To: The Universe
From: Lexa Lemmy
Date: July 10, 2009
Subject: WHY?!
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Universe, I am sending you this memo because I don’t believe in God and I have no idea where else to air my grievances.
Can you just cut me some slack? Seriously?
I am a fun girl. A good friend. Generally, despite my cynicism, I think I do my best to rise above. Hell, even this week someone described me as “warm” and another friend told me they “admired my attitude”. DON’T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS.
But really? REALLY? I am sick of feeling like the world is shitting on me. Bitter is not a pretty color on me. (By the way, thanks for making me look so awesome in black…holla!) I am pissed. I am cranky. I am becoming the kind of girl who goes to a bar to get dinner and drinks alone because she cannot bear to be around people, even if she loves them. At least the upside is somehow my bill is always really small.
I know this will pass. I am going to visit my best friend next weekend and that surely will help. I have another interview today, but I am already girding myself for the bad news. I don’t want to be this way. My life doesn’t suck, just right now does.
So, seriously? Can a girl get a break?
5:37 am on July 10th, 2009
Cheer up!
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5:46 am on July 10th, 2009
Just breathe baby.
It’ll all turn around. I promise.
And I’ll always be here even when you don’t wanna be around people.
xoxo
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6:00 am on July 10th, 2009
I hear you hon. I’ve been waking up and throwing up every morning for the last four days because I hate my life so much. Hang on, chicka. If I can make it, I think you can, too.
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6:02 am on July 10th, 2009
I am feeling you. I’ve been bitter and resentful enough lately that I don’t like who I am. Something’s gotta change. I believe it will so I’m just trying to slog through till it does. Here’s to hanging in there together – but seperately – if you get me.
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6:08 am on July 10th, 2009
Good luck! Persevere! Kick ass!
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6:10 am on July 10th, 2009
“We’re sorry but all our customer service agents are currently busy. Please hold and your call with be answered in the order in which it was received. Please note that discussions about your life may be monitored for quality control purposes.”
[insert smooth jazz here]
[beep]
“Hello, and thank you for calling The Universe. My name is Suresh. How may I help you?”
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6:13 am on July 10th, 2009
I blew off about three events this week because I just couldn’t bring myself to be with people. So, yeah, I hear ya. Next week will be better, or at least that’s what I keep saying.
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6:15 am on July 10th, 2009
In times like these I find there is only one appropriate solution: drinking alone. I always think, “well I’m already feeling crappy, might as well be drunk too.” It never really works, but I still believe.
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6:18 am on July 10th, 2009
It is actually pretty crappy out there for many and even bleaker for a few. Most of us simply rationalize that everything is great, or at least fine. For those, like you, who have a deeper and more profound view of life, there is no choice to deal with the harsh reality of life. The flipside is that you have enormous talents and insights, in the longrun you will prevail and all those jerks you have to deal with everyday will still be jerks. Be positive, have a great weekend and a few drinks will help you to get there in the end. Cheers!
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6:19 am on July 10th, 2009
Take it all one day at a time. Sometimes it’s good to take some time off from Everyone. It will get better.
Best of luck to you today. Hope the interview goes well AND that something good comes out of it.
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6:19 am on July 10th, 2009
I was eating my yogurt this morning and thought, “if I sharpen this spoon it would make a kick ass shank.” I think I understand your position on the new career thing. We will have a drink soon.
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6:29 am on July 10th, 2009
Good luck on your interview!
Sometimes things are just shit, and you have to wait for it to be over. Sucks, but that’s life. I bet the Universe still loves you.
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6:29 am on July 10th, 2009
Aww, I’m sorry the world is givin you shit. Give it right back, I guess. Would it help you feel better if I called you “sugarpants” or “pumpkin-britches”? Cuz I can do that if you want.
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6:33 am on July 10th, 2009
Good luck! It’ll all work out in the end… or maybe not and then you can tell us all that we’re stupid.. which could be fun. And I’m always up for drinking and hating on other people.
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6:41 am on July 10th, 2009
Yeah, this economy sucks balls. Whenever I feel this way, I first look at the calendar to see if I can chalk it up to hormones, then try counting my blessings. Cheesy, but it works.
By the way, I am totes confused by this two blog situation.
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7:01 am on July 10th, 2009
oh friend. stop in cleveland on your way to texas and i’ll treat you to lots of drinks and fun.
that’ll wipe the sad right off you.
chin up.
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7:11 am on July 10th, 2009
we’ve all done the drinking alone thing before – it doesn’t make us bad people. i love you just the way you are. and FIST PUMP for wearing black all the time – twin!
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7:12 am on July 10th, 2009
Thanks for being so awesome, y’all…and indulging my whining. You are the best.
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7:16 am on July 10th, 2009
Oh, I am right there with you. 100%. (If you find a foolproof solution, though, pass it on, please?)
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7:21 am on July 10th, 2009
Love it. Seriously. Universe needs to watch its’ back, cus it’s going to have a lot of stalkers pretty soon…
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7:21 am on July 10th, 2009
I totally hear you! Go do something good for yourself in the meantime, like get a pedicure or something. But I completely am with you!!
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7:25 am on July 10th, 2009
If you need a god Buddha is pretty hip- I’m down with him.
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7:39 am on July 10th, 2009
i hope the universe bucks up!
ps i love the title of this post.
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7:47 am on July 10th, 2009
Things will improve. It will happen without any belief in a deity of unknown origin. Wearing black helps. I have to believe that because my wardrove consists of black, navy blue, and dark gray.
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7:49 am on July 10th, 2009
You never call or write.
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8:07 am on July 10th, 2009
Ah yes. I am also in this place. I hate this place. I always try to get through it by doing really cheesy Oprah-inspired things like reading a bunch of poetry or keeping a gratitude diary, and then get all disappointed when it doesn’t work.
Keep your chin up. Oprah seems to think that life always has the possibility to improve, and I think she knows much more about these things than I do. Instead of believing in God, why not just believe in self-help gurus?
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8:48 am on July 10th, 2009
Want me to send some nudies to cheer you up?
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8:55 am on July 10th, 2009
Seriously… I am gonna buy you a freaking Kit Kat bar or something. This is ridiculous.
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10:01 am on July 10th, 2009
Traveling always helps, in my opinion. DC can be a succubus to the soul. If you can’t travel, then I suggest at least going for a bike ride or hike in Rock Creek Park or something. Nature is soothing. In small doses.
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10:15 am on July 10th, 2009
Oh, I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s just like this, and it sucks ass. If you’d like some bitter, angry company and some beer, come over. I’ve got the bitter angry covered, and Nick has the fridge well stocked.
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10:57 am on July 10th, 2009
Hope it settles. I absolutely understand the feeling.
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1:05 pm on July 10th, 2009
No.
You are NOTa “princess.”
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7:22 pm on July 10th, 2009
you DO look absofuckingLUTELY amazing in black.
in other news, i’ll go about begging the universe to give you the fabulousness you deserve. also, calorie-burning chocolate.
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8:02 pm on July 10th, 2009
Is it just me, or is everyone struggling lately??!! What is it about this summer? Enough already!!
Here’s to a weekend of turning things around…
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12:54 pm on July 11th, 2009
I can so relate to the post-job interview disappointment.
But, like Pac said, you gotta keep your head up.
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1:47 pm on July 12th, 2009
Take a few deep breaths. When you start thinking more positive things can start to change for the better. It’s frustrating, but eventually things do get better.
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3:02 pm on July 12th, 2009
For the record you are awesome.
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10:44 am on July 13th, 2009
I don’t know what happened, but I can relate. Sometimes I dream about picking up my life and just…disappearing. Meet you on a beach in Mexico with a fruity drink in hand?
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12:21 pm on July 13th, 2009
You look good in black…but you look spectacular in Cheetah.
Hope you are in a better state, or in a better State. Whichever works.
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6:05 pm on October 9th, 2009
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