Folks, we still have not received a definitive answer on this…time to revisit it.
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I am posing this question the morning I have a work conference because it is completely tasteless and sure to offend folks. I am eager to see the responses/prayers for me this afternoon.
That is not going to stop me from asking it, though.
Who do you think is better in bed, God or Jesus?
Things to think about:
- God is strong and powerful and won’t stop til s/he gets shit right.
- Jesus has seen some very sad stuff. He is a sensitive soul. I imagine he would really “value you”.
- God is not man nor woman…how does that work?
- Jesus is most likely covered in blood/scars—hot or not?
- What name do you call out more during coitus?
- God can probably read your mind.
- Your thoughts on long hair?
I had this conversation with several souls yesterday who I will not out. Let’s just say I am glad work cannot access my personal chatting. I have no idea how I started thinking about this. It is probably better that way.
Lastly, no, I still don’t know who I’d choose.
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Jesus is a sweet love maker; God is a good, hard fuck.
That feels really creepy to say. I’m so going to hell now…and I’m heavily agnostic.
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Oooh, you know what? I was 100% on the God side until you asked whose name I call out in bed — and I definitely call “Jesus” instead of “God” like 100% percent of the time. I was just thinking the other day what a weird, random thing it is that Jesus is my go-to bedroom call. But now I realize it’s just from a totally normal subconscious urge to sex him!
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Okay, so my first instinct, as an atheist, is to say…well, at least Jesus EXISTED as a person or whatever. So I’d go with Jesus. And I like long hair. Plus, he was banging Mary Magdalene all that time, so she must have taught him some tricks, right?
But then…well, to have sex with something imaginary. Oh wait. I do that all the time, when I dream about Jason Statham.
Yeah, I’m going with Jesus on this one.
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God all the way. Jesus just seems like kind of a whiner.
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I get fucked in the ass by life almost every day.
I presume that’s god, right?
I’ll go with Jesus. i need a change of pace.
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God is all things; meaning he would read your mind and immediately assume whatever form and whatever style of lover you most needed at the time. Jesus would just get you blitzed on wine and try to stick it in your pooper.
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God. He comes in so many forms. Big/small. Male/Female. Long hair/Short hair. Front or back door man.
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My instinct is to go with God, but that mind reading thing really is a deal breaker. We’d be all getting down and maybe sometimes its not so awesome and God’s all “You know you don’t actually need to make grocery lists in your head, you’re just gonna buy coffee creamer and whatever’s on sale anyway.”
And then we’d get into a big fight about why I was planning errands when I’m supposed to be basking in the wonder of boning God. I’d end up storming out, because you know what, it can’t always be bask-worthy. And then I’d cheat on Him by having a one night stand with Buddah.
So, I’ll go with Jesus.
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Oooh. Tough call. My first instinct — Jesus. Despite his otherworldly reputation, he really was the ultimate bad boy (at least for his time.) But whoever said that God could take any form and know exactly what you needed —- Hmmmm.
I went to Catholic school and all the nuns wear wedding rings because they’re married to Jesus/God. I wonder who they’d pick????
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I don’t know, but I feel some people are going find out how good a fuck Satan is in the future.
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I think I’d have to go with Jesus. Even though I call out “God” more often.
This debate is wrong on so many levels….
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Wait, Jesus and God are the same person, right? Its like a multiple personality deal, right? I’m down with that, I can relate to crazy.
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God hands down….he can be anyone you want him to be
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Jesus. He hung out with prostitutes so I’m sure he got the skinny on all the good tricks.
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God…Jesus thinks too much about other people. What about meeeee???
Besides, if he’d just stayed a damn Jew, I could take him home to my Grandparents.
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I remember this conversation from before – I czn’t remember what I answered though. So here is my fresh take on it – god, jesus and the holy spirit are all three one. so bring on the orgy.
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ha! this entry is amazing. my bf and i debated it over the weekend. having both gone to catholic school, we wondered why you left out the holy spirit. holy trinity threesome?! the numbers might not quite add up, but let’s just ignore that detail… and i just saw comment above, tina- great minds think alike:)
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I am anti-jesus for sexual preference reasons. For that, I go god. Plus, I hear god is sadistic and could possibly be in the female form. 2 things I like.
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How about both?
Yeah . .I went there . . .I’m greedy too . . .
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