About a year ago I stopped reading the online chats hosted by Tom Sietsema, the Washington Post’s dining critic. It was not the repetitive questions or Sietsema’s predictable answers that killed my love affair with him, but the incessant whining of the chatters. Everyone always had something to bitch about; there were complaints about waits (shocking, you show up to a restaurant on a Saturday night and have to wait?!), noise (people do talk in restaurants, ya know) and the audacity some diners had to actually have children (and we aren’t talking about complaints about unruly children in fine dining establishments, we are talking ‘how dare anyone ever bring any sort of little person in to any establishment where I eat’). What miffed me the most, however, was how everyone always seemed to be demanding free stuff; people wanted a free round of drinks or a comped dessert because they didn’t like everything they had ordered or because the window had a draft or because they disagreed with the light fixtures.
But-there is always a but-I do have one huge complaint about restaurants and I am turning to you. I need to know if I am whining. I don’t think restaurants take food allergies nearly serious enough.
Some background: I was at Co Co Sala recently with my friend Bawstin. The meal was…medicore. The crab cakes were subpar, the tuna tartar was middling and the service was unremarkable. I will say the bananas foster was pretty damn delicious and I was enchanted by the wafer cookies that accompanied our petit fours, but there ain’t enough cookies to make up for the fact that the ice cream was so hard I used a knife to cut it and our mint mouse was loose and weak in mint flavor. The atmosphere was cozy and I could tell they were going for a romantic vibe, but I found the waitstaff dressed in red to be a bit of overkill; I get it, folks.
Bawstin is severely allergic to nuts. In the ten years I have known him I have witnessed these reactions twice and they are terrifying. It is instantaneous and the last time it happened I found myself chasing after an ambulance that had him inside. He is incredibly conscientious about making sure servers know of his allergy. He politely told our server at Co Co Sala before we ordered to please make sure all our dishes were nut free. When we ordered he once again reminded her of his allergy. When she dropped our food he took a look at our portabella flatbread and asked again “And you checked about the nuts right?” She said she would “make sure” and came back to the table a few minutes later and informed us that, in fact, there were nuts in the flatbread. We were glad he hadn’t eaten the dish but somewhat stunned that after being so careful the waitress had neglected to check.
Now, I do believe you dine at your own risk. I also know that excessive modification to menu items can kill the creativity of the chef and can just be down right annoying. This being said, I think the restaurant failed here. Bawstin’s allergy can be fatal and this is something I don’t think an establishment should take lightly. What are your thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? What should we expect from dining establishments when it comes to food allergies? I would love to hear your opinions on this.
You aren’t being unreasonable at all. I worked in the restaurant industry for about a decade before my illustrious metallurgy career began, and that’s just a bad wiatress, not necessarily the waitrerss. Any chef worth his salt will take a food allergy (especially one like a nut allery, which can so often be very serious) very seriously, and work to eliminate the risk. Any waitress that “forgets” to check is lazy and bad at her job. If you are busy you might forget to refill the coffee, but you don’t forget to check on a food allergy.
That’s the thing-he could freaking DIE. Glad to have a former server back me up.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. It bogs the mind that restaurants don’t make their ingredients list publicly available, and that they don’t make assorted “allergy free” items on the menu.
At the same time, having worked in restaurants … I don’t know that I would trust the word of the wait staff. Even if you had the most attentive one, if that person can’t monitor the line cooks every second of the food prep process, who really knows what’s going on in your food? A runner could grab the wrong tray … anything could happen.
I do agree with that-nothing is perfect, but checking is imperative imho.
Great question. I don’t have any food allergies, so I can’t comment on my experience, per se, but my philosophy on any meal that I order and pay for at a restaurant is: I want it the way I want it. And because I am paying, because I have chosen your particular establishment to eat at, you should take me seriously.
I agree with you that excessive modification isn’t ideal. But to ask simply for no nuts, or no onions, or no whatever—for the safety of your health, for pete’s sake!—doesn’t sound like much to ask. Especially when you’re footing the bill.
On the other end of the spectrum, pick eaters drive me batty. To ask to change 4 things about a menu item is annoying; just find something you like better. Allergies are different, though.
Actually, it sounds like all you were asking was to be told what was in the food; that’s not unreasonable at all. I’ve got a cilantro allergy - not even remotely fatal, but good for three or four hours of raucous vomit - and when I go mexican or asian, I have to be very careful. It boggles my mind how many times I’ve asked and asked and asked about sauces in particular, and waiters just don’t take it seriously. And if it were fatal . . . wow. I would be tempted to write a note to the manager or the owner or something, because that is unconscionable negligence on her part. It’s putting your friend’s health at risk because she’s too lazy to bestir herself.
Also, I hope you stiffed her on the tip. I think that’s a good guideline, actually - if you accidentally place one of the diners in mortal danger, you don’t get a tip.
We did tip but not very generously. I have a hard time totally stiffing someone. And welcome, Beth!
That’s seriously appalling. I used to write down all food allergies anyone mentioned in huge block letters with the table number next to it on my pad, just so there was no way I could forget to check. Life and death over a nut just ain’t funny.
I think had he eaten that nut her night would have been ruined that’s for sure.
Oh, I agree — but checking isn’t a guarantee.
Nothing in life is but I think doing the best you possibly can is a good start.
I’d expect the place to be reasonably accommodating, and that’s with the belief that allergy concerns are indeed entirely reasonable. If we’re talking about the place producing something and all that’s required for it not to have nuts, mushrooms, or coconut is for them to simply not add it in, then it’s not a lot to ask. It’s not like slumming it at an Applebee’s and being told that the brownie sundae cannot come without nuts because the nuts are already inside the brownie.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that creating allergy-free items would be called for, as anyone can be allergic to anything, but to not try to make some alterations to food items would be to say that you don’t care about people’s potential allergies.
Right-nuts cannot be taken out of a pesto sauce, obviously. All we were asking was IF they were there.
As a gal with a peanut allergy (just peanuts, and it’s fairly mild-just itchy hives), here’s what I expect: 1) Menus should be descriptive enough to AT LEAST include the most common allergens. 2) Servers should be attentive enough to AT LEAST listen to customers’ dietary restrictions and communicate same to the kitchen. 3) Kitchen employees should be concientious enough to AT LEAST listen to servers’ communications and attempt to comply with requests, no matter how it bastardizes their perfect culinary creation.
On that same token, though, I have expectations of diners with allergies as well. 1) This should go without saying, but if you don’t have an allergy (and instead you just don’t prefer an ingredient), you should not CLAIM that you have an allergy. 2) Trust, but verify. If a menu does not specify that a dish has a particular ingredient, you should still inquire-but you can do it nicely! 3) Have as much knowledge as possible about genres of food and the types of ingredients they contain. For example, I’m always more diligent if I’m eating Thai food, as peanuts are a staple in many sauces and dishes.
I could write a book about this, but I think you get the gist. I just consider myself lucky that my allergy is not of the death-inducing variety.
Good point on not lying about allergies. I have been tempted to say “I am allergic to coconut” on more than one occassion but I always stop myself. It is not fair to the people with real allergies.
My sister is severely allergic to shellfish so for family dinners out, we try to avoid seafood restaurants or go to places we know have an extensive fish selection, unlike a “Crab Shack”. She carries an epi-pen if that puts it in perspective. Generally we haven’t had issues, since she avoids “imperial” or other key words. She’ll also ask before placing her order.
I think in Bawstin and your case, you had every right to be angry that after all the discussion, they couldn’t get the bread right. If he was allergic to nuts in the “air”, like supposedly some kids nowadays have, I think you don’t have much of a case in a public restaurant. I might understand if you were dining on a 747 with confined recycled airflow, but not somewhere where presumably air flows in and out of the establishment.
This isn’t the first time this has happened; I just don’t feel people take it seriously.
Having worked everywhere from Pizza Hut to a high-end steakhouse with a $160 kobe burger, I can assure you that no, we don’t take them seriously enough. Unless someone takes the time to either come up to the server at the station or mentions it in the reservation, we’re likely going to slack and assume it’s not an allergy so much as it is a preference, or a poorly-disguised eating disorder.
You wouldn’t believe how many rich ladies are “allergic to excess salt and fat”.
But you don’t think we made it excessively clear?
I love all food, and am about the least picky eater ever (on this blog alone, I’ve admitted to eating chicken feet, and both raw and cooked ants).
However, I’ll admit to being one of those people who whines about loud restaurants. Loud, crowded spaces give me anxiety attacks, and sobbing fits aren’t the best way to round out a tasty meal. I don’t expect a restaurant to change for me, however, so I read reviews carefully and I LOVE the decibel ratings that Sietsema puts in his reviews. It makes my life a whole lot easier.
I have a mild food allergy (artificial sweeteners give me migraines), but I’m usually pretty good at avoiding them without having to consult the waiter. Basically, if it says “sugar-free,” “light” or “diet,” it’s poison. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with a stealthy or potentially fatal allergy.
Deafeningly loud is one thing but I feel people get a bit annoying about noise at times. I conceded your point, though.
Did she at least apologize for forgetting to check when she went to “make sure”? Mistakes do happen, and while I certainly think she should have taken you seriously the first time(s) you asked, it would have been nice if she had admitted her error and apologized.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable, especially when it comes to nut allergies, which can be very serious. I am allergic to shellfish, which can also be serious, but that one is a bit easier for me to identify on the menu and avoid. I have had some issues with canapes, but, in my experience, the servers have always been very knowledgeable or willing to find out when I ask.
She was actually not all that apologetic. Le sigh.
I dunno…I’m a big fan of not putting my life into other people’s hands. Just like I never trust that the pilot of my plane isn’t a drunk and I make sure to peek in at him and say hi and sometimes say, “Don’t crash please,” I also wouldn’t trust someone with my life in a restaurant if I had an allergy. Of course, I don’t have an allergy, so I know I say this from the standpoint of not being the victim, but still…I spent 12 years of my life slinging the hash everywhere from family restaurants to horrible Ruby Tuesday’s Chains to sports bars. And I will say this: There is not one person in any of those kitchens who I would have trusted with my life. So, nope, if I had a food allergy, I would probably avoid restaurants. Because even using the same serving spoon in the kitchen for the offending food and another food could result in an allergy attack.
I see where you are coming from, I really do. But I feel like sometimes you have to try to trust people, right? Should he just stay hunkered in at his house, never eating a meal out?
Maybe I’ve slept around with too many waitresses in my day but here’s what I’ve been told. Men, on average have a rep for treating waitstaff rudely if the waitstaff is male. If the waitstaff is female they are usually clumsily attempting to pick her up. Women, have a rep for making dumb ass requests that are nothing short of infuriating or frustrating to waitstaff. What do you think the knock-on effect of all of this bullshit is? The next time you make a serious request you can blame the hundreds of other fuckbags that came before you for desensitizing waitstaff to a genuine problem.
Preach it. I honestly agree with that. People can be totally unreasonable and entitled.
if any restaurant lacks in meeting the allergy request of a guest, it means that the guest doesn’t come first.
i speak from experience from dutch restaurants where i worked and my boyfriend is a chef, the guests always comes first.
the waitress was seriously lacking in her service and if it was me, i would have reported to the manager in question.
and i once said i had a coconut/raisin allergy, i’m bad
The thing is-I think he is desensitized to it. People are lazy about it a lot.
Nope, not unreasonable. I, too, have been a waitress, and when diners would inform me of a serious allergy, I would harass the chefs more than once to make sure they got the message. They’re busy and they don’t have contact with the customers, so in my opinion it’s the waitperson’s job to make sure the allergen never made it near the dish.
When it’s a matter of life and death, it’s not petty.
Nope, it is the real deal. I am glad people generally agree with me.
I definitely agree with you. Just this past weekend, a friend (who has a severe/fatal milk allergy) and I were eating lunch at a *vegan* restaurant. We never asked about milk ingredients since vegan food is milk/dairy free. Well, ten minutes after we left the restaurant, she ended up passed out in a park in San Francisco, while I called 911 and paramedics came, gave her oxygen and an IV, and rushed her to the hospital. She was fine after 5 hours in the hospital. But apparently you can’t even trust a restaurant that claims to be completely vegan! The thing is, was it her fault for assuming vegan food would be milk-free? Or was it the restaurant’s fault for not being clear on the menu?
Welcome kyasteri. I think when a restaurant says it is vegan it better damn well be vegan.
Well, I wouldn’t try new places. I would have a handful of places I go to all the time where they know me, so the chance would be rare that this would happen. Wait. I do that now and I don’t have a food allergy. Guess I’m a creature of habit.
The best I could say is that he would have to talk to the manager at every new place. Because getting a manager is the only way you can firm up your best chances. Not to slam the wait staff, but sometimes they are too slammed to remember, and sometimes the kitchen staff doesn’t give a crap what they say.
I think addressing it with the manager is a really good suggestion.
i agree with you and don’t think you’re being unreasonable. restaurants, and their wait staff, should go out of their way to make sure they keep this stuff in check.
…and their patrons alive.
i read this quick and thought you were talking about tequila.
i have a problem.
An awesome problem.
I can’t count the number of times Wendy’s has gotten my hamburger wrong, even when I slowly, specifically tell them how I want it prepared.
I’m not allergic to anything that would be on it, I just want it the way I want it. But do they check? No. Then I am forced to go back through the drive-through and throw the hamburger in their face before heading to the nearest McDonald’s.
So to answer your question, no, you are not whining. Your friend made it clear what he wanted, and why. Then reiterated the request. The fact that your server was a moron is not your fault, and you should write a letter to the restaurant manager (and hopefully get a free meal out of it).
I shall write a strongly worded letter.
P.S. - That’s two posts in a row about balls/nuts, for those counting.
Guess I have something on the brain…
I really don’t understand how people don’t get the easy stuff right. You weren’t asking for a recipe adjustment or a rehaul of how they approached their food preparation. It wasn’t a demand; it was a question. Reasonable questions should always be answered no matter how desensitized a server may be; especially when it’s literally a matter of life or death.
Right, just answer the question.
My wife and I were at a Chinese restaurant one afternoon and were offered a free “turnip cake”. We asked if it had meat in it, and the waiter said, “No, just these little bits of pork”. Apparently if you cut it up small enough it doesn’t count as meat any more.
Being a vegetarian, I find these experiences merely annoying. It’s good that your friend was as cautious as he was. Waitstaff are human. They can be distracted, inattentive, forgetful, careless, and there can be language issues (even among native English-speakers). When someone’s life is on the line, though, I figure they’re liable if anything goes wrong.
I do commend him for being so insistent when he checks.
I will forgive almost anything a restaurant can do to make me not want to eat there if the food is great. Lousy service, loud volumes, long waits…
But I cannot, and will not ever forgive any restaurant for not making every reasonable effort to keep their diners safe.
Safety first as they say.
I’m kind of appalled that this happened. Of course you’re not being unreasonable. From what I’ve seen and personally experienced, nut and shellfish allergies are two of the worst. There’s very little excuse for the oversight on the waitress’s part. Even if she’d thought he was being a picky eater, she should always err on the side of caution.
I would be so afraid of someone keeling over on my watch I would be insane about it.
Inattentiveness from servers has always baffled me, since that’s one occupation where the people you’re being inattentive to are the ones responsible for the bulk of your salary. You know, golden goose and all that.
Not to mention that dead/dying/anaphylactic customers tend to be lousy tippers.
And while I guess you could argue that it cramps the creativity of a chef, having patrons keel over in your place will have a much more severe effect on your reputation, I’d wager.
So as has been overwhelmingly voted here, I think, you’re not unreasonable. She sucked. I would absolutely have had a conversation with the manager, and it takes a whole lot to get me to that point (also a former restaurant worker). Management should know which of their staff is trying to kill their customers.
Very excellent point re: golden goose.
With regard to an earlier comment regarding ordering “your way.” — I don’t think anyone is entitled to “substitutions” when ordering off a menu; receiving one is a courtesy from the restaurant and not an obligation, and should be considered such.
I waited tables for over 10 years and, although I would check with the cook(s) re: allergic ingredients, you really do never know. Sometimes, because the dish isn’t made 100% from scratch, even the persons preparing it don’t know every ingredient that makes up the meal. This is more applicable when you have someone who is normally a line cook filling in for a chef on his night off.
It is true, life is full of risks. I get this. I mean a nut could get in to anything in a factory. All I am saying is I think it is best to try to minimize risk.
I believe that as a society, we are bordering on the insane when it comes to suing each other and litigation. However, don’t restaurants realize that they are liable when they don’t check? Especially when he asked THREE times.
THREE TIMES DAMMIT. There has to be a line.
This story hits pretty close to home as I have a similar (if not the same) allergy as Bawstin. Not to the ambulance extent but certainly to the point that it ruins the rest of the evening of myself and anyone I’m with.
I always make a point to ask the waitstaff about any dish that might be questionably containing nuts, and I’m shocked how often they have no idea if it does or not. I expect them to immediately go back and check, so i won’t have taken a bite before knowing. That said, if you alert them upfront about the allergy, they should take the initiative to warn you off any nut-containing dishes, especially at nicer restaurants like Co Co Sala.
Glad you guys checked and then doublechecked for both your sakes.
Yeah, Co CO Sala isn’t exactly a drop in the bucket. They should be able to handle simple requests like this.
ANYTHING out of the norm is a challenge most waitstaff AND back-kitchen staff have difficulties adjusting to. It’s a sad truth.
To most places, in spite of the lip service from the front of the house, you are a number; A “2-Top”, “Table 304″ or whatever # they assign. They make $ by turning tables. A busy place is even worse. (If they make a profit of $.07 on the $1, they are doing great.)
BUT something so important, AND IT DEF IS, should! be! given proper attention. Life and death is not whining.
What I would suggest is call and ask PRIOR to getting there. From 2pm to 5pm most front and back of the house staff are there and they aren’t nearly as busy as they are later on. In the heat of the moment, they are MORE likely to place a lessor emphasis on your request. Again, sad but true.
If you were to call ahead and ask about ingredients between 2-5pm, I think you’d get a much better response. And you could potentially work the situation to have a relationship with management. Good restaurants are always looking for that kind of contact to build customers. It also gives you an in should something not go well during the nite. You’re not just a number if they’ve met you before.
If the response you get then is bad, don’t go at all. Good luck.
We asked if it had meat in it, and the waiter said, “No, just these little bits of pork”
To defend my peeps, Chinese, especially the less educated mainlanders (likely given that he was working at the restaurant), have no concept of vegan/vegetarian. Really, they don’t understand any meal that isn’t made with meat or at least meat fat. I once made a vegetarian rice noodle dish for a pot-luck lunch at work and the one mainlander working there couldn’t believe I made it with no meat or meat fat. She was perplexed as if I broke the laws of physics and the sound barrier to make the dish.
BTW - Lemm, if you want that recipe, I’ll be glad to share that as well.
You mean you hadn’t broken the lays of physics? And yes, would love the recipe. Thanks Tony.
This is a topic I have a lot of experience with, on two different fronts: I’m allergic to chicken and almonds, and when it comes to fine dining, both allergies bedevil me in ways that most persons who have not worked in the food industry or cooked extensively would miss.
The easier to sniff out, is almonds, mostly because there is not a pastry chef alive who doesn’t advertise the presence of almond’s in their dessert’s. They’re tasty, and you can tack on an extra $2 for that “german chocolate torte with almond turtle shell flour crust” I gave up eating truffled chocolates years ago after spitting out dozens of cores.
Chicken on the other hand, is where I can get angry at servers. Look, I have the good sense not to order the spit roasted chicken or the coq au vin. Chefs love to put chicken stock in everything. You will too once you start making it, it’s essentially steroids for sauce flavor. It’s one of those things, along with butter and cream, that make restaurant food taste so much better than home cooking.
Having worked back of the house in my life, I’ve got a pretty good sense where chicken stock might be hiding on a menu: I haven’t had a risotto in a restaurant in years. But it’s still hard to find. Where those vegetables basted in it? The rice? Does that red wine reduction have a splash? Truly sublime veal stock usually starts out as a weak chicken stock. And if your a vegetarian, you may not realize how much you’ve eaten over the year’s (I Guarantee that vegetable risotto you had was cooked with it).
I’ve asked servers to check, and they do, and I get sick (my allergy tends to manifest itself in the form of nausea, and all the other stuff that comes with that) anyway. It makes me angry, because I usually equip them with the questions they need to ask: “Does the veal stock have chicken bones in it?” “Does this reduction have chicken stock?” Was the meat/vegetables braised in chicken stock” ? And they still miss.
I ask/tell them to substitute water when possible. Usually I get a response from the kitchen, when the check was done properly, along the lines of: “These two dishes are the only thing you can eat”
I so I’m reduced to eating the fish and asking for my sauce on the side, ignoring the vegetables on the plate if they appeared to have touched liquid.
This is more of a rant than a comment, and I could have it worse, I could be one of those folks that’s allergic to everything, including air, but it still sucks.
Rant on…this really sucks. And you raise a good point. A lot of vegetarian food is not vegetarian. There is stock in a LOT of stuff.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable in the slightest. That is a SERIOUS, SERIOUS issue and the wort part is HE TOLD THE LADY.
I mean, good grief!
He told her multiple times. MULTIPLE TIMES.
My Mom is deathly allergic to mushrooms, and restaurants always do a good job with it. I think you just caught a bad place.
This is not the first time it has happened though. That ambulance ride was after we ate out together as well.
The general rule inside the restaurant business is that altering the menu item in cases like that (making it without nuts) is up to the chef, and in the case of something that was probably already made, like flat bread, they generally won’t make it without the offending ingredient won’t happen.
Good luck decoding that sentence.
However, the waitress failed you in that she did not check.
I know what you mean. We would have just ordered something else. We weren’t even asking them to remake it.
Honestly, I think they should put people like your friend Bawstin in a bubble and feed them gerber food. People with allergies are just high-maintenance.
Hahaha, I know who this is. You are very funny, sir.
that’s absolutely ridiculous. when i worked in a fancyschmancy DC restaurant, we had a very pretentious and full of himself chef, who thought food decisions — like vegetarianism — were for weak-minded people. HOWEVER, he (and the entire restaurant) took food allergies extremely seriously. Celiacs, nut allergies, etc, CAN absolutely be accommodated. You weren’t at TGI Friday’s. And if you told Tom, you would get free stuff.
See, I know I am going to get flamed for this, but I think the chef is right in some ways. Be adventurous, folks. Allergies are a whole other ball of wax, though.
We are overly conscious of allergies at my restaurant. We’re instructed to tell anyone that there’s nuts in something if they order it. I don’t do that, because, let’s face it-you’re an idiot if you’re fatally allergic to something and don’t inform your server.
As far as modifications are concerned…they suck. Guests should know that requesting constant modifications is the quickest way to get the kitchen staff to hate your server, making her job exponentially harder. Of course it can’t hurt to ask, but when she politely says no, don’t push it.
(This is a PSA sponsored by servers everywhere)
Oh if you are fatally allergic to something it is COMPLETELY on you to make sure you say something.
They absolutely don’t take food allergies seriously-I think a lot of waitstaff assume that people are just using them as an excuse to ask for substitutions/modifications.
And I’m sure some people DO that, but. . . if I find one more effing beet on a salad when I’ve explained that I’m allergic, I am going to eat the stupid thing, swell up like a balloon, and sue their asses.
You would be rich! But itchy…
He shouldn’t have had to TRIPLE check, the waitress sounds like a twit. But I echo the opinion of others about trusting your wait staff with your life.
I also had a friend with a potentially fatal peanut allergy. They rarely went out to eat because really, is trying the latest hot restaurant worth dying for? Proving that the waiter is wrong after the fact is kind of like knowing pedestrians have the right of way as the car runs you over: you’re right, but you still lose. Is it fair that your friend is so limited in dining options? No. But unfortunately, life isn’t fair.
I also hate the whiners in Sietsema’s chats. I don’t think you’re whining.
Good lord that chat is whiner central. Everyone has a problem with something. Glad I am not alone.
No you are not whining! Food allergies are a grave matter and fine eating establishments should have protocols in place to address this very common issue.
Sounds like Co Co Sala needs to change its ways or it will eventually go the way of the dodo.
They need to change a lot of things. Like half the deserts we ate in our desert flight sucked. Not good when you specialize in chocolate.
I think a lot of people use the food allergy excuse for stuff they don’t like, and so I wonder if servers at some point just become inured to the “I’m allergic to…” It’s a stupid, stupid thing to take lightly, though, particularly with nuts, because the consequences can actually be fatal - don’t they know this???
And I would think that restaurants would want to be more cautious, if not to make patrons happy, then at least out of the realization that Americans are extremely litigious.
Everyone and their mom knows that nut allergies are the real deal.
I have an allergy to onion. I have to practically sing my order so they will remember that fact. I am a stickler for good service and I feel like servers should take allergies more seriously.
Onion/shallots/scallions are in everything, too.
You would be amazed at how many people lie about a food allergy just because they don’t want something like parsley on their plate, which can make servers kind of callous I’d think. But you guys were certainly clear enough about it. Maybe she’s just a bad waitress, and forgot? Yeah I guess that means they aren’t taking it seriously enough. I never sent any of my customers into anaphylactic shock but I was a terrible waitress.
Hey, not everyone is meant to be a waitress and that is ok.
No, you are not being unreasonable. Allergies can be very serious and I really don’t think its too much to ask that a restaurant employee listen to you and not possibly kill you by serving you said allergy.
If it was me, I would have spoken to the manager!
We should have. I usually do.
Loved the post Lemmie, you write really well.
But - there’s always a but - I don’t agree about the allergy stuff. With the risk of sounding like a Nut Nazi, I don’t think people with the predisposition to turn blue at the very mention of the word cashew should risk eating in restaurants. I know I wouldn’t.
When I cooked in restaurants there were several times when people asked whether we could definitely confirm there were no nuts, or any nut contamination whatsoever, in the food. This is a big ask. What chef could honestly put his hand on his heart and say no?
What about the numbskull commis who’d scoffed a Snickers in the kitchen and let some drop in the lettuce? How could you ever be sure enough to say, hand on heart, you will not die if you eat this.
I think it puts too much pressure on the restaurant, and in those circumstances I’ve always said ‘I can’t be certain’ which is shorthand for please sue someone else.
But I am of course talking about accidental contamination - not knowing there were nuts in the bread is unforgivable! So I completely understand your ire.
Keep up the good blogging,
Lennie
Thanks, Lennie. I think you raise a good point. Of course if some sort of accidental contamination took place Bawstin would “get” it but I think the flatbread oversight was egregious.
I have very strong opinions about this particular topic.
My opinion is that A) he is being totally reasonable, as are you. (Um, hello, He could DIE.)
B) Don’t lie about an allergy, as it is akin to crying wolf and someone who actually COULD die will be the one to pay the price for your self-centered behavior.
C) As long as you are not assholes about it (and you weren’t), then what’s the issue? Hey! people with allergies! DON’T BE ASSHOLES! You can be polite and firm, and it’s a surefire way to avoid spit in your food. Also! Not being an a-hole often ensures that you can actually make and keep friends!
The reason my opinion is strong?
I knew someone with a nut allergy who also made it (politely) abundantly clear about her allergy to both her server AND the manager: And she was served something with nuts, and she ate it, and she died.
She DIED. Even though they called an ambulance and it came right away, she was in a coma for a few days and then she DIED.
And for the record, this was no TGIFridays. This was at the Capital Grille.
So no, you are not being unreasonable.
Oh honey, I am so sorry about your friend. So so sorry.
And in general not being a total a’hole is a good way to live ones life.
Not being unreasonable at all. In all my food service experience, we were always too casual about such things. It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
I am surprised that you ate a mint mouse. Did they have have any chocolate gerbils?
Oh, typo central. Though I bet a mint mouse would be better than what I had.
Like how I had a typo when chiding you about a typo? I’m smooth like that.
Uh huh…you are.
I agree that on this specific topic, allergies, you can’t bitch or complain too loudly.
In general, however, people complain too much about restuarants. If I go somewhere, and the service is slow, or my food sucks, I pay my bill, and don’t go back. That’s how the system is supposed to work. It’s like wine: You can take back a bottle that is corked, and get it replaced. You can’t take back a bottle that just sucks, and expect a refund.
Not every place is good, and people need to stop bitching for a free desert to compensate for the fact that some eateries blow.
I read something recently where someone was pissed they didn’t get a free piece of cake on their birthday. The sense of entitlement is insane. Restaurants need to make money.
A mint mouse? I’ve never heard of vermin that freshened your breath.
Sadly, though, I totally thought it was some kind of fancy dessert that no one had told me about.
Yeah, I am a moron, but lovable.
I don’t see what’s wrong about people having a specific idea of what they want their dining experience to be like. Add me to the legions who hate loud restaurants. My ears are extra-sensitive and I like hearing my dinner companions. Plus, spaces don’t just get loud on their own. Many factors go into noise level including design. I hate it when restaurant owners are more concerned with making their spaces look trendy so they decorate in an acoustically ignorant manner instead of considering the comfort of their patrons. That being said, if I hear that a place is loud and has shitty acoustics, I simply won’t go.
I agree; you can have expectations. Most definitely, but those chats cross over from ReasonableTown to WhineyVille too often for my tastes.
I have always been on the receiving end on food allergies; people dying because of some dumb ass that could be bothered to ask about the ingredients.
I hope that common sense about food reactions/death would be on the forefront of a servers mind. But lets face it, there is a reason I was always busy at work.
You had a job where I wish you were never busy.
I’ve been working in the restaurant biz for about 3 years now. It wasn’t the restaurants fault, it was your careless waitress. Being a waitress myself, it’s our job to pay attention to detail. I.E., if your table tells you they’re allergic to nuts, you’re being PAID to know what foods have nuts in them. Therefore, if they order something and it has nuts, TELL THEM. If you don’t know - ASK the chef. She was poorly trained and sucks really badly. And that’s a lawsuit waiting to take her away. She was careless and no, you’re not unreasonable. She should have known before that plate hit your table.
Just sayin’.. she needs to be re-trained or something.. mmh.
Welcome JJ. I am glad to get validation from someone on the inside.
I think it is ridiculous for chefs/servers/restaurants to be anything but stringent when patrons inform them of nut allergies. It’s not like, “Oh, I don’t like coconut and I’m annoyed that it’s in my food”. Like you said: someone could die from that sort of carelessness. If a patient in a hospital died from penicillin poisoning, after telling their doctor 3 times that they were allergic…there would be hell to pay. I’m really glad that you didn’t have to chase an ambulance that night.
I am glad too, Ryane.
you aren’t being unreasonable AT ALL. it’s the restaurants responsibility once the allergy has made known.
thank god you guys checked a second time though
Could have been bad, most definitely.
I’m shocked that so many people feel that the solution to this is to just not go to restaurants. Seriously?
I’m deathly allergic to being hit by a bus. Doesn’t mean I avoid crossing the street every day.
You should never leave your house, Old Man. Ever.
I agree with the majority that you are not being unreasonable at all. The challenge is to get wait staff to actually listen to their customers and then be able to distinguish the ones who are actually trying to communicate something from the ones that just like to pontificate for their table-mates or make themselves feel better about their own lives by destroying the self-esteem of those in the service industry. Good luck with that.