Posted in Jackassery, Uncategorized on May 1, 2009
Oh, Friday’s off, how I love you. Today I will do wonderful things such as have a leisurly workout, meet up with my pal VK for lunch, and catch up with Irish Lebowski for a afternoon gossip download. Mixed in there will be a trip to see a woman with broken English who I will pay to rip the hair out of my most sensitive of bits. This part is not so wonderful, but it is entirely necessary, so there we have it. Don’t you feel so close to me now that you know this?
Anyway, a few weekend tid bits now that I have your attention:
- If you live in NYC, are a blogger/friend, and want to see a group of people test their personal limits for alcohol consumption, please come out on Saturday night and say hi. We will be at the
Pourhouse starting at 9.30.
- Dude, have you seen this chicken in a can bullshit? It has been everywhere, but holy hell. A WHOLE FUCKING CHICKEN. IN A FUCKING CAN. Look at that picture! Seriously, the thought of it makes me want to vomit. Can you even imagine the sound that thing makes as it comes out of the can? How it tastes? I feel more shame even thinking about eating that than I do on the typical Sunday morning
- I have a little secret: I am pretty gullible. My father Don has made a career out of telling me outlandish tales and seeing how far he can take it before I become suspicious. This is why these meat business cards confuse me. Is this real? Is my leg being pulled? Who wants a business card made out of cured meat? I have so many questions; please give me an answer.
Have a lovely weekend, kids.
8:45 am on May 1st, 2009
Uggh. I know the can says “fully cooked” but…it looks so pale and unappealing.
Have a great time in NYC…
It looks awful, seriously. I had to share the horror.
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8:54 am on May 1st, 2009
I never want to eat a chicken again looking at that. ick.
Meat business cards? I’d actually bet they’re kosher — (hopefully they’re wrapped!). More business cards should be edible.
Candy business cards?
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8:55 am on May 1st, 2009
It looks like that chicken’s being born. I bet when it comes out of the can it sounds like a baby being squeezed out.
Have a blast in NYC. I’ll be watching the police reports and will personally kick in the first dollar for your bail fund.
How generous. Thanks Kevin.
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9:18 am on May 1st, 2009
The canned chicken…does that come in the refrigerated aisle of the grocery store or in one of the dry good sections? I can only imagine the top-notch conditions that bred that chicken and the first-rate quality control it underwent in order to wind up in that can.
I don’t even want to think of that; I am sure it is horrible.
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9:26 am on May 1st, 2009
That whole chicken in a can, cant be real, right?
Lemmy, tell me it’s not real.
It’s not real. I am holding you. It is ok.
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9:28 am on May 1st, 2009
Won’t be able to make it. So close, so far.
Sadness.
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9:35 am on May 1st, 2009
Must be like watching a chicken giving birth to another, full grown chicken.
Also…the meat card. I am hyperventilating. I can’t copy/past this quick enough. Thank you.
Oh, I am here to serve. Of course.
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9:42 am on May 1st, 2009
ha, look at us with matching post titles and all. so sweet, really.
have such a fun weekend lady! im jealous more than you know. also, tell irish lebowski i say hi!
Souldmates! And of course, my love.
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9:59 am on May 1st, 2009
That chicken has to be the most revolting thing I have ever seen in my entire life. And I have lived in Scotland, and eaten Scottish food. Just so, so wrong. Have a fantastic time in NYC!
It looks like primordial ooze.
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10:09 am on May 1st, 2009
Ugh that chicken…
Do people eat this? Or is it just novelty?
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10:11 am on May 1st, 2009
that canned chicken thing makes my stomach FLIP
bah.
Oh, I was gonna bring it for a snack on the trip tomorrow…not a good idea?
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10:15 am on May 1st, 2009
In reverse order of your list…
I’d be concerned based on the way I treat paper business cards. They stay in my pocket all day, end up on my dresser collecting dust for 2 weeks, then get filed in my business card portfolio where it will be lucky if I ever see it. Meat – not good.
Canned Chicken: Disgusting. That’s all I have to say.
Weekend: Have Fun! I’ll be catching up on rest after the long week and watching some hockey.
Hockey! A man after my heart.
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10:20 am on May 1st, 2009
That chicken…ugh. I imagine it makes some sort of *slurp* noise, as it slides out of the can. Gross.
On another note, have fun this weekend!
Slurp and chicken…two words that do not belong together.
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10:24 am on May 1st, 2009
Ew, yeah, I saw that chicken business. The gelatinous mass surrounding it makes me want to vom.
I won’t be making it anytime soon, I assure you.
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10:39 am on May 1st, 2009
(whispers) That chicken scares me, and will haunt my dreams.
Both of us…
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10:42 am on May 1st, 2009
Meat cards. What an idea.
I have heard of dried squid cards, which can be found in Japanese fishing villages. Apparently some of these towns are so connected to the sea that they have an underwater mailbox… for the squid cards.
I don’t really get it either.
Also, whole chicken in a can? That sounds unwise, at best.
Proves the world is full of ideas…even if some of them are totally weird.
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10:54 am on May 1st, 2009
That is fucking nasty.
Yes, yes it is.
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10:58 am on May 1st, 2009
We’re both so bullet-pointy today.
Must be saving up our energy for something big…
Wonder what….hm….
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11:02 am on May 1st, 2009
I just threw up a little bit. This is so disgusting. I don’t think I will be able to sleep well ever again knowing this monstrocity is out in the world.
Be strong, mom. Please be strong for the family.
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11:26 am on May 1st, 2009
Ibanking has a slew of hazing rituals for its analysts. One of them is to challenge an analyst to eat all of the candy in a vending machine within a certain amount of time. The canned chicken gives me an idea for a hazing ritual but I wonder if it’s just too cruel given the paltry bonuses this year.
I’ll see you on Saturday….sober. maybe.
I bet I could definitely eat 4 nutrageous bars before becoming ill…love those. See you soon.
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11:52 am on May 1st, 2009
That photo should have been saved for one of those TMI Thursdays. I just dry heaved into my wastebasket.
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11:57 am on May 1st, 2009
You all believe in preparing for road trips, don’t you?
And when I first looked at that picture? I thought it was a cat sitting on a counter with it’s head stuck in a frosting container. Squint a little. Or don’t.
Anyway, have a blast!
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12:37 pm on May 1st, 2009
first there’s a burger in a can, now this. actually, i don’t know what’s worse.
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2:59 pm on May 1st, 2009
“Hockey! A man after my heart.”
That’s all it took? I would have mentioned it sooner.
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4:20 pm on May 1st, 2009
How many times can I say it? It’s going to be EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC.
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4:45 pm on May 1st, 2009
The pic is just gross.
BTW, I may stop by with a friend tomorrow evening to say hello to you, crazies.
: )
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5:11 pm on May 1st, 2009
If you think the photo of the canned chicken is gross- I’ve seen a video where they de-can it- I used to like chicken until I saw that- UGH!
The meat business card is for real- they laser your stats onto it- not sure how it would hold up though.
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12:35 am on May 2nd, 2009
Ya that chicken in a can is gross. It looks like those videos I wasn’t allowed to watch in health class… stupid permission slips…
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5:32 pm on May 2nd, 2009
It’s definitely disgusting!! I wouldn’t be able to eat it!
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9:55 am on May 4th, 2009
I was had on April Fools by some online prank concerning squeezey bacon. It said that it was 100% real bacon, preserved in a plastic squeeze bottle. And it was only 7 dollars. I really wanted to try it. I was heartbroken when I finally got the joke.
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2:47 am on June 23rd, 2009
I am totally late to the Chicken In A Can party but HOLY JESUS WHY? WHO PUTS CHICKEN IN A CAN???
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9:51 am on June 23rd, 2009
That Chicken In A Can is the most disgusting shit I’ve seen in a very long time!
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