I’ve been inspired by the talented Shannon to finally do a FAQ. Below are some questions I have received in comments, emails and from my family and friends. Pretend you care.
Where does the name “Lemmonex” come from?
It is an oddly common mangling of my last name. My last name is not all that close to “Lemmonex”, but people are lazy and cannot be bothered to read. My actual, real life, full name is way cooler than Lemmonex but I fear my employers finding this blog, so I write under a pseudonym.
Do you ever blog drunk?
As I start most drafts at night, yes, about 70% of the time I am drunk. Thank God for mornings and their clarity.
You seem to talk about your weight a lot. Were you as heavy as you say? How fat were you?
I embellish from time to time, but never about my pants size. I don’t tell people my heaviest weight unless I trust them. I have learned to not trust the internet. Losing so much weight is the hardest thing I have ever done, emotionally and physically. I talk about it a lot because it is my reality and my struggle.
Your hair. What the fuck. Are you that obsessed with it?
Yes.
Are you as sensitive and vulnerable as you appear?
My feelings are generally written all over my face and my heart painfully pinned on my sleeve. I am only recently coming around to acknowledging this; part of growing up means I can admit I am both strong and sensitive. Someone recently said that the risk of wearing my heart on my sleeve is I put a lot of trust in people that they won’t hurt me. I see this risk and I contemplate it every day; I trust everyone who stops by here to be honest, but to respect that I am real person with real feelings.
You are kinda bitchy sometimes, yo.
Like I said, my feelings are on open display. One person’s honest is another person’s bitchy. People are never in doubt where they stand with me. Sometimes I wish I could just shut my damn mouth, but I have accepted my candor is one of my charms. I can be painfully forthright, but to balance it out, I try to tell my friends how much I love them on a regular basis. No one ever died from too much love. For those of you who have received a tongue lashing from me, you know you had it coming.
You talk about sex a lot. It is embarrassing. Can you tone it down?
Sorry Mom. No, I won’t.
Do you have any formal culinary training?
Nope. Compared to the bulk of cooking websites, the stuff here is pretty basic. I started Culinary Couture to push myself in the kitchen; I wanted to try new cuisine and attempt some original recipes. Cooking isn’t all truffles and molecular gastronomy; sometimes you just want dinner.
Will you go on a date with me?
Depends. Are you emotionally unavailable? Will you hold me at arms length? Does commitment scare you? If so, yes. A thousand times yes. You are just my type.
Feel free to ask any questions in the comments, just be ready to accept that some things are off limits for me. As much as it seems I share here, there is a whole lot more I keep to myself.
Aw, doll, thanks for the compliment! Commitment freaks me out - we should totally date.
The thing is, it kinda freaks me out too. Hence me seeking out commitment phobes. I am healthy like that.
“Are you emotionally unavailable? Will you hold me at arms length? Does commitment scare you? If so, yes. A thousand times yes. You are just my type.”
Yeah, but I’m not really ready for a relationship right now. It has nothing to do with you, I’m just in a weird place right now. But if you’re willing to date me and wait for me to open up to you, while offering you no emotional support (and not understanding why you look to your girlfriends for solace), and after a year or two, break up with you and end up marrying the next girl I date after only a few months of dating, then okay…
Okay, here’s a question for you: If you could go back in time and tell your past self (at any age) something, what advice would you give her? And do you think she would listen.
Thanks for crushing my dreams, HIN. I had high hopes for our future together.
If I could go back in time, I would tell teenage Lemmonex that it is ok to be different. Don’t stop speaking your mind. People may find you crass and loud and kind of strange now, but when you are an adult, this will help you stick up for yourself and set yourself apart. That some people may not like your personality, but at least you have one. That one day it will be a heck of a lot easier. That who you are is pretty decent.
Also, don’t pick your skin. It leaves a scar.
I doubt I would have listened to either.
Depends. Are you emotionally unavailable? Will you hold me at arms length? Does commitment scare you?
now what sane, normal, well-adjusted man could possibly meet those stringent criteria?
Oh, Roissy…I know I ask too much.
If we see you at a bar and recognize you from reading this, are we allowed to say hi? This happened to me but I didn’t want to blow your cover if you didn’t want it blown. And that’s a lot of using the word “blow” in a context not often used on this blog.
Yes, of course. Say hi. I am a friendly gal and my friends know I blog. I would love to meet people who read. God, I hope I looked ok the night you saw me.
Here’s one for the FAQ (though I already know the answer):
I tried out one of your recipes and it was awesome/horrible/really tricky. Do you want to know all about it?
Yes, definitely. Feedback is great because maybe I can pinpoint where you went wrong or I can clarify a recipe.
If you were trapped on a desert island (I know I know cliche)…what item of food could you eat all day long for every meal?
Let’s temper the question with this…you have an endless supply of various drink flavors (for me that would change the food choice, not sure about you…but I think our clonish personalities might mean it would for you too)
….GO!
One item? Jesus…can I do one drink item, one meal item and one dessert item? I am going to say I can.
Desert island changes things, because it is warm. If I was stuck on an arctic island things would be different, but here we go:
Drink: Ruby Red Absolut and Tonic
Meal: Asian Salmon with Brussel Sprouts
Dessert: Key Lime Pie
What’s your current top:
1) Fancy restaurant
2) Casual restaurant
3) Cheap restaurant
in DC? And why?
Oh boy…let’s see if I can keep this brief.
Fancy: Vidalia. I love their shrimp and grits and their church tea is to die for.
Casual: It is a tie between Ray’s the Steaks and 2 Amy’s. The hanger steak is $20 at Ray’s and it is some of the best beef you will ever taste. It is a pain to get there but way worth it. 2 Amy’s not only has fantastic pies but stellar deviled eggs and a great wine list.
Cheap: We can go a few ways here. I love Moby Dick’s for a flavorful chicken sandwich. Baked and Wired in Georgetown has the best sweet treats in the city. Who doesn’t love the greasy burgers at 5 Guys? Thai Tanic has awesome Thai at great prices and the Super Grilled Cheese at Stoney’s makes my heart sing.
Do you ever wear undergarments as outerwear?
Might you be referring to the leopard bra/black shirt combo a few weeks back? You know the answer to this. You loved it.
you seldom if ever discuss wine pairings with your recipes, is that an area of interest for you? Since you listed your desert island cocktail already, I may already have my answer but I am curious.
You are right. I wish I knew more about wine, but it has never really captured my interest. I have contemplated taking a class from time to time, but I always get distracted by something sparkly. I know what I like and I tend to stick to it. My friend Cinderella is fantastic with wine and usually points me in the right direction. This is one of many reasons I keep her around.
Might this FAQ turn up as a page instead of a post at some point?
~T~
That’s a good idea.
I am completely unavailable, which makes me perfect for you. What an amazing life we will have together. You will write funny/sad/introspective stories complete with recipes for yummy food and I will write semi-literate comments with thinly veiled innuendo.
You are one of the most constant men in my life right now, FA.
“Will you go on a date with me?
Depends. Are you emotionally unavailable? Will you hold me at arms length? Does commitment scare you? If so, yes. A thousand times yes. You are just my type.”
hahaha…everyone has a match out there somewhere.
My match is in a support group.
“Are you emotionally unavailable? Will you …”
You forgot, “do you have visible scars?”
Right! I was only focusing on the emotional scars. Physical ones also desired!
Reply to #8…Pictures please.
If any of you guys who email me, ask for pictures, comment here…etc. actually met me, I think you would be sorely disappointed. This is all very flattering, though. Keep on idealizing me.
Plus, the pictures are for K’s eye’s only.