Emily over at Washingtonian contacted me a few weeks back asking for a Valentine’s tale of delight or woe. It is running today as part of a special online Valentine’s edition of Blogger Beat. Go check it out if you want to feel better about your love life.
Also, I am slowly plodding through all the interview requests I received. If you haven’t received yours yet, please don’t give up hope. I will send it, I am just trying to dig my way out from under the pile.
Lastly, I just want to take a second to mention my new policy on trolls. The amount of hateful comments (and emails that you guys don’t even see) that I have been receiving lately has been on the uptick. Some comments are denied and never make it through, but trust…some are nasty, sexist, and downright threatening. Look, I am just a girl with a healthy appetitive, too many opinions, and perhaps a drinking problem. I didn’t go to culinary school nor am I any sort of food expert. Instead of talking about my feelings, I am simply going to say this: if you harass me or anyone on this site, you will be banned. I hate doing this as it seems totalitarian and heavy handed, but god dammit, I don’t need people demeaning or threatening me as a result of a stupid freaking recipe. Let me please make one thing very clear: I am not trying to build a Lemmonex fan club, not do I want comments full of cyber hugs, kittens, and rainbows. I encourage swearing, dirty talk and in depth conversation regarding my cleavage. Just don’t be a dickhead or you cannot play here anymore.
Kittens AND cleavage! Beat that!
Kittens with cleavage maybe?
Your rules hardly seem totalitarian rather, it seems a shame that you have to tell adults to remember their manners when visiting someone else’s blog!
I know-I just hate to do it, ya know?
Why did that image not work? Boo! Here’s a link. It’s cute.
It is cute, but I totally am not aboard the LOLCatz train. I don’t really get it.
Kittens with cleavage… how fugly of you. Also, it is WAY too early on Monday morning for that kind of imagery.
It is never too early for that kind of imagery.
FUCK!!!
Wow. I feel better.
Everyone should live by the my internet golden rule:
1. Never post anything you wouldn’t be willing to say to somebody’s face.
MOTHER FUCK! Feels good, eh?
Now now, there is nothing wrong with this being a dictatorship and you being the head dick. In fact, I support it.
Head dick, I like it.
Cleavage is cool. It’s one of the best things about a woman’s body. Though not the very best, you all know my thoughts on that.
Peter
Oh, I do Peter. I do.
Ew. People can certainly be dicks, especially when they are hiding behind a computer screen.
Maybe someday in the future, we’ll have the power to reach through our monitors and just smack a bitch. We did put a man on the moon - I’m sure this isn’t exactly an impossible dream.
Man, how I would love to smack a bitch. I have some rage.
I encourage swearing, dirty talk and in depth conversation regarding my cleavage.
Lem my dear, while I fully support your swearing & dirty talk initiatives, I still prefer exceedingly superficial discussions about your cleavage.
Deep, superficial…as long as it is a topic of conversation.
Some mutherfuckers just gots no class when it comes to your culinary fineness and cleavagely endowments. All hail Lemmonex. We who are about to comment salute you!
Ha, thanks Kevin. We gotta keep if classy up in here.
Ugh. Sorry you had to spend time addressing that. Don’t get me wrong: the way you handled it was awesome. Just a shame it became a big enough deal to have to use a post.
It is a shame, I agree.
It’s a damn shame when people feel it necessary to be TOTAL ASSHATS for no fucking reason.
I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
Out with the bad, in with the good.
What you get threats? That’s crazy talk…..
But for realz if you don’t put up a Plantain recipe… you’re going to get what’s coming to you… and not in a good way… you’ve been warned
For some reason, I think you may be serious.
I’m sorry people are being a bunch of fucking weasels.
On the internet, in life…they are everywhere. Thanks.
“I encourage swearing, dirty talk and in depth conversation regarding my cleavage.”
which is why we loooooove you…xoxo
I don’t think a day has gone by since I was 12 when my boobs were not a topic of conversation…it is my lifeblood, those talks.
I’m with f.B. - it really just sucks you had to write this in the first place. But nicely done.
I never realized that life stories and excellent recipes could bring out the crazy in people. (And not the good kind of crazy, either.)
In fairness, it is more ME people don’t like. Sometimes I don’t like me, but I keep those thoughts to myself.
An uptick in anonymous haters is usually a sign of increasing popularity…….or maybe proximity to where dipshits like to congregate. Just sayin.
I know…in a weird way it is flattering. No one is going to scream in an empty room, it is true.
Perhaps a drinking problem? Oh Lem, you still haven’t even taken the first step to recovery.
Well, if I take the first step, I have to take them all. I don’t want to apologize to people…or stop drinking.
fuck um!
cock shit balls. (just some healthy cursing to brighten your day)
Hooray! Thanks for that.
I will harass you…but only in a sexy way
See that wink? Totally sexual harassment…but the good kind.
Oh, I like being harassed in a good way. Bring it, friend.
and why NOT a fan club? We could have t shirts, bumper stickers, theme songs, etc.
A secret handshake?
It’s too bad they haven’t invented a cyber-taser. You leave a mean comment, and you get something personal and sensitive zapped. What is wrong with people - who gets mean over a recipe?
“Personal and sensitive”. Whatever do you mean?
Look at it this way: lame little blogs that no one reads rarely get trolled. Take it as a sign that you’ve arrived.
Thanks, B…always looking out for me. I can forgive you for mocking my Pandora stations because of that.
some people are serious asshats. sorry you even have to deal with this. on a monday no less. or any day.
Oh, it is fine. I think it may upset my mom more.
All I can say is…I’m sorry love. I’ve been there. Too many times to count. And it sucks. Cutting comments and moderating is the only way to handle it and I am glad you are trusting your instincts and going there. We love you and keep your head up. Most assholes do usually go away.
But I will tell you this. ANYONE who tells you to ignore it, is straight up clueless and has never been attacked verbally or harassed via internet. We ladies get a special brand of troll. The psycho kind.
I hope they go away asap.
xo
Yeah, I think as a woman it is a bit different. There is a fear element.
have no fear, radman is here. wait a minute, thats underdog.
Works either way!
It’s YOUR blog and you are not required to be diplomatic and grant every commenter the right to free speech. Delete the crazies… we don’t want to read their mean and useless comments either. Yeah!
Right, that is basically why I came around to deleting. I mean I pay for this site, ya know?
It is sad that your mum is so upset by the nastiness. I think people forget that with anonymity, there is a social responsibility to not be a total douchebag because you think you won’t have to answer to it. It is a fucking bummer.
On the other side, keep saying what you want to say. People don’t like it, say your peace and try to be intelligent about it. Or at least lighten up. Twats.
You should feel good that people enjoy your site and what you say. Good people outweigh the bad and there ain’t nothin wrong with that.
It is a bummer and a half. I will not be silenced, dammit. Thanks, Oxen.
Is it too late to be interviewed?
It is, sorry Snay.
Sounds totally reasonable to me.
Thanks la. I don’t even think I got too righteous, which I have been known to do.
At least now I know why most of my comments never show up. I didn’t think two dozen comments per post were too much, but whatever.
You need to learn some restraint SD.
my first thought was echoed by others before me: more trolls is, i think, an indicator that more people are reading your blog. more trolls is not good. more people enjoying your blog, as i do? that is a good thing. it’s like sharing. some people just don’t have the right manners to participate. fuck ‘em.
Thanks rossitron. I am really glad you enjoy it.
whoops, grammar errors galore…
You know I can barely type so we are all good.
It’s important to specify what type of cleavage:
Boob cleavage = good.
Rump cheek cleavage = not good.
Peter
You said rump!
More cleavage shots.
For research purposes.
I will work on it.
I was probably called a troll once or twice, but that was by a pretty girl who didn’t like me. You haven’t had the pleasure (or pain) yet.
I guess it was good judgement on my part not to cyber-stalk you about the the interview. I would have totally been on the bad side of this post.
Kidding aside, those haters should really leave you alone. I’m sure there are food-hating, clean-talking men out there who run their own sites. If you want to hate, stop coming here.
btw - agree with rs27awesome. I’ll talk nicely about it if I see more.
Thanks for not harassing…I appreciate. I promise soon…
Cleavage!!! That’s something we can all believe in.
It sure is.
Preach it, girl! Don’t let the haters get you down.
Doing my best-thanks.
A slight drinking problem? Nay, nay! Hang in there chica. Comments like that would make me cry, and you just rose to the challenge.
Thanks, friend. You are right.
Just “perhaps” a drinking problem? Clearly, you aren’t working hard enough to be a full-on drunk. Come on, Lem, we expect better.
There is a bottle of JD in my drawer…better?
it’s really great to see all the support you have..
i couldn’t possibly understand why people are so mean on a blog that is funny and have amazing recipes. (me kissing ass
drinking problem? just cuz women that are in their late twenties and enjoying life, means you have a drinking problem? gosh, what am i then?
You are just perfect.
My advice to the trolls, ignore all assholes.
Agreed.
I hope you can discern that my comment is calling the trolls assholes. My original reply was a little open-ended for my liking. Sorry for not proofing before posting!
Nope-it is all good. I know what you meant.
There are some really great stories over at The Washingtonian! Love yours, by the bye, and Ben’s as well, to name 2 in particular. My own views of Valentine’s Day… can wait for another week or 2. Nothing spectacular, but I’m pondering doing something nice for someone and these things often blow up on me. Could be a more entertaining tale told later.
Threatened based on… a recipe?! That is totally beyond my comprehension.
Me, I love a girl who understands that I love boobs and appreciate their artful display (mmm, cleavage!). Also, anyone who loves good food (mmm, biscotti!), loves to make good food, (mmm, merlot reduction!) and enjoys the joys of alcohol (mmm, booze!) is at least decent enough to be decent to and indecent enough to be fun. So there. Fuck the trolls, with a cactus and without KY.
Ouch-without KY? That is gonna hurt. And thanks for the nice words re: Washingtonian…I worried it was a bit trite. Also, I encourage you to do something nice.
Oops. I’m a little late. Did somebody say cleavage?
It is never too late for cleavage.
I hope they got the message. Can’t you just go ahead and ban them and be done with it?
Oh, they are banned. Sorry if that is not clear.
Well said, Lemm! I’m just sorry you have to do the filtering in the first place. Sometimes I just don’t understand people. Is it really so damn difficult to keep one’s mouth shut if one has nothing nice to say? *sigh*
And I gotta say, you had a good roommate - heart-shaped pizza? Right on! (nice blurb)
I did have a good roomie-she was really a gem.
Charlotte harris said: It’s YOUR blog and you are not required to be diplomatic and grant every commenter the right to free speech.
Agreed. And if anyone kvetches about First Amendment “rights” after this, I want to kick their ass. Personally (if I can track them down).
1) Culinary Couture is not an entity of the Government.
2) Their “freedom of speech” doesn’t negate your right to keep things civil (or for calling them out on being putzes…)
3) As you correctly said: You pay for this site.
Hoping things get better, hon…
~S~
I think they will. I like to think I am big, bad and scary and they ran away.
People suck. Honestly I didn’t even realize that this was going on in your comment section. Also? They are giving you grief for your recipes? Wow. Someone needs a hobby.
I think it IS their hobby to bother people.
People ripping you down because of recipes or your life style is just crap. Good on you for taking the upper hand! These people are probably fucktard little nobodies in real life and have to act tough on the internet in order to feel more important…….oh God, I just realized I’m starting to sound like my mom. Except that she would never say “Fucktard”. Is it something about 27 that does that to a girl?
Ha! Some moms say fucktard, maybe? Mine doesn’t either. Thanks for the support.
Weren’t we just talking about haters the other day…?
Also, awesome post on Washingtonian. You’re becoming such a little celebrity with all these guest spots on other sites!
I am a celeb in my own mind, that is for sure.
People are jealous that you are real. May I lend my elbow dropping services, I can hook you with with a good deal.
P.S. thought this was funny…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMb_WUk0ohM
Thanks. And whoa-cannot watch this at work!
Loved the part about the heart-shaped pizza…now THAT’S a friend.
Sure is…and it was yummy.