Testing My Limits

by Lemmonex on March 24, 2009

Step One: We Can Have Lots of Fun

Step One: We Can Have Lots of Fun

Oh, for the love of Christ, this is going to be a difficult post to get through. Largely because when one is discussing the process of peeling and deveining a shrimp it is hard not to talk about what the vein actually is. Suffice it to say the vein is the whole digestive track of the shrimp and it is black because…well, yanno. This is all I am really going to say about that. Now that we have that out of the way and I have reached the limit of my personal comfort when it comes to discussing such matters, here it is…a lesson in something you should know. How to peel and devein a shrimp in just a few simple steps.

Step Two: There's So Much We Can Do

Step Two: There's So Much We Can Do

1. Look! Here is a shrimp. This one isn’t so shrimpy; in fact it is jumbo. I prefer large or jumbo shrimp for obvious reasons. Call me a size queen if you must, but it is just easier and makes for a hell of a lot less shrimp to peel.

2. Ok, so start from the top of the shrimp and start ripping the shell and legs off. Pull the last little set of legs off but make sure you leave the tail intact.

Step Three: It's Just You and Me

Step Three: It's Just You and Me

3. If you look at the top of the shrimp, most of the time you can see a black line under the surface. Slit the top of the shrimp so the line aka the vein is exposed.  You don’t need to cut too much at all; just break through the surface.

4. With the tip of your knife pull the vein out. I sometimes find it easier to run the shrimp under water as I pull the vein out. Sometimes you can’t see the vein because, well maybe the shrimp got really scared in it’s last moments or something…GOOD GOD I HATE THIS.

Step Four: I Can Give You More

Step Four: I Can Give You More

5. And yay! Your shrimp is clean. All is right with the world. Start making something delicious.

Step Five: Don't You Know That The Time Has Arrived

Step Five: Don't You Know That The Time Has Arrived

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Fast Times at Life’s-A-Bitch High » Blog Archive » In which I ramble about my musical tastes…
March 24, 2009 at 11:12 am

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

Racquel Valencia March 24, 2009 at 8:28 am

This was very informative! I can gut fish and shell just about anything short of a manta ray, and I agree; the vein is just nasty. Lobsters are notorious for having all this green crap inside them which, allegedly, is actually crap.

Uh, I hope no one was trying to eat breakfast when I left this comment.

Glad you liked! I wondered if it was totally boring.

[Reply]

LiLu March 24, 2009 at 8:53 am

You are officially a total poop-a-phobe. We need to get you help.

Seriously, I really don’t know what will happen if I have a kid. They are just going to get dunked in a bath of water when I change their diapers.

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Shannon March 24, 2009 at 8:59 am

I enjoy deveining! If you don’t think about what the vein really is, it’s soothingly repetitive and easy work.

You really are a glass half full kinda gal, Shan.

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f.B March 24, 2009 at 9:04 am

It actually took me a while to commit to deveining the right way. But eventually the fact that what I was doing kept ending up in hands sticky with shrimp poop was enough motivation to change my ways.

Ya live, ya learn.

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bethie March 24, 2009 at 9:06 am

THANK YOU for improving my summer menus 100%. Yes i have been buying already-deveined shrimp. Now I am not afraid to devein. And don’t worry I am a poo-phobe too.

It really is not that hard; I used to be a bit intimidated as well. Glad I can help.

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Jaime @ Fast Times March 24, 2009 at 9:17 am

I. Love. New Kids on the Block. Like, I seriously love them. I’m not too keen on shrimp, bit New Kids on the Block? *swoon*

Welcome Jaime. AND THANK YOU. Thank you so much for picking up on this.

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rondamarie March 24, 2009 at 9:24 am

I’m going to see NKOTB in concert on Thursday, because I am just that cool, and also I have the Step by Step video at home, I own a VCR for that tape alone. I’m awesome.

Welcome rondamarie. You are awesome. I concur. Have fun.

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Jaime @ Fast Times March 24, 2009 at 9:25 am

How could I not? I kid you not when I say that they are my favorite. :D And I think I love you.

Oh, now you are just trying to get in my pants.

Compliments usually work.

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Jaime @ Fast Times March 24, 2009 at 9:25 am

@rondamarie: I saw them in September, and they were so incredible!!!!!!!!!

I am so jealous.

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Urban Girl March 24, 2009 at 9:33 am

Good thing I am allergic to shrimp and don’t have to deal with this. Yuck!

I know…kinda gross but necessary.

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justjp March 24, 2009 at 9:35 am

Umm shrimp! The best tasting of all fishing baits.

HA, true story.

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Liebchen March 24, 2009 at 9:36 am

I’m still a little intimidated at the thought of deveining my own shrimp, but your directions are flawless, so I’ll try.

Do you think it really makes a difference if you devein them yourself, or buy them that way?

It doesn’t really make a difference, but sometimes there are bits of shell left on pre-peeled shrimp. Also, buying them with the peels on is a lot cheaper.

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DF March 24, 2009 at 9:39 am

Holy shit. What the hell are they feeding shrimp to make them grow that big? Hopefully the remains of a NKOB singer.

Who cares? Not me, as long as they taste good.

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Matt March 24, 2009 at 9:47 am

Shrimp will always trump boy bands.

Always.

This is a bold statement here.

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jordanbaker March 24, 2009 at 9:53 am

I broke out in a rash just looking at the pictures.

I have Benadryl!

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Big Money Tony March 24, 2009 at 9:59 am

Uhh, TMI Tuesday for food by-products?

As a child of the 80’s and restaurant parents, I learned at an early age how to devein shrimp. The 80’s have nothing to do with it, just reminding myself I’m not that old yet.

That said, it gave me a hidden talent with knives as an adult. Don’t F with me at a cutting board or a dark alley. Unless you have a bigger knife or a gun. Then I’ll run away like a timid child.

I would run away too. Seems totally reasonable.

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k8 March 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

Good thing I hate shrimp. So I never have to do this.

Lady, you are missing out.

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deutlich March 24, 2009 at 10:24 am

I concur with LiLu. And gah! Kids! With diapers and stuff! AAHH!!

I don’t even wanna think about it.

Blah.

But the shrimp did look good.

Haha, don’t think about it.

[Reply]

Titania March 24, 2009 at 10:43 am

Funny. I had a date on Sunday that involved going to the fish market and touching fish eyes. Somehow this post made me think of that.
About the deveining of the shrimp, I am thinking it would be really good and would save us a lot of work if we give the thingies a big scare that empty their tripe. Can we give them a laxative?

Oh, that date is much more original than the movies, this is for sure.

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Maxie March 24, 2009 at 10:52 am

I used to de-vein shrimp at my waitressing job. it was HORRIBLE and I hope to never do it again.

Not that I mind cutting up shrimp…it’s just the feeling left on your hands after you do a whole bucket.

Yeah, that slimy feel is kinda icky.

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bh March 24, 2009 at 10:53 am

I hate deveining shrimp, and I’ve had some prep cook jobs where I used to spend HOURS doing it.

For those that are not inclined to engage in pulling the intestines out of shrimp you can buy farm raised, deveined, flash frozen shrimp (in all sizes) at your local grocery store, usually near the fish counter. They are usually labelled “EZ Peel”.

Thanks for reminding everyone, bh.

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Fearless March 24, 2009 at 11:23 am

If I get fired because I’m laughing like a lunatic at all the icky non-poo-talk, can I come live with you? At least I know I’ll be well-fed.

Of course you can! You would be great company and a perfect way to get rid of my leftovers.

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apollocreed March 24, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Girl yes it’s true, no one else will ever do.

You are kind of awesome.

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freckledk March 24, 2009 at 12:10 pm

I used to like shrimp but I think that, after this, I’m now over it. Blech.

Oh, every relationship has some negatives. I am sure your love affair can continue.

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charlotte harris March 24, 2009 at 12:26 pm

after peeling and deveining one too many shrimp, i started paying the extra money for the already peeled and deveined!

Its ok. We all have our breaking points.

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bejeweled March 24, 2009 at 12:26 pm

“You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it…. shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That’s about it….”

Oh wow…please tell me you did this from memory…

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brookem March 24, 2009 at 3:27 pm

i just can’t get down with shrimp. it’s a texture thing, i think.

It gets some people, I know.

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Lisa March 24, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Ick ick ick. Years ago, a friend of mine who was in med school at the time and I were handed a big bown of shrimp to devein. And he was all, “Uh, this isn’t actually a vein…” and then we had to have a whole icky conversation about what it was.

I am quite glad I was not in on that conversation.

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Kevin March 24, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Out of all the jobs in all the kitchens in the world, I hate cleaning shrimp the most. Probably because when I do it I’m doing like three or four pounds for my gumbo. It takes for-ev-er!

Also, I got totally spoiled living in Texas. The lovely Vietnamese lady at my local fish stand would shell and devein my order of three pounds in like eight minutes. I miss that.

8 minutes! Dang. I need to study her technique.

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cavy March 24, 2009 at 4:34 pm

i’d rather buy the pre-veined. it’s worth the extra buck to not have to give the shrimp an enema.

I can understand your point of view.

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Peregrine John March 24, 2009 at 4:50 pm

I have to admit that I’ve never deveined a shrimp. Mostly that’s because I rarely use ‘em, but maybe it’s time to change that, especially with the gigantic near-crawdads like you’re using there.

A lot of people call shrimp “the cockroaches of the sea,” and there’s some merit to that. Along with shellfish and other crustaceans, they remove enormous amounts of trash from the oceans. So they’re made of trash? So what? If you are what you eat, what excuse is there for not freaking out over eating things that eat shrimp? Silly humans. We devein because that’s the only part that hasn’t been converted yet into succulent yumminess.

Ok, time to look up a local teppanyaki place for inspiration…

You actually don’t even really need to devein. It is pretty harmless to eat it but OVER MY DEAD BODY.

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emma March 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm

I really never thought you to be the squeemish type. You’ve surprised me.

I assure you that this is pretty much the only thing I am squeamish about. I just really hate bathroom humor.

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Big Money Tony March 24, 2009 at 5:08 pm

“You actually don’t even really need to devein. It is pretty harmless to eat it but OVER MY DEAD BODY.”

So I guess you don’t partake in steamed shrimp in the shell.

Um, no.

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Beth March 24, 2009 at 6:44 pm

I had not thought about what the vein was, and I am checking your blog to waste time before I have to go and devein two pounds of shrimp for dinner. So I will now know that I am up to my elbows in shrimp poo.

Maybe tonight is a roast chicken night.

Ugh.

Oh no! The point was to not turn you off shrimp.

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Essentially Me March 24, 2009 at 7:23 pm

You quoted New Kids On The Block. I love you.

I love you more.

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Barbara March 24, 2009 at 8:29 pm

We ate a lot of shrimp when I was growing up in Florida. My mother was crazed about removing those sand veins. I have come to overlook them from time to time because they really taste the same with or without and they are a pain in the a** to get out without wrecking the shrimp sometimes.

Especially if the shrimp are small…a total PITA.

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rs27 March 24, 2009 at 9:24 pm

You’re supposed to de-vein a shrimp? Is that what happens at Long John Silver?

Oh yes, of course.

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bbbmom26 May 5, 2009 at 11:46 am

what color nail polish are wearing?! :)

Hey there–and welcome. I know it is an OPI limited edition. I will look it up for you.

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air jordan shoes May 17, 2010 at 4:12 am

You are not the only man that feels that way.

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