I must admit that when I watch shows like “Half Ton Mom” and “Half Ton Virgin”, I find myself conflicted. As I am drawn to human spectacle and gritty medical programming, I have a hard time saying no to these vignettes of true suffering. Without fail, I always feel a bit queasy afterwards.
As someone who has struggled her whole life with her weight–and has been on both the losing and winning ends of the battle–I understand these people. I can completely imagine getting that large; in my heart I believe I can put away 5,000 calories a day and I have done my damnedest to achieve this task at times. I have an amazing ability to power through the uncomfortably obvious moments of overcosumption in order to stuff more food in my face. Food, to me, is one of life’s true joys. Add to the mix my practice of using food as an emotional crutch and a coping mechanism and there I have it; a literal recipe for disaster lays at my feet.
But what I hate about these shows is how damn smug it makes me feel. How can people let themselves go like this? When these people are making their own clothes because they cannot even be purchased in stores, why don’t they stop? When they have to quit their jobs because they can no longer move, why don’t they cry uncle? If they cannot enjoy their children, why don’t they make some changes? I watch these shows and I commend myself. I feel proud I am not that big, that I righted my path, that I can still pass as average even when I am in the trenches with my weight.
I’ve never watched “The Biggest Loser” until this season and I don’t really know why I started. Boredom? Poor programming? A sick schadenfreude? I watched last night as they tortured folks with food, waving candy in front of their faces. They shamed folks with replications of the pre-Biggest Loser meals, mocking the calorie counts on the plates. The trainers screamed in their faces in an attempt to break them down. All the while, I really hated myself. I hated myself for feeling such a kinship with these people, yet feeling oddly superior at the same time. Watching it seems a particular exercise in self loathing I will no longer participate in.
Is life about being so fat you can’t move? Or so unhealthy you are one flight of stairs away from a heart attack? No, it most certainly is not. But I know it isn’t shame and every last M&M standing as some kind of final nail in the collective coffin. It really is about doing the best you can, every day. Some days you’ll reach for the chocolate and it isn’t emeshed with a greater meaning…but most days, hopefully, mercifully, you can find the strength it just eat your greens and make the right choices. The biggest part of life isn’t how much you can lose, it is what you have lost when every bite is a judgement.
Garlicky Kale
Splash olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
Fed pepper flakes, to taste
6 cups kale, cleaned
Salt and pepper
Sprinkle parmsan
Heat oil in large pan over medium heat. Add garlic and sautee for 2 minutes. Add red pepper flakes and stir several times. Add kale, salt, and pepper. Cook until wilted, about 6 minutes. Sprinkle with parmesan.
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Okay, Lem, I simply must reveal how delighted I am that you have a kale recipe. The dame vegetable haunts and taunts me. I’ve never understood it, nor felt it understood me. Now I can finally kill it properly and enjoy the aftermath. Thank you!
emma´s last blog ..When All the World’s Asleep
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Another friend recommended cooking kale as a great snack. I officially have to try it now. Sounds delish. I’ve very sensitive about shows like Half Ton Virgin. My mom is very obese and it makes me very sad and upset to see people like that. I wonder too how it could happen, but after seeing it happen to someone close, I know it’s possible.
Jessica´s last blog ..Challenge: Six easy recipes (part one)
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i could go on and on and on about the biggest loser, but i don’t want to bore you…
instead i’ll just state for the record i really need to try kale. i’ve been seeing kale chips recipes everywhere too. it’s a sign!
alexa – cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..overload fitness personal training offer
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I have very conflicted feelings about The Biggest Loser. I don’t even know where to begin. I will spare you.
Mainly I wanted you to know that I really liked this post. I’ve read older posts you have written and have seen pictures…you should feel more then proud. It sucks…the whole process of losing weight. I am trying to do it. No, I’m not going to be the Half Ton Non-Mom or on the Biggest Loser, but I still have my battle to fight. And, it feels more like a losing battle most days.
emily´s last blog ..for rent
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Wouldn’t you love to just be able to eat whatever and not worry about it??? God, when does that day come?
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I have never seen any of these shows but I understand where you’re coming from in regards to your feelings about such things. I struggle with my self-image daily but am determined not to use media representations as my benchmarks. I am learning to come to grips that as long as I am a healthy weight that that should be enough.
Also, kale is awesome.
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I struggle with “The Biggest Loser,” too. I read somewhere that the one trainer Jillian made some comment about how the contestants just keep getting bigger and bigger and how scary that is to her.
But, you said it best—every day is an accumulation of choices. Thank you for giving us a great recipe to add to our arsenal of answers!
Hannah´s last blog ..On being 29.
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In Lebanon we make something similar but with dandelions (picked before they flower) and we sautee it with onions. Really good and really healthy too.
I can’t say I would ever watch the Biggest Loser. But I know it is hard for some people to control what they eat. Everything is good in moderation and certain proportions. I know, easier said than done.
Marie´s last blog ..Picture Sum Up
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I haven’t been able to get into The Biggest Loser for exactly the reason you give: watching people genuinely broken — not made fun of for fist pumping, like on Jersey Shore for example, but really broken — just isn’t appealing. It’s a bit too raw.
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i made a similar side dish last night but with spinach and then swirled it into my carbonara….that makes it healthy right?
alliemarien´s last blog ..Southwestern Crab Spring Rolls
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You should feel proud, girlie! And even perhaps a bit smug. Because you MADE IT! You made the decision to take control of your weight and you continue to do that on a daily basis. It’s all about the decision. Coming from an alcoholic, I hear you and I commend you. I have the same problem with Intervention. And the two times I’ve watched The Biggest Loser, I get so anxious with all the yelling and shaming that I have to turn it off. That’s not right. That’s not how people get well.
k8´s last blog ..Ice, Ice Baby.
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This recipe also works with spinach. Not so much with collard greens, as they can be a bit tough.
I also make braised bok choi or cabbage starting this way, adding some broth and simmering covered until tender. Veggies done this way are your friend!
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I can’t watch that show. They produce it and manipulate it and twist it around to make it as “inspirational” as they can, but they don’t show the binging, the deprivation, and the extreme dieting. You could argue that people who are *that* overweight need extreme change, but it’s just another unrealistic expectation for an average person.
The Maiden Metallurgist´s last blog ..Lots Of Party Love
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Amen, dude. Amen. I adore you for writing this post. You can’t — or shouldn’t — shame yourself into being healthy. You need to be your biggest supporter, or else you’re just setting the stage for a relapse.
That Kind of Girl´s last blog ..TKOG Who stows away; plus, a semi-non-giveaway
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Yeah. I watch it too. I’ve been watching it since the 2nd season. And even after all I’ve been through, I feel disgusted and also smug. But I’m also envious. Right before I scheduled my surgery, I stood in line for a Biggest Loser audition. I drove 4 hours to do so and they cut off auditions before I made it to the front of the line.
Other people have commented that it feels too mean and that there’s too much shaming going on in the show. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t make claims about what will work and what won’t. Just like drug abuse, you have to hit a “bottom” to start to make yourself well. The Biggest Loser and being yelled at is a bottom for these people. Just because it’s not motivation for one person to be screamed at doesn’t mean it won’t work for other people.
Rachel´s last blog ..Three Years.
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i have similar thoughts about those shows. and the biggest loser… man, i hardly watch and when i do, i feel so… angry about it all.
i’ve never tried kale, so thanks for this recipe!
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Try roasting kale in a hot oven. Just brush with a little olive oil and add some salt and pepper when it’s done. It is amazing! (Learned this from my daughter, who never ate a green vegetable growing up!)
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I make a similar dish with spinach and instead of parm I drop in some currants at the end. It’s a nice contrast.
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I think you hit the nail on the head about those shows – I also feel a mixture of sympathy and superiority. In the end, I don’t think those shows do anything to change people’s attitudes about diet and weight loss, because they encourage us to pity the contestants and make them an “other,” rather than looking at ourselves.
Kale looks tasty.
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This post probably just saved me from going to Tonic for a burger tonight. For that, I thank you.
don’tthinkofthetotsdon’tthinkofthetotsdon’tthinkofthetots
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“The biggest part of life isn’t how much you can lose, it is what you have lost when every bite is a judgement.”
Love this. Great post!
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YUM. That looks great. And here’s to striving for health, and not beating ourselves up for any and every little foray into chocolate.
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I know EXACTLY what you mean. Watching shows like that makes me feel simultaneously smug and guilty. Why do I watch them, again? Oy.
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Some of my favorite moments in life have been those spent with food. An all inclusive resort where we challenged each other to see who could eat more and how often per day (there was mayo and fries at every single meal). The day I started eating at 1pm and literally never stopped until 2am. The Carnival Cruise stations. The Primanti Brothers sandwiches. You get me.
I also have the capacity to be 500lbs – no doubt about it. And like you, I watch these shows disgusted by these people. PUT THE FUCKING FORK DOWN. I can’t stop watching though, it makes me feel better about my “will power”. About my sense of superiority. And, if anything, I can always give myself a pat on the back and say “You’ve done well.” Because, in the long run, we’ve done well.
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I can’t watch the Biggest Loser…I just have too many issues with it.
KALE yum! Perfect since I’m a vegan now. STRESS.
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sounds good hope to try it
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i think this will be healthy wanna try it
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