I’ve had a secret shame buried deep inside me for a few weeks.
I watched “Twilight”. I watched “Twilight” and I liked it.
Now, everyone is carrying on and on about the dreaminess of Edward Cullen and I do feel a bit superior when I proclaim I did not find him the least bit attractive. Now this is not to say there haven’t been a few young men I have taken a shine to; I feel a special kind of flutter every time I see Joe Jonas. Say what you will but that boy really does look like he needs his purity ring tarnished and I am happy to take on that job. Also, I find his floppy brown hair lovely.
But Edward Cullen? Too pale, skinny, hairless and far, far too blond for me. I do not handle emotional boys well and our dear Edward feels far too many feelings for my liking. He seems a young man that would be scared of hurting me, only wants to make love and would talk incessantly about what a deep connection he feels. I do not care for this one bit.
Oh, and he is a vegetarian. I know plenty of lovely men who are vegetarians, but really? Nothing produces a pile of sawdust in my panties faster than a man who won’t eat a steak.
What I think got me about the movie was the sort of wide eyed faith Bella has in what she is feeling. She is in awe he loves her and doesn’t quite understand it, but she just goes with it. She is young and unscathed by heartbreak. There are no “what ifs” and she doesn’t hold back scared of the possibility of being hurt. The movie reminded me of the free fall of first love and made me wish I was 14 again. Well, 14-years-old minus the acne and the disproportionately large rack.
Except in my 14-year-old fantasies, it was not Edward Cullen…it was Anthony Kiedis. There will be no pale vegetarians on my watch, no propping of of weak men who are far too emotive. The only thing I am ready to handle on a regular basis is raves about my cooking and Mr. Cullen would not be able to even eat my food and that’s just too bad. Not to say their aren’t some misses but I like the accolades when they are deserved. For instance I threw this meal together totally last minutes and it came out really well. Sure, it is just pasta, but it is flavorful and I managed to get a ton of vegetables in here. For a fast week night dinner that will leave you a ton of leftovers you really cannot go wrong. The whole wheat pasta adds a nice depth and the sauce, more chunky than a normal sauce, manages to stay light(er) thanks to the turkey and artichokes. Hey, this isn’t going to change your life but it is way better than a jar of Ragu.
And how do you feel about that, Edward?
Summer Pasta
2 teaspoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 small onion, minced
1 pound mushrooms, chopped finely
2 teaspoons dried basil
1.5 teaspoons dried oregano
1 package (about 1.5 lbs) ground turkey
3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 8 0z. can tomato sauce
1 14.5 oz. can chopped tomatoes
1 14.5 oz. can artichokes, drained
Salt and pepper
1 box whole wheat pasta
Parmesan for sprinkling
Boil salted water and cook pasta while preparing sauce.
Heat oil in pan over medium heat. Add garlic and onions and cook for about 5 minutes. Add mushrooms,a pinch of salt and some pepper and cook for another 3 minutes. Drain off some of the liquid from the mushrooms with a spoon. Add basil, oregano, balsamic and turkey and cook for 8 minutes. (You may need to spoon off some more liquid.)Pour in tomato sauce, chopped tomatoes and artichokes. Cook for an additional 7 minutes. Salt and pepper and mix with pasta. Top with parmesan.
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{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
OK, first of all, that pasta really made me hungry…Looks yummy!
I read the Twilight books…all four of them…Within about 50 hours. I was looking forward to the movie but I am not pleased with Robert as a choice…and the movie was horrendous.
There are certain qualities that Bella has that I really related to…which I think is a problem, considering I’m turning 24 in two days…
The boy of my fantasies at 14? John Travolta circa Grease…The dancing fool that he was.
I had a “Saturday Night Fever” poster up in my college dorm room so I see the Travolta attraction.
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lbluca77 said it best – the contrast of his pale skin and red lips is bothersome. that being said, i’d still let him stare me down like he does bella any day.
and i am totally making this tonight. YUMMMO.
Good call, lbluca. And doesn’t every woman want to be started down…just a little bit?
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and at 14 i was heavy into taylor hanson and joshua jackson. the latter has not changed.
Joshua Jackson. I’d let him.
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I thought the Native kid was cuter. The I IMDBed the actor and felt like a dirty old cougar. Le sigh.
At 14 mine was Tim Armstrong. At 24, it’s still Tim Armstrong. The more things change…
Yo Timmy, call me.
Tim Armstrong from Rancid?!
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First, I love, love, love summer pasta. I love it with just some sauteed veggies, olives and goat cheese. Goodbye, heavy sauces!
Second, I shamefully own a copy of Twilight which I hide from guests.
Third, they are filming the sequel (?) in Vancouver, and rumour is…the dude who plays Edward doesn’t bathe frequently. As in, Pig Pen from Peanuts kinda dirty. With the little stinky dirt cloud, and everything.
I can deal with some dirt. I like to call it man musk. This is the least of my issues with him.
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3 cheers for carnivores!!!!
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!
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“Nothing produces a pile of sawdust in my panties faster than a man who won’t eat a steak.”
Something along those lines should be in the gospel, for serious.
But Edward Cullen can get his glitter on me anytime. Sorry, love.
Can we edit the gospel?
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So, Joe Jonas. Hm. I knew Lilu wasn’t the only girl you’d go gay for.
He wants to be corrupted. I can feel it. I love a challenge.
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Yup.
Awesome.
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If you ever try to buy the books from my bookstore when I’m working register, I will refuse to sell them to you. Because I’m looking out for you.
I don’t think I will be buying the books. I won’t promise anything, though.
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Love the ground turkey choice. Don’t know much about the Twilight. But at 14, it was Salma Hayek.
It should STILL be.
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Were you drunk when you watched that movie?!? It was HORRIBLE. So horrible that I almost wish that I hadn’t watched it twice.
What can I say? That skinny, pale whippersnapper is ever so pretty – I couldn’t help myself. However, I felt the acting to be so awful that, when I watched it the second time, I did so with the TV on mute. It was much more enjoyable that way.
You watched it twice? For shame.
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That is why you’re awesome.
I am blushing.
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im in the same boat as you on this one sister. i like my men a bit rough around the edges, a little dirty (can and should be taken more ways than one), and raw. edward is way too soft for me.
that pasta looks yummy.
Soft! Yes, far too soft.
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Yanno, I feel exactly the same way about Edward what’s-his-face.
Blah.
Great minds and all this.
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Alyssa Milano was my 14 year old crush. Well, actually from somewhere around there to just about now. She’s really into baseball so one of my friends named his fantasy baseball team “Alyssa’s Milanos”. I’m not sure what fantasy baseball was what he was thinking then.
Summer pasta = awesome! Now I sound like a 14 y.o.
We are all 14-year-olds deep inside. I don’t think I have progressed all that much.
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Mmm…I love artichokes – and never would have thought to add them.
At 14, I was getting over Devon Sawa (Little Giants? So cute!) and had moved on to Joshua Jackson. And probably a little bit of Leonardo DiCaprio.
I’m such a cliche…
Devon Sawa! Holy crap. That is a blast from the past.
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At fourteen, I’m pretty sure I had “posters” of Fred Savage and Neil Patrick Harris that I’d ripped from Tiger Beat adhered to my walls, Keifer Sutherland in a Young Guns II costume on the ceiling above my bed, and a giant poster of Harry Connick Jr. near my nightstand where I could roll over and kiss him.
And now. . . I don’t want Fred (haven’t seen him the same way since he was all sex-killer-of-the-week-y on SVU); Neil doesn’t want me; and Keifer is just straight up old and kind of weird.
Harry Connick Jr., though. Anytime. In a heartbeat.
HC, Jr. has aged well. I never have really been able to fully forgive him for “Hope Floats” though.
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Too pale, skinny, hairless and far, far too blond for me.
Say, what’s this about “hairless?”
Peter
Don’t worry; it is a guy.
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As a dude I would like to put in my two cents about twilight.
F You Vampires.
F them indeed.
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Mmm…that looks delicious.
I think I’m the only person out in the blogsphere and universe who refuses to read and/or watch Twilight.
I resisted for a long time, Marie. A very long time.
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Geez, girl, could you make me blogcrush harder? Not the bit about watching Twilight (sparkly vampires? really?? sweet mother of Bram…), but pretty much all the rest, steak to artichokes. *swoon*
Ok, not really swoon, it’s just a metaphor, as I’m more likely to howl at the moon or something, though I never really have, but Angelina Jolie has always made me want to, ever since Hackers and Gia (um, wow). Pretty sure your summer pasta beats hers, and maybe even Nicole Kidman’s, who’s reminded me for many years how much I love my Y-chromasome but may not have a clue about pasta (not being mean here, I just don’t know). As for more recent choices to wake up that howly bit, see Kassy’s girlcrushes for a start. We have curiously similar tastes.
Long sentences + slight incoherence = Pippin Needs Coffee After Ridiculous Weekend. But before I do, I’d just like to point out that as tarnishing goes, Joe and his brothers could use a bit of polish on their intonation. In the immortal words of Randy, “A bit pitchy, dawg.” Or more accurately from Simon, “Dreadful; simply awful.” If they weren’t pretty they wouldn’t remotely be popular. Maybe they should be models instead?
Hey, I said WHY I liked Twilight. Cut me some slack. I didn’t love it or anything.
Angelina in Gia was amazingly hot. You have good taste, even if Angie is a given for most guys.
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Did that guy really just type “swoon?”
Oh and:
1) I seriously have to rethink our friendship after you being the latest to think Twilight is good.
2) Being a vegetarian, I would love to comment on how we “cause dust” but alas I cannot. Just know that I love it when people hate on male vegetarians.
I thought of you when I wrote this and I knew it would piss you off and I am sorry. Luckily you are taken and we don’t ever have to worry about your non meat eating ways getting in the way of our potential love.
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I didn’t think robert pattinson was hot AT ALL until I watched Twilight.
I. want. him.
Oh Maxie. This makes me sad.
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Got stuck watching Twilight on a plane.
*gag*
Nuff said.
It is overwrought. I admit it.
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Mmmm . . . Anthony Kiedis=Delish. Wait wait, I mean “Mmmm . . . summer pasta=Delish.”
No, Anthony is MUCH better.
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Yup, I wrote swoon! I also write things like “zounds” and “perpend” when the mood strikes me. But the swoonage was metaphorical, as I mentioned, and I’m not sure anyone’s actually swooned since corsets were the norm. Perpend.
You have good taste, even if Angie is a given for most guys.
Whah, thenkuh. Thenkuhverrumuch. She is more or less a given, schwingworthy by any rational standard, and I know gay men who’d happily make an exception for her.
Schwing worthy! Oh, a Wayne’s World reference. Be still my little heart.
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I saw this movie, by pure trickery. During the whole thing, which I admit wasn’t too bad, all I could think was, “Damn, this dude has a fucked up looking head.” Seriously, how does one’s head take such a weird shape?
Hm… you ask good questions. I have no idea.
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*sigh* i liked twilight too. and i learned some valuable lessons, like how vampires are really good baseball players.
Oh, yes. I also liked learning they don’t sleep. I didn’t know that largely because I am usually not such a freaking nerd.
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Speaking of feelings: just had a PB&J, chips, and mango juice (oh so good).
I hope it was with chunky pb.
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I know how you feel about Edward and I read (and loved) all the books. I like them tall dark and handsome. Rugged. Grrr. Yummy.
And my 14 year old crushes were the same as Cavy’s! Ha.
Yes, dark and handsome all the way.
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Anthony Kiedis?!
Good god, such dubious taste.
But true on veggies.
Does Kiedis really surprise you? Come on now.
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I want pasta now. Good pasta, like your pasta.
You can make this…it is easy!
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You know me. I like my men dirty, unshaven and naughty. Pale and skinny? No way.
I don’t want to feel like I will break a man.
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“Anthony Keidis”?
There’s someone you don’t hear the ladies falling over themselves for very often. I’m not sure I could have been more thrown off by this choice for a girl than if you had said something like “Eddie Van Halen”.
Then again, he did snag Valerie Bertinelli.
I am not the only one. Ink, long hair, blah blah blah. Typical.
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And I just saw SD’s post above. I’m glad I’m not the only one baffled by this.
It is really not that baffling.
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oh god, no. I saw part of Hope Floats on Oxygen recently, and threw things at the screen.
I hate Sandra Bullock to the core of my being.
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I can’t remember who was my 14y.o. crush… probably somebody dark, tall and with a hairy chest that ate red, bloody, mooing steaks. yum.
your sawdust in the panties line, exactly right. perfect. poetry.
It sounds the perfect guy to me.
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This pasta looks lovely, even in my fevered state. I’ll add it to my list of recipes for when I return to real food…
Oh honey, feel better.
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Anthony Kiedis is gorgeous. I don’t know why the fuck everyone’s so shocked.
Hi Kristin–welcome…and THANK YOU.
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Nothing says snooze fest like a vegetarian vampire..
My 14-yo crush was Corey Haim, which is exactly why I believe that crushes when you are that young will ONLY come back to embarrass the shit out of you when you’re older. Christ.
Oh Corey Haim. He was kinda dreamy. Poor bloated drug addicted bastard now, but cute then.
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We’re talking about this guy, right?
Yes. It is ok. I am sorry this has blown your mind so much. Look how pretty he was here. This is from 1994. I was 13. Swoon.
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The Edward poster on my office wall is weeping on the inside (yes, I have an Edward poster. It was a GIFT, people! And hilarious.). I do heart Rob Pattinson though. He’s not at all my usual taste, but every once and awhile I fall for the pretty guys. At Jo’s the other night, we were drinking and watching Twilight, complete with snarky commentary and I couldn’t help but say, “but he’s so pretty!” every so often. Anyway, alcohol and snark is the way to watch Twilight.
The movie is so. bad. Which doesn’t explain why I own it.
All the longing glances. it is way too much. And I am sorry; I didn’t mean to make him cry.
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Me, I love Jacob. And even though I was a veg for years, I react the same way you do to vegetarian men.
Jacob was very sweet. I am sure he will play a bigger part in later movies.
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You mean to tell me you don’t want to hear your man/vampire say, “You are my life now”? Shocking. Also, many of the longing glances could be mistaken for constipation. Just sayin’.
That is so creepy to hear a kid in HS/who is like a zillion years old say that.
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Ah…Because I have been a crime dork since I was a tween…my VERY first major crush was on Chris Noth when I was about 14 and he was Det. Logan on Law and Order.
Gd he will always be Logan to me.
And when I was about 9 I was in platonic love with John Travolta in Grease and Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. The dancing. Raor.
But I’m sorry…Harry Connick does not do it for me. I find him very likeable but really just ugly. But he seems like a really great guy besides that.
I love the pretty boys–but the messy pretty. Edward was too coiffed. If he was messier and a bit darker–he could have me. Anytime. I love skinny and tall. Yum.
No thank on the skinny but yes on the tall. And I think Harry’s eyes are lovely.
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Peregrine John–I am glad we share female beauty tastes. Classically beautiful with girl next door charm and natural sex appeal. Love it.
Oh and while I don’t feel that way for Kiedis, I get it. He has a body.
And while on the topic of hot-or-not vampires…I shall present the hot:
David Boreanaz Angel on Buffy. DE-Li-CIOUS.
Um, yes. He has a body. Lord knows how I hate a man with a body.
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i was soooooooo proud of myself for never reading twilight or even saw the movie.
that is until sunday afternoon when i watched it, and like you liked it.
i want hot vampire sex.
But they may kill you, Alexa.
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OK, you are officially my hero now. “A pile of sawdust in my panties?” !!…..Priceless. Be warned, I will steal that and use it at the first appropriate (or not so..) moment. Even though I’m a guy. Who eats steak. And does not wear panties.
You’ve just won yourself another loyal reader, lady!
Welcome Chef Green! Glad you like my dirty mouth…I am glad to have ya here.
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Oooh, I will have to check that out. Thanks for the heads up.
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