.
Blowtorch and pliers.
To the gallows with her!
i’m glad you didn’t let it get you down.
Thanks, me too.
If I ever find out who hurt my poor little Lexa, well…..I don’t know what I’ll do but it will be something bad! I’m sorry Lex, don’t forget the neosporin for scarring and infection. After the scab falls off you can put chapstick with sunscreen to keep from scarring too! Yes it really works, all the docs recommend it.
Thanks Mommy-I will remember that.
re: the Jetta of Injustice: Karma will get her.
Glad you’re OK for the circumstances…
( I wonder if Neosporin or something like that will help speed healing, reduce scarring?)
~S~
I agree 100% re karma.
And looks like you rmum and I had the same thought at the same time re: neosporin. Heh.
~S~
Great minds and all this.
Oy, that looks like it smarts. But if anyone asks what happened (who isn’t a devoted reader) you should say that you majorly effed some bitch ass punk up.
That’s what I do, anyway. Keeps the coworkers in line.
My boss said “what the hell happened to you?” this morning. I shoulda told him about that ho I cut. Dammit.
Your poor arm! Being a clumsy gal myself I am usually covered in bruises. Do you think your iPod distracts you?
I am often dissappointed with banana cream pie. Tis a bummer you were as well.
I really don’t think it does. I had a walk signal.
You look sooo pathetic in that picture. I just want to pinch your cheeks!
Not too hard please.
I am so glad you are ok…crazy freaking car people! xo
For realz lady.
I am sorry for your injuries.
On the flip side, I’ll bet the folk(s) in the Jetta were highly entertained.
I am sure they were, I have no doubt.
This just goes to prove life rule #124. Never trust white people.
Er..white cars.
I’ve said too much.
You can never say too much.
You poor thing! We’re drinking away the pain on Saturday… I think the cocktails will be strong enough to clean out any more wounds we incur…
I could not agree more-and welcome, mg!
Not to reiterate what everyone else has said, but I’m glad you are okay!
Oh my god!
It’s time like that I wish we could carry guns so you could’ve shot the fucker.
I almost got ran over in Chinatown a few weeks ago by some ditz who was looking for traffic coming that she didn’t realize she was making a right-hand turn into pedestrians.
The closest I’ve come to actually being run over, I was crossing 18th Street from Farragut North when some hotheaded asshole blew the light crossing Connecticut and came about a foot from hitting me. I bellowed “FUCK YOU!” at the top of my lungs and all the commuters — this was around 4 or 5 pm — applauded.
I’m glad you’re okay! Obviously. Who would I turn to when in need of a cooking solution?
You deserved to be applauded. People are idiots.