Before a late night showing of “Milk” the other evening, AuntLifeSaver and I decided to grab some dinner. (Mini review of “Milk”: needs some serious editing, overwrought, Sean Penn is great.) As we were in the midst of “Obamapalooza: Neo Resurrected”, we decided to stick to Virginia. We landed on grabbing our meal at Tallula with a pre-dinner drink at Eat Bar.
Connected to neighboring Tallula, Eat Bar is welcoming and boasts an impressive drink list. Blackboards above the bar list out all the drink options (this grandma had to put her glasses on to see the board, sadly), but there are also menus listing the beer and cocktail choices. AuntLifeSaver and I both got the “Movie Star”, a champagne cocktail with ginger and cranberry. I am generally not a girly drink kinda gal, but this concoction was crisp and refreshing and not at all sweet. I really enjoyed it.
Dinner at Tallula was…good? Pretty decent? The service was attentive and the wine list was incredibly varied and reasonably priced. The atmosphere was lovely and I really enjoyed the amuse bouches of a slider and a chorizo corndog, even if they were more like an appetizer and not an amuse bouche. (Amuse bouche means two bites, folks in the kitchen…) The cheese plate that followed our dinner was a delight. But my dinner? My actual meal? It was totally jank.
Yes, I called my dinner jank. I ordered the pumpkin ravioli which was served with hazelnuts and cranberries. While the ravioli itself was perfectly tasty, it was served with a hell-spawn of a hazelnut sauce. It was bitter and sour and all around undesirable. Both AuntLifeSaver and I couldn’t decide if it was drowning in some sort of lemon juice or vinegar. What we did know is it was hideous and it totally ruined the dish. I was actually shocked that the chef conceptualized and tasted this dish and deemed it fit to serve; it was an affront to my tastebuds. It really was a shame because everything about Tallula was great except for this one glaringly painful misstep. When I reflect all I can think is THE SAUCE. OH GOD, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME EAT THE SAUCE. NO MORE WIRE HANGERS. It was like a perfect day on the beach thats leaves you with a sunburn or a wonderful date ending with a sloppy kiss. You cannot even remember the good parts because the bad parts are so, so abysmal.
Am I being dramatic? Perhaps…hyperbole is my middle name after all. I think my visit to Tallula has taught us all a very important lesson: that one huge misstep can sully a whole meal. Sorry Tallula, you are dead to me.
I had a perfectly marvelous meal at Tallula just a couple of weeks ago. I really did have amuse bouches that consisted of 2 bytes (phyllo-wrapped shrimp and a mushroom roulade). After that was some of the best trout I’ve ever eaten in my life. One of my dining companions also had the trout and agreed that it was terrific. And she’s usually pretty hard to satisfy. We had cheese for dessert and agree that it was excellent. My wife had the same pumpkin ravioli dish that you had and she said that it was perfectly wonderful. She described the sauce as “tangy”, but said the dish was incredible even though she’s not a huge pumpkin ravioli fan.
I would go back to Tallula in a heartbeat. I’m really sorry you had a bad experience there. Perhaps the chef had an off night, or perhaps you just had a different chef than we did.
Thanks for chiming in, Gilhali. Good to weigh the bad with the good. Different strokes for different folks and all that but both AuntLifeSaver and I really hated the sauce.
I’m unfamiliar with the word “jank” … “jerk” + “dank” = jank? I’m having trouble with this concept …
Eh, it is slang…urban dictionary has a few definitions but crappy seems a good one.
I went to Tallula a few times, way back when, and I always felt that it was…meh. Not great, not awful, just meh. The atmosphere is nice, and the service was always fine, but I never left with a wowed feeling. Plus, the restaurant has a wonky location that’s hard to get to without a car, so I didn’t make a lot of effort to return.
That said, EatBar is a cool place to grab a drink, and they have some nifty events from time to time.
EatBar does have some cool events like Movie Night and Wii Bowling night.
Hmm..I don’t think I could even eat pumpkin ravioli.
Really? If done right, it is really good.
The bar is good, perhaps even great late into the evening. Tallula? Meh…I haven’t been that impressed the times I’ve gone. Not that I probably won’t go again, but if I do I’ll stay away from the pumpkin ravioli.
Few things worse than a downer meal you have to pay for.
I would go back to EatBar for sure, I agree.
You and I share the same feelings re Milk. Even better, go rent the 20 some-odd year old documentary called the Times of Harvey Milk. Brilliance.
Your story reminds me of gnocchi with a lemon sauce (refinishing furniture, anyone?) that still gives me nightmares.
God, it was tooo long. I don’t mind long movies, but some of it was unnecessary where I feel there were some plot threads that deserved more attention. And I GET IT with all the symbolism. I think Milk had an inspiring life so I do have to check out the documentary; I hear it is fantastic.
NO MORE WIRE HANGERS.
It’s moments like this that make me KNOW you are my soulmate.
No doubt about it, darling.
Hyperbole is one of my favorite middle names. And sorry to hear about your sucky experience. Not to criticize your choice, but just the idea of hazelnut cranberry sauce icks me.
I think it sounded really interesting…but different strokes and all that. It tasted lie ass on a cracker so big fail.
Random thoughts - is “meh” the new “whatever”? All of a sudden everyone is yiddish?
Wii bowling = cool? You need to get out more.
I think a pattern is emerging whereby one can postulate that when Lem orders cheese with her meal she is going to walk away feeling dissatisfied with the experience. To counter this I will leave you with another maxim to guide your dining experiences, one which I am certain will make Lem a perennially happy diner. When faced with a choice simply think WWJO (what would jman order for those not as egomaniacally myopic as me). You will be happy and what you cannot eat I will. A win win situation.
Well, bettyjoan is Jewish, but you are right…it is trendy. And I love Wii bowling. It is some good wholesome fun. I don’t think I can trust WWJO if you are not on board with the Wii bowling.
I wonder if you got over-sauced. A little goes a long way.
A possibility. Whatever it was, it was bad….
Real bowling is good wholesome fun. Wii bowling is like phone sex, no substitute for the real thing and emblematic of today’s age where people would rather have a virtual experience than engage in some reality.
This ends the pontificating part of the response.
Reality scares me and you cannot catch the clap from phone sex.
A sauce can make or break it something so easily. I get depressed when the food is great, but the sauce is everywhere and ruins it. yuck yuck
Goes to show that every element is important.
I hate sauce on anything. Put it on the side wankers. And I’m so impressed with the choices of restaurants you have. Even though it sucked, what fun to try them!
Some sauce is great, but not this stuff. And yes, we are pretty lucky.
Damnit. I hate cleaning tea I’ve snarfed off my keyboard after laughing.
“Jank” Well played, Lem.
I wonder if they burned a hazelnut while roasting/toasting when making the sauce, and the line cook, assuming all was well, failed to taste the sauce.
I am virtually passing you a paper towel. Also, I have had a burned nut…this was not the taste of a burned nut.
I get that same sauce issue when they put raspberry sauce on any/every thing chocolate. Invariably, if I forget to mention it, they will ruin chocolate torts, cake ect. For those of you that like this combination, good for you. For me it is the equivalent of Lem’s cheese plate smothered in coconut.
Ha. Yeah, people feel strongly pro or con the raspberry sauce. Gotta keep one eye open.
I can’t even pretend that what I do over a stove is marvelous. But I still understand that disappointing food forges stiff memories. There is a small handful of places I just won’t give another chance.
I will be at Eat Bar again if given the opportunity, but bye bye Tallula.
I tried to have brunch there once. Meh is right. But we had booze, which makes everything better.
It always does manage to take the edge off.
It’s funny how that is. I know you love Central, but they’ve failed to salt my frites twice and despite the other really delicious stuff I’ve had there, it continues to piss me off.
Beyond the obvious inedible meal, like your tullala experience, there is also the “too expensive for what I got” experience. Where in, the meal is good, but costs too much. Which will also black mark a place. I had a nice piece of halibut at Kinkead’s once, but at $33, it was just not worth it.
I know-Central does under salt the fries but I can forgive that since there is a salt shaker on the table. Too much money also pisses me off. Agree re Kinkeads.
I agree. Nick and I went to Tallula for my birthday one year and spent way to much money for a very uninspiring meal. Those little corn dogs are yummy though. The wine list, however, was excellent.
If you must go to those restaurants, just go to Eat Bar, have the corn dogs and other appetizer type items, and have a few great glasses of wine. No need to waste time and money next door.
Yes, corndogs and good wine is all a girl needs. Could not agree more.
it always amazes me when chef’s want to fantasize and then ruin a good experience. maybe they need a visit from gordon ramsey tv show to try and tell the chef: simple is the way to go.
Yes. More is often less.
Oh, we had something like this at the last restaurant I worked at, ‘cept it was lobster poutine (why not try and comflate all the Canadian dishes into one?) Luckily it didn’t have maple syrup on it, but the addition of hollandaise sauce AND cheese curds with braised oxtail on the fries made it a heart attack in a bowl… and not even a good one. Le gross.
(And no, I never actually did eat it. The oxtail was enough to keep me and my veggie ways out, but the lobster was the icing on the cake. Which I’m amazed they didn’t add to the dish, now that I think about it.)
Yeah, that seems like an orgy of food. Damn. I think I will pass.
Wow…dead to you? Those are strong words. You sound like a judge on Top Chef.
Justice is swift with me.
Tallula is one of our favorite places for brunch. Good food, good prices, never crowded.
Did “Milk” cover his use of People’s Temple drones as campaign volunteers?
It did not cover that.
And maybe it is never crowded because it is subpar?
Vinegar, really? That sounds kind of rough. I will keep this off the list.
Off the list it shall go.
I liked Penn, too, but you’re right. It’s like WWTDD wrote the other day, I would have rather watched actual milk for two hours.
Seriously? What was all the fuss about? Could have been so much better.
that’s dissapointing! but really, it only takes one small thing like that, and, welp, parties over.
It was one spectacular fail…
“Tallulah! Tallulah! What kind of name is Tallulah?
That’s my mother’s name.”
Damn, I just quoted Cool Runnings. I know where the door is. I’ll go now.
P.S. I went to Eat Bar once, I got a burger, it was good.
Cool Runnings? Wow. Just when I thought we could forget Doug E Doug.
Hazelnuts have - or should have - a wonderful flavor. Screwing them up like this is a real lunkhead mistake.
Peter
Oh, the cousin of the “it’s so crowded it must be good” argument. Then how does one explain the Cheesecake Factory and Olive Garden?
I think the brunch isn’t crowded because of the location and because they don’t have a buffet, which people seem to love for lord knows what reason. Or perhaps it’s just my tastes that are subpar.
Hey, I didn’t say that. I say location plays a role.
Yesterday I stayed quiet about your overstatement about blueberries (please stop getting your scientific facts from Cosmo Girl) But an amuse bouche? Two bites? You must be kidding. It’s one bite, period. Please stop trying to “teach us” if you’re going to get your facts wrong time and time again. I know what wikipedia says, before you try to prove your point with that scholarly reference. It’s wrong.
Love you ansel. Seriously, I just want to stare in your eyes all night.
Ps-you are actually right about amuse bouche. I was wrong, I misspoke. I can admit that. There is some debate within the culinary community but the TECHNICAL definition is one bite. I just don’t understand why you have to be such an incredibly huge prick about everything.
And fucking Cosmo Girl? Really? I took a nutrition class in college and my professor passed the blueberry fact on. Blame her if it is wrong.
So I learned this term recently, it’s a ’seduction technique’ apparently coined by Mystery himself.
It is the ‘neg’, and I am getting a ‘neg’ vibe big time from ‘jman’.
You don’t have to approve this comment, but I had to share! I could not help myself!
I think jman is the least of my worries at this point. Thanks Bonnie.
I don’t think you’re being dramatic. There is nothing worse than going out to eat and getting crap food. Period. I’m not the type to eat out for ambiance.
I view dining out in this area as a giant list of possibilities and trying them all means I get to cross most of them off my list. It’s a winnowing process. I’m left with is a list of a-m-a-z-i-n-g restaurants that I love. That’s not so bad.
I don’t think that is so bad at all.
What’s wrong with a date leading to sloppy kisses?
Regarding the hazelnut sauce, the cook in my work cafeteria does that sometimes. Just slathers shit with lemon juice, even if totally inappropriate. It’ll render an otherwise pleasant repast inedible. Pumpkin ravioli is rather curious in and of itself, though.
Sloppy kisses? No thanks. Soft, sweet…even aggressive…but messy? I shall pass.
I would have sent the ravioli back declaring it inedible. I don’t often do that.
I should have..wonder why I didn’t.