The other day, I was chatting with Old Man, a college friend whom I met the first day of freshman orientation. I was 18, rocking a pixie cut hair, and innocently filled of wonder and hope that I would actually learn something of value in college. How foolish I was…Old Man was quiet and understated and we were quite the unlikely duo. I am now fully comfortable in admitting I badgered that boy in to our friendship, nagged him until he finally gave in and threw down the white flag of submission.
Old Man and I were chatting while at work, wondering what the hell we were doing with our lives, lamenting our jobs and our career development. We both did well in college and graduated with decent GPAs. I can say with full confidence that Old Man is one of the smartest people I have ever met, a stunningly talented writer and in possession of an astounding ability to comprehend difficult concepts almost instantly. But our job situation as of late? We both are pretty uninspired.
“Ugh, what is the point? This is killing me. I am so bored”, I opined.
“We went to college so we could secure white collar-esque jobs and get in to a club where we can sit on our asses for 75% of the day and get paid pretty handsomely. Oh, college… aka party as hard as you can for 4 years”, was his response.
“But God, did we fucking party. I don’t think there was a night where partying was off limits”, I nostalgically replied.
Oh, college, when my liver fails, I shall blame you. If it helps conjure an image, lay out the magnitude of the situation, Old Man played rugby and there wasn’t a party I didn’t attend. More nights than I care to remember were spent with us running around completely annihilated, knocking shit over, roaming the streets of DC, eating hot dogs out of a dirty cart, and ordering pizza as the sun rose. When I think of college, I can barely remember anything I learned in class, but I will never forget dawn breaking as we sat a the Washington Monument. I am rarely nostalgic for those days-I kept the good friends and life is much easier with a few extra dollars in my pocket-but it is those early, pizza filled mornings that always creep in to my mind when I am stuck behind my desk and wishing for a time when things were a bit simpler. I see my four boys, Old Man, Bawstin, InspectorG and Shady, and I cramped on one futon, barely awake and drifting in and out of a stupefied haze.
Yet, there is no more pizza at dawn in this adult world, but jobs that await us and obligations that must be fulfilled. On the weekends, we run errands (though admittedly still hung over a lot of the time) and do things like “brunch”. These scones were prepared for a brunch I hosted a few weeks back, and while they are no pizza, they are damn good. I took a very basic recipe from Cooking Light, spiced it up and added apples and the results were stellar. They were fragrant, flavorful, and not at all dry. Warm and slathered with butter, they were quite the treat and not nearly as difficult to make as it may seem. I’ve always had a bit of a scone phobia, but glad I overcame it to try these. As you can see, we didn’t even try to fool ourselves and just ate them straight off the board.
So, this is where I am…from pizza to scones in 5 short years. My body is thankful for it, but sometimes, not my mind.
Apple Spice Scones
Heavily adapted from Cooking Light
2 cups all-purpose flour (about 9 ounces)
3/4 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 ground ginger
3 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into small pieces
1/2 cup fat-free milk
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 large egg white
1/2 granny smith apple, finely chopped
2 teaspoons fat-free milk
2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Preheat oven to 425°.
Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, 3 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, baking powder, and salt in a bowl; stir with a whisk. Cut in butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse meal.
Combine 1/2 cup milk, vanilla, and egg white in a bowl. Add milk mixture to flour mixture, stirring just until moist (dough will be soft). Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Sprinkle surface of dough with apple. With floured hands, knead 4 times or just until the currants are incorporated.
Pat dough into an 8-inch circle on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Cut dough into 12 wedges, cutting into, but not through, dough. Brush 2 teaspoons milk over surface of dough; sprinkle with 2 teaspoons sugar and the cinnamon (which have been mixed together). Bake at 425° for 19 minutes or until golden. Serve warm, or cool on a wire rack.
You make a valid argument. I too ask, “what do I want to be when I grow up?” I still ask this after 8 years and 3 degrees later. I want to join the club and take a Friday afternoon off for a game of golf, then turn around and charge it to the company as a “networking event.” The white or even pale collar career path is definitely for me. I am currently working for a Pale collar establishment and just as you described, I am bored as hell. I long for the days when I could get totally lit and go surfing all day, with no care in the world. It is funny how we evolve and unknowingly decide to grow up.
Yeah, I sometimes wish I didn’t have to grow up. I love being an adult in a lot of ways, but sometimes, the grind is deadening.
More nights than I care to remember were spent with us running around completely annihilated, knocking shit over, roaming the streets of DC, eating hot dogs out of a dirty cart, and ordering pizza as the sun rose. When I think of college, I can barely remember anything I learned in class, but I will never forget dawn breaking as we sat a the Washington Monument.
Change as necessary the references to DC and the Washington Monument, and you’ve just described a fairly typical college experience.
@1 JP -
What is a “pale collar” job?
It was fairly typical, though my friends were not. Having had such an awful high school experience, I was happy to have typical.
I would only have scones at brunch and what is brunch without Mimosa’s? See some things don’t have to change.
I still have a glimmer of hope they don’t have to.
Peter
I would classify a “Pale” color job as one who is in a White Collar environment, but does not get to reap the rewards of a typical upper management or White Collar employee. It is typically reserved for those that do all the work for the White Collars, but do not receive just compensation for the work done.
In between Blue and White.
I have heard of pink collar, but never pale collar. Thanks JP.
I’m pink collar AND pale collar, then! The things I learn from this blog.
And I picture a college Lemmonex as one of those Japanese monsters, like Mothra, except drunk, and as destroying DC instead of Tokyo.
We are teaching here, Shannon. Mothra! HAHAHA. That made my day.
What the hell is pink collar? Female dominated (and many times lower paying) jobs: nurses, teachers, etc.
And why didn’t I do more drinking in college? You should have, though I bet you have more clear memories.
And why did I spend it screwing so many girls while my girlfriend wasn’t looking? Because you were a kid and testing your limits.
And why didn’t she notice? Eh, I would say there was a 75% chance she did, but just didn’t care. OR she was willfully blind.
And why do I like scones so much? Because they are delicious.
All questions that haunt me to this day.
Hope my wisdom helps guide you.
Oh Lemmy, my fountain of answers, recipes, and wisdom.
Don’t forget baked goods…
Some things are best relegated to “college years” as we move on and try to learn how to be adults, a life-long education as it is! It’s a good thing college lasted just 4 years for many of us…
Yes, there is a lot I HAPPILY leave behind.
I was thinking about this the other day. I can’t *believe* how much I used to eat and drink during college. Now, I eat too much or drink too much and it takes me three days to recover. Age. Sigh.
These look delicious. I think I shall try them this weekend, thank you.
Seriously, the amount is staggering, isn’t it?! And we all know my weight struggles, but honestly, I am confounded I didn’t weight more.
Let me know what you think!
I have one word for you, love: graduate school.
Most “real” jobs-the ones where you get to make decisions and policy-in D.C. require some sort of professional degree, a master’s at least and prfereably an MBA or JD.
I know, but I don’t know what I want to do! Well, I want to write, or plan, or be a flipping make-up artist, but those dreams are hard to make happen.
Micheal- I would argue that DC is probably one of the last cities in America where you can make a fortune with little more than a Bachelor’s degree. Since politics is connection-based as opposed to knowledge-based(unfortunately), a combination of hard work, luck in landing with the right member of congress/administration, and good timing can lead to a jaw droppingly lucrative career in the lobbying world that has little to nothing to do with your status or amount of education.
It’s not a perfect theory. There are obviously many jobs where degree counts, but the political world is not really one of them. Sure being a lawyer can help, but it doesn’t have to. And one can always scare up an MPA and the quality of the institution acquired is usually meaningless.
Oddly enough, college for me wasn’t about a degree at all. As a relatively sheltered child growing up and then getting dropped into the social shark tank of a small New England school, college was about learning social skills. Often while blindingly drunk.
Lem, how you can stand to bake in the summer, I will never know.
I agree with you, Bates. I am thinking about my most successful friends, and I think two of them have advanced degrees. Like you said, it is more hard work, who you know and how savvy you are. In fact, taking a few years off the get a Masters is a risk as it disconnects you from your contacts and the inner workings of the political scene. I myself stumbled in to where I am through a lot of luck and proving myself as “a tough broad” and hard working.
And, my ability to bake in the summer is one of life’s many mysteries.
Thanks for the apple spice scones recipe! I’ve made some scones myself but haven’t had the opportunity to put them up as yet. I’ll try to do so in a few days
Cheryl
Hope you like ‘em!
A flipping makeup artist? Like, you’d do gymnastics while putting on my eyeliner? Because I would TOTALLY pay for that.
For some reason, I was trying not to say fuck. Dunno why.
And a gymnast applying eyeliner could really poke their eye out!
Which is why I would pay extra for the gymnast!
You big spender!
I’m new, so don’t know if this has already been discussed. But what about a different job or different city? I felt similarily before changing jobs and finding something I liked.
Different job…I really love my life here in DC. And welcome!
What the hell is pink collar?
Female dominated (and many times lower paying) jobs: nurses, teachers, etc.
Correct about the female dominated and lower paying parts, but usually the term applies to clerical-type office jobs. Nursing and teaching may be female dominated but can pay surprisingly well (my wife’s a nurse and my mother was a teacher for almost 40 years, so I know of whence I speak).
Lately, due to the severe nursing shortage, nurses has been a lucrative career, but it has not always been the case. Also, for teachers, depends on where you teach. But yes, clerical jobs as well, good point.
BatesHorn: Point taken. A graduate degree is not the absolute key to the kingdom on the Hill, unless you’re headed for a top committee slot. But off the Hill I know of very, very few successful folks without at least one professional degree, even if it is an MPA. But, yes, your point is valid.
The hill and campaigning…also, journalism, which a lot of DC types work in, does not require a grad degree.