Back to Good

October 1, 2009

You know, yesterday I really started to worry I was losing my touch. I was all smiley and happy and then I held a baby and my god damn heart nearly melted. Seriously, this baby…her red hair and her little rosebud mouth and dark blue eyes. It nearly killed me. And seeing [...]

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The Circle

September 30, 2009

Dear Baby Lebowski
Hey, Baby Girl! I am your Aunt Lexa. I am not your aunt through blood, but through loving your mommy and daddy like they are family. You are now my family, too. Kid, you have no fucking idea how excited I have been to meet you.
By the way, I swear…a [...]

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Listen to Me

September 29, 2009

If you live in the DC area, you should have taken a cooking class at Hill’s Kitchen by now.
I know it is very know-it-ally of me, but I love telling people what to do. I like to think of myself as an alpha. So do it. Go take these classes.
Need to improve your [...]

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I am Dying

September 28, 2009

I am so tired.
Tired to the point where I feel like I am on the brink of hysteria.
This weekend was worth it, though.
I had an awesome time in Cleveland. I ate like a king, danced my ass off, and drank like a rock star.
I am too tired to even think about posting about [...]

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Baby You Can Drive My Car

September 25, 2009

The other day I asked Maxie a very serious question.
“Max, we can sing along to music on the trip, right?”
“Yes, my panda, we can”, she said. She calls me her panda. I like it.
Have you ever been in a car with a radio nazi? Either they are turning it down or flipping [...]

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Shorty Got LOW

September 24, 2009

Last night my good friend Bawstin invited me to be his date to a fancy type event in DC.
His wonderful wife, an OBGYN who has real and important life responsibilities, had to work and as I have known him for more than ten years, I tend to become the backup, platonic woman in his [...]

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Have Not

September 23, 2009

I’m not the kind of girl who will pretend to care about the football game just to impress a guy.
I’m not ever going to have a poker face.
I’m not capable of eating without some sort of spill.
I’m not poised or appropriate.
I’m not going to apologize for telling you to go fuck yourself.
I’m not ever going [...]

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There is No Quahog, RI

September 22, 2009

Someone out there tell me what there is to love about The Family Guy.
Really, I don’t get it. Every time I watch that damn show I just walk away wondering what I am missing.
The pauses, they drive me insane. It seems far too taken with its own cleverness and believe you me, I [...]

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This is What a Feminist Looks Like

September 18, 2009

Scene 1
Server: How do you want your steak cooked?
Me: Rare please
Server: You know that’s red in the middle, yes?
———
Scene 2
Server walks up to table, places turkey burger in front of me and beef burger in front of my male companion.
Me: Are you trying to tell me something? The beef is mine.
———-
Scene 3
My (female) friend [...]

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Random Thoughts, Rainy Thursday

September 17, 2009

1. What won’t Meatloaf do for love? I know what the answer is for a lot of women, but the question is more complex for me.
2. If you are an able bodied man who does not give up his seat for a visibly pregnant woman I will judge you and then shame you on [...]

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