Oh my mother fuck, why didn’t they ever tell me being an adult is often is a big pile of suck.
I didn’t intend for that to rhyme, but I am liking it. I feel like a naughty Dr. Seuss.
I don’t know who they are, but I need to figure it out. A strongly written letter is in their future.
What with the bills and the jobs and the shrieking alarm clocks and the pressures to be a good person and the daily desire to cut people who wrong you or besmirch your good name.
OK, maybe y’all don’t feel the need to cut folks regularly. That could just be me.
But really, it can be quite a pain sometimes, this life. I remember thinking, when I was just a little girl, that all the adults were having so much fun, that they were partying and eat cookies and drinking lots of soda after I went to bed. Now I know they were probably arguing with some ingrate at the cable company over their latest bill or trying to fix the dishwasher themselves so they didn’t have to call a plumber. This isn’t nearly as fun as the impromptu dance parties filled with junk food I envisioned.
And pissing and moaning about it isn’t really going to fix anything because we all just have to suck it up. It is life after all. It isn’t all diamonds and glamour, it is often arguments and a pile of crap. Life really is just waiting for bad news, but the drudgery of it can make the sweet taste much sweeter, no?
How is that for some hidden optimism?
And who do I address my letter to? They need a piece of my mind.
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank god i’m not an adult yet.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Thank your lucky stars.
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Hidden optimism is cool. But can we still piss and moan at least on Mondays?
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Yes, yes you can.
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Can I co-sign this letter too? Oh my disdain for adulthood grow more prevalent day by day.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Sure, I am collecting signatures.
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I see a theme in the posts- with f.B also talking about the transition in our current lives.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I swear we didnt plan it.
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My eternal optimist inner self tells me that life doens’t -always- suck. It sucks about 75% of the time, but hopefully the good times outweigh the rest so we forget how much the sucky parts really do suck.
There was too much suckage (and incarnations of the verb suck) in that statement but I like it so I’ll keep it
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I like it too…glad you kept it.
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Oh yeah, I remember a friend and I saying that no one ever tells you that your 20s are pretty hard. Like you said, it’s supposed to be all parties and new men! But there’s the hangovers and the times when the new men become ex-waste-of-times.
FWIW, the thirties are fairly smooth. Wait for more “nobody tells you” unfairness in your 40s (I’m 42 now, so god knows what *else* I’ve got coming).
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I am 28 and everyone tells me the 30s are the good years…more confident adn self assured and financially stable. I have hope.
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Mondays are made for pissing and moaning. No way around it.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
True story.
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I have also long wondered who the infamous “They” who say things are. My initial research indicates that They are a 56 year old plumber from Hoboken and his assistane Jorge, but I cannot confirm at this time.
And it is funny, you spend your entire childhood wishing you were an adult and the rest of your life trying to reclaim childhood.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Who is your research firm? Or is this a independent study?
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When I was little I wanted to be a waitress or a stewardess when I grew up, I just thought they were such glamorous jobs. A fact my father never forgot to bring up when I was slaving away at two waitressing jobs all through college. Long hours, occasionally humiliating work, sore feet, just so some asshole can leave $2 on a $60 tab. Glamorous. Heh.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I thought being a supermarket check out girl looked so glam.
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I like the hidden optimism. But I’m with f.B. – we all need to bitch about it every now and then. And Mondays seem perfect for that.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
It is bitching day for sure.
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I’ll let you know if I find the person to send your letter too. I have one I need to send myself.
Oh and Mondays suck big grande time.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
At least they only happen once a week.
Wow…I cannot believe I just said that.
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I address letters to The Universe on the regular. It really does help.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Great minds.
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“OK, maybe y’all don’t feel the need to cut folks regularly. That could just be me.”
No, you are not alone on this one, I have learned to cut people out of my life. Now I’m not sure if it’s because I am becoming wiser or my threshold for BS and drama have decreased to sea level … yeah, most likely the latter .
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Oh I meant stab people, but you are right…I need to just cut people out.
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So what you’re saying is… you know of an ancient, hidden method to turn shit into diamonds… that’s brilliant and could be highly profitable!
Do tell.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Why would I give up that secret.
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Life: The joke’s on me.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Sigh.
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Being an adult definitely comes with a significant amount of suck, but then, if you think back on it, so did being a kid. Remember middle school? Yeah, I’d rather pay bills.
Sometimes you just have to gripe and be in a bad mood for a while. It’s no fun, but it’s also unavoidable I think.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Oh, GOD…Middle school. That really was the freaking worst.
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Its all about the SILVER LINING, Lexa.
Remember.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Matt, what would I do without you?
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You know, I’ve been thinking about high school a lot, lately – and while the outside aspects of being an adult do, indeed suck… BEING an adult is so much better.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Truth–just easy to idealize, I guess.
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I need to hit the lottery or something because this work thing is getting tiresome. This from a man who predicted that he would die at his desk because I used to love being a workaholic. Work hard play hard.
I send my letter to Santa Claus, North Pole. I hear good things about this Claus guy but he has yet to respond to me.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Same here, friend.
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I feel like you’ll write a better letter than I ever could, and at 29, trust me, it doesn’t really change.
Please sign my name at the bottom.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Will do, Shine.
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The upside to adulthood, you can eat all the candy you want. I know it’s not a fair trade for the literal suckage that happens on a daily basis but hey it’s candy! ALL YOU WANT!
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Yes, but then your ass gets huge and you stress about that.
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Dudette, we should start a petition.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
I hear everyone fills out those online forwards.
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Mondays or life for that matter, don’t suck as much as Kanye.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Eh, Kanye was being Kanye. It isnt really anything new.
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Address it to Oprah Winfrey.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
ie Jesus
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Not only do I routinely want to cut people, but this weekend when I found myself on the mall in the midst of all the crazies, I loudly expressed a desire to set several of them on fire.
My date thought it was hot.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Why were you at the mall ona date?!
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brian Reply:
September 16th, 2009 at 1:32 am
Anyone been on a drive by date ?
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I say this ALL of the time. It’s like the adults in our lives completely lied to us. They made it look so much fucking fun. WTH???? It completely sucks! I want to go back to college.
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Lemmonex Reply:
September 14th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
My liver can only take one college tour.
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As we say in our employee orientation tours? Welcome to the suck. Good news is that we still have more control over our lives than when we were kids, we can drink, and we’re not alone- because your dishwasher? Is my toilet.
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Sounds like your glass is a little on the half empty side. That’s just the way life is sometimes. Fortunately, for most of us the sucky times are interspersed with better days.
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I feel a pretty consistent desire to shank people. Its definitely not just you.
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