Let me tell you a little story.
A few weeks ago my dear friend, Irish Lebowski, had a birthday. Now, you may remember that Irish had a baby a few months back. She is delightful, that Baby Lebowski.
I mean, look at her. She is wearing a monogrammed leopard print onesie I bought her. At this point I am a parody of myself but I really don’t care. SHE IS PERFECT.
Irish is kicking ass and taking names as a mom. I am not shocked, but still so impressed. For her birthday, we decided to go out, have a girls night, finally have a few drinks, and leave Baby L with her dad. We were quite excited. It was to be my treat as it was a celebration of many things.
So, as we are drinking, eating and chatting, I notice Irish is distracted. She keeps on looking away and I feel sympathetic. I am sure she is missing her daughter and hoping all is going well on first night away from the baby. I overlook it as she is generally pretty engaged in the conversation.
She finally interrupts me and says, “I am so sorry. I just cannot stop watching the people behind you making out.”
I whipped around and quickly discovered she was being charitable in her description of making out. These folks were mauling each other. Her leg was wrapped over his. They did not eat off their own forks the whole meal. I was concerned he was going to gnaw her face off. It was insanity. They were adults in their mid thirties acting like horny freshman at frat party.
Look, I have made out at a bar or two. Sometimes, the booze takes control and you want to have a silent conversation with someone’s tongue. I get it. But this was an expensive restaurant. When all was said and done, we dropped about $250 there. This was…too much.
I turned a few times, trying to shame them. I gestured at the server and she shrugged her shoulders in acknowledgment. Irish shot more than a few shocked looks in their direction. They persisted, proving themselves to be the Energizer bunnies of public displays of affection.
I don’t want to name the place just yet. Plus, it deserves a review about the food, service and ambiance. I don’t want to tie the shenanigans of some toolish patrons in to the whole review, but the trip was a bit tainted by them. It was ridiculous, I think we can all agree on that.
Here is what I have been pondering: what is the restaurants responsibility here? Should I have said something to the maitre de? Am I over reacting? Have I become a prude? Am I just jealous because no man has ever showered me with an expensive meal and slobber?
Should I just chill the eff out?
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Never has the old adage ‘get a room’ been more appropriate, right? if it bothered you and put you off your food i would say you should have said something to the Maître D but if it’s just a bit grossout and you could ignore it then ignore it. It’s not like you were the only people in the whole place; someone else could have stepped up and complained too.
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Spew. Unless you were dining somewhere where DC Kickball was having a post game drinking night, this is pretty unexcusable. Were you able to finish your pricey meal?
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This was an unquestionable failure of management. Two patrons were doing something that any reasonable manager knew or should have known was making a large chunk of her/his guests uncomfortable. S/he has a responsibility to act. What if one person was talking at the top of their lungs on a cell phone the whole meal?
One table cannot be allowed to negatively impact the ambiance of the place, or the good time of other patrons, through their behavior. Good managers can and must resolve these kinds of situations and do so tactfully.
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They were adults in their mid thirties acting like horny freshman at frat party.
Ten bucks says they’re having an affair because it sounds like they haven’t gotten laid in a long time.
Typically, in a high end establishment the maitre d will have stepped in if it was an outrageous display. However, most places hire unemployed actors that wouldn’t know good service even if they method acted it on TV so it doesn’t surprise me. That’s when a patron, preferably a male, gets up and says something but that’s me and I’m old skool so….
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I completely agree that it’s the restaurant’s responsibility to say something. Unfortunately, they rarely do. I feel sorry for the server because obviously it couldn’t have been a comfortable experience for her to have to serve them and she really can’t say anything without ruining her chances of a tip. The manager should have said something. I don’t understand why people feel the need to lick all over eachother like that. When I was in high school, sure, I made out at the mall/ the movies/ whatever. But now, if I won’t do it in front of my parents, I don’t do it in public, so I barely hold hands with the boy.
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first of all you’re way too stinkin cute with the little baby irish. so adorable she is in her little leopard onsie. and you too with your rockin bangs…
but that wasn’t the point of this post, right?
no, i dont think you were being prudish. i would have felt uncomfy too. im with RR– it’s the responsibility of the management here to do something about this hornball of a situation. these two need to grow up, get a room, get a car, get a bathroom, whatever… just get out of sight if you’re going to be doing that.
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I would have done one of two things: 1) start throwing spitballs (or food, whatevs) or 2) grab a friend and try to out-do the make-out couple.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right? Be more obnoxious than they are, and perhaps management would take notice at the situation.
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I absolutely would have said something to the maitre de. Your $250 meal was every bit as important as theirs and, ew.
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Sad reality? Two guys doing that would get kicked out. 100%.
Not to get all high and mighty homo on you…but that’s what makes me frustrated when people get all third basey in public.
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Just A Girl Reply:
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am
Third basey might be my new favorite. Except sometimes it seems like they’re trying to steal home. Steal it and lick it and shove it in their pants and rape the hell out of it. Gross.
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BABY! All I see is the BABY! Damn nephew has spoiled me for decent conversation. And frankly, what happened at the restaurant? Blech. I probably would have gone over and asked if they were interested in a three-some – seeing as they were advertising for it. But that’s just me.
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That is completely inappropriate behavior. Maybe in a bar, where they primarily serve alcohol and food is an afterthought, is some milder form of this okay. But not in a good restaurant. I agree with everybody else that the manager or someone senior at the restaurant should have quietly said something. But there would have been nothing wrong if you went and complained.
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First off, that picture needs to be framed. I hope you’ve bought a gorgeous frame, had the picture printed and now it needs to be in that frame.
Second, that’s disgusting. No you are not being a prude at all. That sort of behavior will ruin most anyone’s night. If they want to make hot passionate love to each other, they can do so in the friggin’ bedroom. Not at a nice restaurant. I would have stared at them. Not glanced. Stared.
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I rarely find myself wanting to have a silent conversation with someone’s tongue while eating dinner. I don’t want the food particles to travel. Gross.
I don’t know if I think the restaurant has any responsibility or not. But I probably would have made some loud kind of rude comment myself. Because I do that.
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There’s a time and a place for that kind of make out sesh, and that place is a dark corner of a frat basement.
I don’t know if the restaurant has a place to say something to them, but they SHOULD. I’ve never had an excessive PDA couple around me, but I’ve definitely had some veryyy loud people that I wish the restaurant would shush for me.
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Someone definitely should have said something to the manager. The manager then should’ve either shut the couple down, or, failing to do that, comped a LOT for the people who brought it to his/her attention for being subjected to that.
Personally, if the management were unable or unwilling to do anything about the situation, I would’ve been sorely tempted to borrow a pitcher of water from the nearest busser, pour it on the couple, and leave silently (and with my bill directed to their table).
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Some things should only be done in a bed. The restaurant should have save said something, but, as someone else commented, they rarely do. At such a pricey establishment, it’s entirely inappropriate for diners to be so touchy-feely that they actually put off other customers.
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You should not have HAD to say anything. In an upscale restaurant, the management/maitre d’ should have taken care of that. You’re not a prude, that’s childish and ridiculous.
Two more things. GORGEOUS baby! (You and her) and I made the pumpkin bread pudding for Tgiving. YUM!
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The pic of you and Baby Lebowski is adorable! The leopard onesie was a great pick for her!
I agree with everyone who said that the restaurant’s management should have stepped in, but I wonder if he/they are regular patrons. My friend was a manager at the Ritz and told me about a political correspondent who would bring all his conquests to the bar and then take them up to the 2nd floor hallway for heavier activity. The guy was such a regular and such a big wig that no one ever told him that was inappropriate. I’m not saying that’s the right approach, though…
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Restaurants get away with telling patrons no children allowed, no smoking allowed, no cigars allowed, no sneakers allowed, no cell phones allowed, and no beanie hats or over-sized t-shirts or baggy pants, please, thank you very much. Surely, we can include no offensive public displays of affection to that list.
I’m 100 percent with RR on this one. Restaurant’s responsibility, plain and simple.
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So many things to say!!! First you look absolutely beautifuly with Baby Irish. You should get a leopard print frame for that picture.
Now for the groping couple. First, it is the managements responsibility to say something. Secondly, you should have said something to management since they didn’t take care of it and that would have A) shamed management in taking care of the situation and/or B) gotten the restaurant to comp your meal. I may have also told them that I was a food blogger and let them know that you would be blogging about this post. If they didn’t believe you could have just pulled out the old cell phone, i-pod, blackberry (whatever you have) and shown them some of your previous restaurant posts.
And of course I would have said something myself to the groping couple. You know I’m not afraid to do that. Hell I’m the person who will tell someone in a movie theater to be quiet. And don’t forget the time we were at Universal and I yelled at a couple of girls for carving stuff into the wood while we were waiting in line. Tons of people were staring at them and shaking their heads but I told them “we didn’t come here and pay all this money to watch you destroy this place” You and Don were petrified I was going to be attacked by the two girls later on…you were sure they were in a gang. Just like you didn’t pay all that money to watch them all over each other. It wasn’t like you were at a bar or McDonalds or something like that. Next time speak up, I know you can!!!!
Thank-you for your attention.
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I would’ve said something like “Hey Irish, You wanna make out, give them some competition?” Like REALLY loud. And then talk about how when you see tongues while eating it makes you want to vomit. REALLY loud. And then stumble over to their table and start dry heaving. And point at them…. it’s the tongues… the tongues! And if you’re really talented go on and vomit on their table.
That’s what *I* would’ve done
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It is shocking and disturbing behavior, but you kind of have to love it, because it gives you something to look at, laugh at and Blog about! I like to see OTHER people make asses of themselves. It makes me feel better about myself…generally speaking. Is that mean?
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Nope, not prude. People making out in a bar is a little gross, but I can tolerate it. People making out at a restaurant? ANY restaurant, let alone one where I’m paying a significant amount of money to be? NO. Absolutely not ok. I’m with everyone else – the manager should have said something to them. I can understand that it’s uncomfortable but if it made you feel icky, I guarantee others felt the same way.
If nothing else, it would have been totally appropriate for you to tell them “I’m sorry, but you’re making us very uncomfortable right now. Would you mind toning it down?” If they said no, then punch them both in the face.
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LOVE the blog – the recipes make me salivate but you have no idea how happy it makes me that they don’t all have 4299873429 calories – sometimes being a foodie and not obese really do not mix!!!
As for the restaurant, I say the maitre d’ should have asked if you’d like to move, or better yet, asked the couple if they’d like to move to a more private location…
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Love that pic!
Said restaurant should have encouraged the couple to restrain themselves. If they weren’t violating indecent exposure, I’d say that’s all the restaurant should do. If it were mine, I’d definitely push them.
If you just felt jealous, I’ll buy you dinner and slobber.
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I love this picture! You are both gorgeous!
As for the making out in a restaurant – I do think management should’ve stepped in, but in any case, how very bizarre. A bar is one thing, but a nice restaurant? I was on Cosi once after work and there was a couple making out to the point where one was lying on top of the other. We watched like it was a science experiment.
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“Sometimes, the booze takes control and you want to have a silent conversation with someone’s tongue.” –Favorite. Quote.
This is tough. I can totally hop on the bandwagon with Jane–say something to the manager, and he can offer to move you to another table. Otherwise, I feel that not much else can be done. During my 2 years serving at a Not Cheap Restaurant in DC, I got up close and personal with too many make out sessions in which I wasn’t a participant. With the extra egregious couples, I didn’t apologize for my presence–I mised steak knives and dessert spoons with intentionality, and would reach between them to make sure those water glasses never dropped below 75% full. I wanted to make them feel uncomfortable for their display, but I would never, in a million years, ask my manager to say something to them. If people like their duck and foie gras with a side of saliva, there aren’t any rules against it, and while I will gladly glare along with those offended guests, I would never physically or verbally pry them apart, nor would I ask my boss to do so.
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extra egregious couples, I didn’t apologize for my presence–I mised steak knives and dessert spoons with intentionality, and would reach between them to make sure those water glasses never dropped below 75% full. I wanted to make them feel I will gladly glare along with those offended guests, I would never physically or verbally pry them
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I have absolutely no advice to offer, but I thank you for making me laugh at your retelling of the experience and I would feel exactly as you do – with the same questions, obviously. xo
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I don’t have anything interesting to say and I’m not a frequent commenter so I shouldn’t really be saying this – but THAT BABY! What a charmer she is. Her smile and expression light up that photo. You look nice too, but the baby steals the show. They always do.
My Internal Aunt has gotten the better of me.
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Were they South American? Because people here make out wherever and whenever. It’s the most annoying when it’s smack in the middle of a crowded sidewalk and you’re forced to swerve into developing world no-rules, my-windshield-is-held-onto-my-sh*tty-car-with-Scotch-tape traffic.
If it wasn’t for the promise of a probably beatdown, I’d take the first punch down here…
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