Besides drunken binge eating, my favorite past time has to be swinging the ax of justice on Facebook.
We used to work together and we haven’t spoken in ages? Good bye.
Went on a few dates and now you have fallen off the face of the Earth? Nice knowing ya.
We shook hands at some networking event? Hasta la vista.
We went to high school together? Sure, I will accept your friendship because I am just as nosy as you are…then, you are out with the garbage.
Broke my heart? Now, this one is tricky. I’ll probably keep you around a good deal longer than I should so I can inflict an inordinate amount of unnecessary pain on myself. Plus, ya know, I am tough, so I have to prove I am the bigger person by keeping you around…then eventually, gone…bye bye.
Really, Facebook serves two purposes; online stalking and indulging my narcissism. And frankly, I am narcissistic enough to think that only a select group should stalk me and see just how awesome I truly am.
The rest? Have fun running your marathons/going to your parties/welcoming your babies/painting your house. There are plenty of people whose babies I actually love. I don’t need you.
**A post by Just a Titch got me thinking about this.
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{ 41 comments… read them below or add one }
Hahaha! As I was perusing facebook just the other day, I was thinking the same thing. On with the purge, baby! I’m going to join you!
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I am queen of drunk de-facebooking. It’s so empowering, in a slightly pathetic e-way.
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I think Facebook should have several levels–Friends, Not So Friends, and Stalkbook.
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But isn’t facebook really all about the sheer number of people you can get to be your “friend”.
No?
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i do my fair share of “spring cleaning”…out with the old in with the new. and of course keep a few carefully selected individuals around forever
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I almost never de-friend anyone. Facebook friendship is so tangential that it just doesn’t seem worthwhile to me to clean house. It’s not like my 162 Facebook friends have spare keys to my apartment, are listed as emergency contacts on my work file, or would bail me out of jail. They’re just…there.
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I think my least favorite thing about Facebook are people I know who insist on posting constant photos of their kids. Yay for you you reproduced! The rest of us don’t care.
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A-freaking-men.
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I only de-friend when I absolutely hate someone– that way they KNOW i mean business.
Or they probably never notice since no one i-stalks as much as I do.
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Thank you. THANK YOU. I’ve actually de-friended quite a number of people because they got on my nerves.
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I love your approach, and you are so very correct.
Voyeurism is the only thing that drives me on FB. Because otherwise, I’m dealing with a lot of “Tier 2″ personalities I have no time for.
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I’ve never done an all-out purge, but a remove a “section” of people from time to time. I should do one though, cause some days I think I’m going to scream if I see one more “Sally Somebody and Joe Johnson are engaged!”
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Ugh, I sooo agree with you. I really need to clean out my FB friends. Largely because I am so damn sick of their stupid updates popping into my news feed. I’m sure there’s a way to change that, but I’m too lazy to go figure out how to change all that preference crap.
Hence, de-friend.
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yay for purging! simplify, simplify, simplify
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I not only un-friend people, I BLOCK them. SO THERE! You piss me off, you’re BLOCKED.
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I was thinking to myself last night that I have seen way too many “Yay! Son/daughter pooped on the potty today!” status messages lately. I may need to borrow your ax of justice and do some swinging myself.
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I’m super selective about who I add on Facebook.
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i have way too many fb friends. Want to clean out mine?
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Dude, man, I’m seriously impressed with the highly judicious nature with which you defriend the frig out of people. I always wish I could do it, but occasionally I like to go into full-stalk mode, and I figure the only thing worse than keeping my high-school rock-star boyfriend as a fbook friend is removing him and then drunkenly re-requesting his fbook friendship one night…
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I don’t get “The ‘Book.” I’m only 26 and that makes me sound so old.
Are you leasing your axe of justice? I would take good care of it and bring it back in one piece.
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I too am guilty of this. I just went on a huge deleting rampage – what cracks me up is when you delete someone and they send you a friend message the next day wondering what happened.
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I’m 99% sure I’ve gotten the axe from you before but have since been REfriended. I take that as a bigger accomplishment than the original friending. Like I passed a test. A test of awesome.
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I kind of totally judge people with “too many” Facebook friends. Like, there’s no way you actually have 1500 REAL friends. If I would feel weird calling you (on the telephone) and seeing if they wanted to go to a party with me, we ain’t friends.
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I clean house every so often… usually just two or three at a time. I try to keep it to people I like and keep in touch with. Sometimes I let coworkers in, and then secretly de-friend them a few months later when they won’t notice
There’s one chick I went out with that I can’t de-friend because her feed is too ridiculously entertaining (zany thoughts, hot pics of her, funny pics from the interwebs, etc.) even though I really kind of want to since she’s really stuck up…
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I’m wicked choosey about who I facebook in the firstplace. I’ve refused friend requests from people I’ve just met or nearly random acquitances many times. As such, I’ve very little need to defriend folks, although I did dump a pretty good friend from highschool who posted his antipathy to gay marriage.
Alot of these people are distant acquitances. I like knowing they are there, but I don’t follow their lives closely. I see no reason to defriend them. If they are wicked chatty, I block their feed.
I do have some friends who are parents of my kid’s friends, and some of them suck, but community peace dictates you have to suffer them with a smile.
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Thank you for keeping me!!! I really appreciate it.
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I passive-aggressively defriended someone by posting status updates that made fun of her status updates (hippy dippy self help speak) until she cracked and de-friended me. But I’ve never had the balls/inclination to do it outright.
Although I thought about it when a friend wrote about her son pooing on the rug. But we’re friends in the real world, and I didn’t want to start any shit.
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I wonder why you keep me around… I’ve fallen off the face of the Earth for about the last 3-4 months. However, I am slowly resurfacing and won’t be so wishy-washy with making plans and actually leaving my house.
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I’m pretty judicious about friend requests I accept so the only people I ever defriend are exes that I don’t see anymore. Thats probably I get inordinately bothered when I see that I have 1 less friend than I had the day before.
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I also love the power of ignore. I feel as though I should be grown up enough to be over someone being mean to me for 3 years in high school. But then I realize I’m not obligated to accept their fake internet friendship. IGNORE!
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I’m guilty. I’m a Fbook nosey nancy as well.
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I don’t de-friend, I just let it be. Why waste the energy of de-friending… the few times I have tried, those same people came crawling back, asking for the facebook friendship again and I relented.
Now, I don’t even use FB… the only thing I do is accept friend requests, check in on friends out of the area once in a while, and occasionally a picture post (or god forbid tagging in some random picture I didn’t know about).
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Just checked to see if I made the cut. I’m glad
I gotta say, I don’t usually delete, but I will drop you from my newsfeed if you play a lot of mafia/vampire/farm games. Fuck your sheep, I say. Seriously. Who’s 30 and plays make-believe farm? (Answer: Everyone I went to high school with…)
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Marisa Reply:
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
When I found out I could block that crap from the newsfeed, I almost wept with joy.
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Is it bad that the first thing I did was to make sure I didn’t end up on the cutting room floor?
Thoughts re: when an ex-BF’s friends friend you (AFTER you have broken up)? Has happened to me more times than I can count.
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I kind of heart Facebook to be honest, only because it makes my work day fly by… lol but I agree, it really is a form of online stalking!
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You’re a stronger woman than I. My stalking habits always win out…
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Love this. I need to do some Facebook cleaning out as well.
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There’s just a huge amount of fun in doing this, isn’t there????
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Never really understood having 500 friends on facebook. That’s not what mine is for!
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Helllllzzz bellllzzz yeah!!!
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oh, Lexa, we’ve GOT to hang out!!! Je vous amie!!
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