About 50 people ask:
“How did you lose weight?”/”How do you eat the way you do and not get fat?”/”What’s your secret?”/”Do you have weight loss tips?”/”I bet you are still fat…lemme see a picture.”
The “how did you lose weight” questions comes up a lot and I have been getting an influx of questions on the heels of the holidays. I hope this can help.
November 2005
January 2006
September 2005
March 2006 -- 15 lbs down
On January 21, 2006, I joined Weight Watchers. I weighed over 200 pounds. I had no idea how much I weighed until my first meeting. I had no inkling of the magnitude of the problem I had on my hands. Oh denial, you are a constant and faithful companion.
The answer for me was Weight Watchers. It is nothing revolutionary, there are no secret tricks, just lots of hard work and tracking everything that passed my lips. I found the plan reasonable, healthy and simple to follow. I needed a plan; I was in way over my head and with the support of an amazing friend who joined with me and a phenomenal leader, I did it. There were bad days and nights I went to sleep crying, but I pushed through. On December 19, 2006 I had reached my goal weight. I had lost 65 pounds.
Maintaining has been a daily challenge. I am constantly up and down about 7 pounds and I do not see that changing in the foreseeable future. You all see on a regular basis my deep and unabashed love for burgers, beer and other naughty foods. What you don’t see is I balance those meals with salads, chicken breasts and hard boiled eggs. I work out every single day, whether it be the treadmill, a walk, or weight lifting. Every. Single. Day. If I have evening plans, I am at the gym at 5.30 am. Sadly, I hate working out. I have never really warmed up to it, but it is a necessary evil. I also have, without shame, gone crawling back to WW several times in the past few years to keep myself on track. I know it works if I work at it.
This post seems fairly clinical and that’s not my intent. I don’t want to give the impression that I think this is easy or that I am stronger than most. I have paralyzing moments of weakness. Every single damn day I struggle. I binge. I get drunk as an excuse to stuff my face without self-consciousness. I go through phases where I will workout twice in one day. I have blissful months where I seem to have it under control, where I convince myself that this is a beast I have conquered. Right when I think I have permanently killed this monster, he awakens from a slumber, mocking me and reminding me I am always within his sights. I think, like most women, I exist on a continuum of disordered eating. This may not be what anyone wants to hear and it certainly isn’t the most flattering picture of me, but it is the truth.
I am not thin, but I am no longer fat. I have clothes in my closet that, depending on cut, quality, and presence of vanity sizing, range from size 4 to 8, small to medium. I am blissfully normal, in possession of an ample ass and a healthy appetite. Mentally, I am still fat. It is the fear, those pictures, that keeps me in line. I have worked too hard to backslide. I think eventually I will get to a place where I am comfortable in my skin, but right now? That isn’t my reality. I am just a girl on a treadmill doing my best to remain on track. At the end of the day, that’s the answer. Work. Physical and mental…just lots of work and acceptance that sometimes, despite all your work, you fail. Having the work ethic in place to dust myself off is what keeps me moving.
9:41 am on January 6th, 2009
About that same time you did, I started doing WW, except I didn’t want to join — a friend who had all the info and the calorie sheets gave me some cheat sheets, and I actually dropped about 30lbs before falling off the wagon and gaining it back. I really didn’t even do a lot of exercising — I did like 50 jumping jacks a day or something — and I really do need to get back into the weight-watching thing. Why catch the bus to the Giant food when I can walk? Etc.
Food intake really is the main component. For me, working out just keeps me focused, tighter, and out of the kitchen.
[Reply]
9:41 am on January 6th, 2009
I dunno, I think you actually are stronger than most. I feel as though the number who have tried and failed to accomplish what you have dwarfs the number of those who have succeeded.
Thanks, appreciated. Some days are failures, but I have more successes.
[Reply]
9:53 am on January 6th, 2009
This came off, I think, as very brave and honest … I know how hard this must’ve been for you, and I’m glad (for you only) that you did it with humor and honesty … especially the honesty about your ass — how was it described that one time?
Ass for days? I dunno…there has been lots of talk about my ass. Thanks, B.
[Reply]
9:57 am on January 6th, 2009
“.Every single damn day I struggle. I binge. I get drunk as an excuse to stuff my face without self-consciousness…. Right when I think I have permanently killed this monster, he awakens from a slumber, mocking me and reminding me I am always within his sights. I think, like most women, I exist on a continuum of disordered eating.”
Truer words were never spoken. this absolutely reflects every woman’s struggle not just with weight, but with food, with our relationship to food. Whether it’s anorexia or overeating, it is all *disordered*. I totally relate to the drinking as an excuse to eat. And I agree with I-66- the fact that you have come so far and can get back on track when you’ve fallen off – that is what makes you strong.
[Reply]
10:02 am on January 6th, 2009
Damn, girl. I’m proud of you.
Thanks, partner.
[Reply]
10:08 am on January 6th, 2009
Thanks for this.
It is a constant struggle for me and I wish I were as committed to exercise as you are. I’m impressed with your discipline, even if you always aren’t. I guess I am in the amazed category of readers, too, in that if I were cooking these decadent foods, I would be eating them. All of them. Every last bite. So, good for you for being able to manage that. And manage that well! You look terrific!
There are days I curse every single second on the treadmill. Also, I have gotten very adept at giving away food.
[Reply]
10:12 am on January 6th, 2009
I am the only person I know where weight watchers didn’t work. I did it with a friend while I was still up in NYC. She started smaller than me and lost 14 lbs in two months. I gained 0.3. I was eating way more with WW than I usually do, even if the choices were smarter. I’ve always exercised, and my friend lost the weight without the exercise.
I have thought about giving yet another try, but it’s not worth the expense when you don’t see the scale move… In 2007 I tried Nutrisystem and though I lost about 13 lbs in 3 months, by the end I was bored, fatigued and borderline anemic. When I started skipping the gym because I was too fatigued to exercise, was when I decided to quit it. Needless to say, I gained all the weight back.
I am also the only person I’ve heard of that started commuting by bike to work (100+ miles a week) and didn’t lose weight! I wasn’t dieting but wasn’t eating anything different (and my weight was stable when I started). I lost one pound the first month, which I regained the following. When I stopped 2 months ago because of the weather/darkness? I gained 7 lbs. WTF?
I blame it on crazy diets as a teenager when I thought I was “fat” (meanwhile I was a good 50lbs thinner). I had a lot of restraint, and did the famous soup diet many many times. I think my metabolism is messed up because of it (but no, never had an eating disorder).
Exercise and sports have always been part of my life, so increasing it doesn’t really make much difference — I get more muscles, but they’re covered in fat, so no one can tell by looking at it (despite the jiggle, my quads are rock hard when you touch them…)
I’ve been to the endocrinologist to make sure I don’t have a thyroid problem, and they NEVER believe me when I tell them what I eat (which is normal quantities) or how much I exercise. Why would I F**CKING lie to a doctor??
Anyway, this is my rant for the day
You look incredible, have amazing willpower and I can’t help but admire your commitment.
That is what is frustrating. Some of us are just screwed when it comes to our metabolisms. I have friends who are thinner than me and we have the same diets. This is what worked for me and I am lucky. I know that. Good luck.
[Reply]
10:13 am on January 6th, 2009
That’s amazing– I definitely know how hard it is to lose weight… or should I say I know how easy it is to not lose weight.
I just can’t wrap my head around having to workout of the rest of my life. Sigh.
It isn’t fun, but it has become part of my life. I totally get it though…I’d rather be watching Bromance.
[Reply]
10:14 am on January 6th, 2009
I know that this was not easily written; but you eloquently expressed a difficult issue with which so many struggle. It is the knowledge and acknowledgment that is so important.
EVERYONE struggles with this…even a lot of guys. They just won’t say it.
[Reply]
10:16 am on January 6th, 2009
Thank you for this post. Even though I know what the formula is for losing weight, I still wonder (and okay, sometimes hope) that there is just some magic pill that will make it all go away. Truth is I struggle every damn day and, in fact, was just talking about it this morning with a friend of mine. I don’t know why I just don’t push through sometimes.
Some days I totally backslide. It happens. You have to be ready. Something kinda just clicked for me.
[Reply]
10:26 am on January 6th, 2009
I can also imagine how difficult this was to post. And congratulations to you.
I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life, although I’ve never been more than 20lbs overweight. Image is a big thing in my family I suppose. I think the biggest part of the battle with weight is learning to love what you have, not trying to change your body into what your idea of perfect is. I used to want to look long and lean. I have a very curvy frame, I could lose 15 more pounds and still have a curvy frame. However, now I love my curvy-ness.
I’ll probably always be trying to lose weight, and am currently on the core plan of WW and it’s amazing. The only thing I’ve been able to stick with and that works!
Thanks. I damn near was breathing in a paper bag about 20 minutes ago.
Core totally works. It is manageable and reasonable. Good luck.
[Reply]
10:33 am on January 6th, 2009
Thanks for writing this. I admire both your work ethic and your honesty. Congratulations on making choices that are good for you. You’re right that the road never really ends; it’s just a day by day struggle of trying to do healthy things, and trying to get back on track. And balancing that with eating something yummy sometimes too! Hehe.
It isn’t in my nature to write a “rah rah” you can do it post. Thanks for understanding.
[Reply]
10:34 am on January 6th, 2009
This is a really good post. When I dropped 80 pounds yep 80 pounds to go to the police academy back 8 years ago, I was still mentally fat and bought clothes way too big for me. I lost 30 more at the academy – and still felt fat.
I am back in the gym and working to burn off the extra weight I gained from almost loosing a kidney and a miscarriage. I will always probably still look at my self that way. The mental is the hardest part and getting myself addicted to exercising again is the biggest challenge.
Really good post, thanks for opening up
I look at those pictures and that is what I still look like in my head. Takes a while for the mind to catch up… Thanks for sharing, Zip.
[Reply]
10:42 am on January 6th, 2009
Reason # 4,596 why you are my best friend, you courageous and amazing woman.
Courageous or insane, same difference.
[Reply]
10:46 am on January 6th, 2009
I am so very impressed with you right now….and I envy your obviously huge cajones. Bravo.
I’ve had something on weight issues taking up space in my drafts for months now. Months. I just can’t bring myself to post it. If I ever do, it will be partly because you helped to pave the way.
If it makes you feel better I nearly pissed myself this morning. It isn’t so bad though.
[Reply]
10:56 am on January 6th, 2009
I love your honesty and bravery in posting this message. Its a true indication of how far you’ve come from 2006 until today. As a “former” fat girl myself who is still struggling day after day to watch what I eat and force myself to go to the gym, I sympathize with you on the beast that just wont die. The hardest part is no matter how many pounds fall off my stomach, hips, and/or thighs–the mental image just doesnt change. At some point, we have to let the former fat girl inside of us die- and embrace our new self.
Welcome to the party, Suburbanite. Embracing the new you is always hard, but I know we can do it. I have to believe it or I would just give in.
[Reply]
10:58 am on January 6th, 2009
Losing 65 pounds in under a year is a fantastic accomplishment. You should be very proud of yourself!
Peter
The first 40 lbs were relatively easy…they wanted to go. The last 25 was when it got really hard.
[Reply]
11:05 am on January 6th, 2009
Congrats, Lem. As someone who also hates the gym, your dedication inspires me. I should really work out…tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday.
I sometimes imagine what I can eat as a result of a trip to the gym…probably not the healthiest thing but whatever.
[Reply]
11:13 am on January 6th, 2009
Thanks for sharing, and great job.
I am not brave enough to hang up heavier pics of myself, even in the privacy of my own home. You set a really good example! I am with you on the constant flux – mine is 5-8 pounds. My “live to eat, not eat to live” menta’ity doesn’t help at all!
I think I went temporarily insane. The flux is a bitch, as you well know.
[Reply]
11:19 am on January 6th, 2009
Very brave post, Lemm.
I hit publish on a day I felt brave.
[Reply]
11:25 am on January 6th, 2009
Congrats and thanks for sharing.
I’ve been a big boy my entire life, my mother blames herself (which of course all great mothers do), but it’s been my fault since I was 12, as I should know better.
Luckily I’ve lost 15 lbs by sheer willpower since October and if I see results like yours, you’ll see a story like this one on my site later in the year (hopefully).
Continue with the struggle. It is a great accomplishment.
Congrats on your results. Especially during the holidays that is no easy feat.
[Reply]
11:27 am on January 6th, 2009
I love this. Thank you.
I’ve thought about WW on numerous occasions but was always too stubborn to ask for help. Until I went to see a therapist my senior year of college, focusing on body image issues. Probably the best thing I could have done for myself.
I didn’t feel like I had much of an option. Also, I had a kick ass leader and tons of encouragement. It was the best thing I have ever done for me and the proudest accomplishment of my life thus far.
[Reply]
11:40 am on January 6th, 2009
My best friend lost 200+ with WW and still has a bit to go, but the change has been amazing.
Now all I have to do is learn the same lessons to get myself on the right track. Thanks for the post and pointing us in the right direction.
200+ lbs! That’s amazing. S/He is an inspiration to us all.
[Reply]
11:40 am on January 6th, 2009
A challenge: Show me a woman who doesn’t think, every single day, about what she eats and how she can/should/might/will burn it off. I think that’s parly why WW is such a brilliant plan—it actually encourages you to think rationally, consciously, and honestly about those food choices, giving that thinking a healthy, non-abusive spin. Over time, you become your own champion rather than your worst critic. I only did WW for a few months—joined with my mother to help support her 100+ pound weight loss—but that’s the lesson I took from it.
I’ve written about this many times in my own blog—how yoga is the first “exercise” I’ve ever done that I truly love, despite being an athlete my whole life. Although a lot of people don’t enjoy exercise, I wonder if part of the ultimate challenge is just trying as many forms of exercise/athletics/etc. as possible to find the one that you don’t dread?
I totally agree that I need to find something I love. I am insanely uncoordinated so yoga has always been hard for me. I was thinking this weekend I may like biking.
[Reply]
11:54 am on January 6th, 2009
Well, damn. My own will to get somewhere got kicked in when the doc noticed my triglycerides were a few times what they should be. It’s inherited (the HDL and LDL are fine) but has to be managed. That was only a few months ago, right before the deluge of holiday food, but I try. Though there’s too much belly on me, I’ve never been horribly overweight (246# right now, but then again I’m 6′4″ with bones of depleted uranium), and I suspect that does nothing helpful for my complete and utter lack of self-discipline and consistency. Well, and loving good food.
All this to say that this post is really inspiring to me. Food intake is the main component, and exercise seems (for me) to mostly be catalyst… but one which I’m terribly remiss about. No longer. With the earlier pictures of you here, a transformation from Cute to Hot is pretty obvious, and if you can fight the daily battle, I’ve got no excuse not to reclaim what I’m supposed to be. Thank you for that.
Incidentally, having a “fat chick personality” is no bad thing. Together with your healthy ways, it’s a heck of a combination.
Interestingly enough I had ONE doctor tell me I should lose weight. ONE. Three months later I joined. Now I know I should have done it on my own volition, but the lack of protest from the medical profession helped me hide my head in the sand.
[Reply]
12:07 pm on January 6th, 2009
the november 2005 picture is hot
Welcome Benedict. I think it is because my boobs are as big as my fucking head.
[Reply]
12:13 pm on January 6th, 2009
I echo the sentiments that this was very brave to post – I don’t know that I could do it. Older pictures of me just on Facebook freak me the eff out. Anyway, I’m also here to echo that WW works. It took me over a year to lose 50 lbs, but it’s the only thing that works and keeps working. AND I joined a gym for the first time in 8 years yesterday. Thanks for the post, and to everyone else for the comments.
Joining the gym is a great step. WW totally works if you work it. Thanks carrie.
[Reply]
12:20 pm on January 6th, 2009
you captured so many of the thoughts that clutter up my mind on the regular. it certainly is a struggle, at least for me. and it’s an up and down thing. one day you feel good in your skin, and even without gaining an ounce, the next? i can feel like a scrap of life. it’s a battle that i think most all women stuggle with.
thank you for writing this. you’re awesome.
Indeed. A couple months ago I woke up one morning having a straight up panic attack about how I looked. Nothing had changed. Keep on keepin’ on and all that.
[Reply]
12:25 pm on January 6th, 2009
So the next post will be of your ample ass right? Because some people, not me of course, might like to see it.
An ample ass is a good quality, just so you know where I’m coming from.
Those photos are in my private collection.
[Reply]
12:30 pm on January 6th, 2009
People know if they read my blog that I am a recovering alcoholic and I hear so much of myself in this post. Thing is, I’m so glad I’m an alcoholic and can choose today not to pick up that drink. You, on the other hand – have to eat. If I had to say to myself, “I have to have one drink every day for the rest of my life.” I’d probably off myself. Because I know that’s not what would happen.
Kudos to you, girlie! And thanks for sharing the struggle. Now that the alcohol is out of the way, we’re doing an attack on The Fat. Clean eating is how I’m going. And it’s not fun.
Oh, the parallels are uncanny. I truly believe this is an addiction I somehow got under control but realize I must take it a day at a time. And congrats to you, lady.
[Reply]
12:37 pm on January 6th, 2009
*Big, big applause.* (from a guy who doesn’t do outward displays of excitement and cheer that often). But I do appreciate wonderful revelations of humanity and this was wonderful.
I like a man with restraint.
[Reply]
12:48 pm on January 6th, 2009
I know you ‘ve heard it 31 times before, but this post hit so many emotional cues for me. It’s another one of those “things” like pressure to “have it all” and make babies and pair off that women face on a daily basis. These conversations are important because I’m sure that many women think they are the only one dealing with their issues and here we all are saying that we all deal with it. Thank you!
Hi, FN. Welcome. Honestly, I feel I am getting so much from this so I want to thank everyone.
[Reply]
12:48 pm on January 6th, 2009
I think all the gratitude you’re getting from your fans here should be evidence enough of your huge ovaries.
I bit down on a leather strap.
[Reply]
1:07 pm on January 6th, 2009
Thank you for posting this. Everyone struggles with issues of food, weight, self-image and control. What makes you so different (and why I admire you) is that you’re willing to let us see your struggles. But you do it with class, self-awareness and zero self-pity.
Thank you for piping up, Shannon. My biggest fear was this would be preachy; glad it didn’t come off that way.
[Reply]
1:11 pm on January 6th, 2009
Thanks so much for posting this!! As I’m reaching critical ass, I’ve been thinking it’s time to join up and knowing somebody who actually did it is more inspiring than any WW sticker or key chain or whatever they give out these days. You get more and more amazing by the minute!
I still have my WW magnets and my keychain. It reminds me that I EARNED this.
[Reply]
1:14 pm on January 6th, 2009
Oh girl, I feel you. I’ve run the gauntlet from 85 pounds to my current weight at almost 130, prompting people who creep my old Facebook pictures to ask me if I was on meth. Did I mention that I’m 5′6″? Yeah.
Le sigh.
One girl’s magic number might be another’s greatest fear. While I don’t expect to ever be completely “OK” with my weight, I take refuge in the fact that I still have all my teeth.
You’re more honest than most and braver than many, and for that I applaud you.
And you don’t have meth face! Also a bonus.
[Reply]
1:16 pm on January 6th, 2009
As someone who saw (and I think she would say “helped”) Lemmonex through the weight loss, it’s hard for me to look at these pictures of her and not get a little choked up. I’ll be honest … I don’t remember her looking like that. It’s something that’s been completely erased from my memory. I remember her being on the diet. I remember her crying to me once or twice about the diet (and other emotional distress that would have unhinged some people and forced them back on the opposite path of GAINING weight). But the Lemmonex of old? To me, she doesn’t exist. At least not in my memory.
I can say this because I don’t necessarily remember myself when I was fat, either. Or should I say, I remember being fat … it’s just hard for me to accept that I allowed myself to be that unhealthy or look that way. Yes, like our blogger extraordinaire, I, too, have struggled with weight all my life. When I was a kid, I was nicknamed “the Pilsbury Doughboy” (and yes, people would come up and poke my stomach … I didn’t, however, emit a bashful laugh.) In kindergarten, during our “Letter People” play, I was “Mr. M.” His mantra: “I much from morning to midnight, midnight to morning, munchy mouth.” Cute, huh? Yea, so was every year when we had to do our class weigh-in … the annual moment of terror that I dreaded more than anything, except for the presidential fitness test, which I inevitably failed. I remember my doctor (who later went to jail for murdering his son … no, i’m not kidding) told me when I was 10 that I was too fat and put me on an 800-calorie daily diet. It didn’t work. The only time I was ever thin in grade school was after my tonsils were removed in first grade … I remember losing eight pounds (on a first grader’s frame, that’s a lot). I was in heaven.
My first major diet came in high school … Medifast. I drank shakes and ate one meal a day. It was all the rage (Oprah did it!). I lost 30 pounds. I had gained them all back by college, when the summer after my freshman year I did Weight Watchers for the first time. Another thirty pounds came flying off (much to the annoyance of the fat older women in my hometown). I had packed it all back on again … plus another 20 or so … by the end of my senior year. I wasn’t done yet … I put on another 15 or so in grad school and topped off at 225 (though my guess is I was heavier than that at some point). I’m 5′10.
Now, add the fat to the fact that I’m a gay man … and you get all kinds of fucked up. I still don’t think being overweight is as bad for men as it is women, even gay men. But it’s still pretty bad. (Of course, what really makes me wonder is that I hated my body before I ever had a sexual identity … so what does that mean?) I finally took charge about 8 years ago, when I dropped 40 pounds on … yes, Weight Watchers (which is truly the only sane mass market diet in existence … if you’re considering any alternative, forget it … get on WW now. The other shit doesn’t work. You need to learn how to eat and WW does that). I stopped when I was feeling good and looking pretty good, but not exactly where I truly wanted to be. It took me another 7 years to commit to taking off that last 20 pounds (and I could make this response a lot longer by going into why I stopped when I did and how I think it’s totally fucked up). But anyway, last summer, I did it. I got into size 31 pants. I cried in the dressing room when it happened.
As Lemmonex can attest, not an hour goes by that I don’t think about what I’ve put in my body that day or how much I’ve burned off. My office thinks I’m nuts because I can tell you the calorie count in every single food. I work out twice a day (especially now that I’ve gained a few after the holidays). Sometimes I even scare myself. It’s probably not healthy to live this way. Lemmonex and I even fight about our mutual obsession because it reinforces unhealthy thinking in each other. Will we always be this way? Maybe, and maybe that’s all right. My heart is healthier. My muscles are more in shape. My bones will be less brittle when I’m older. My blood pressure is no longer high. I’ll take a few freakouts over a five to ten pound gain, so long as I don’t gain 15, 20, 30, 40, 50 ever again. Nothing scares me more than being fat again. Nuclear war? eh. Terrorist attack? I’ll live through it. Being single the rest of my life? No problem. Hell, bring on Armageddon and the anti-Christ. Just don’t make me fat again.
What’s really fucked up is how I’m simultaneously defensive about anyone who’s fat … yet judgmental. I look at fat people and think, damn, lose the weight already. I cringe when people say “I’m proud to be fat.” I think they’re delusional. I don’t believe people when they say they’re dieting and exercising but can’t lose any weight. (I’m sorry, you’re doing something wrong.) Yet if some skinny asshole comments about how fat someone is, I’ll rise to the person’s defense. And I’ll be the first person to cheer on a friend who’s trying to lose weight. I hate fat jokes.
Anyway … back to my first point. Seeing these pictures of the old Lemmonex … I don’t remember her. I know she’s still inside the new and always will be (just as the Pilsbury Doughboy lurks within Bitchy. Old Lemmonex and the Doughboy are lifelong friends). As long as they stay on the inside, I guess that’s okay.
Bitchy, good God. Your first comment and I am sitting at my desk choking back tears. You definitely helped in more ways than you will ever know. I think Old Lem and the Doughboy understand each other in a way most others cannot. Thank you for…everything.
[Reply]
1:18 pm on January 6th, 2009
Lem, there are more of us out there than you can possibly imagine. By “us” I mean those that struggle with weight and other issues.
We all have demons and we are grateful that you share yours with us. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to share my demons. Till then I will live “Just for today”.
Oh, I really can imagine. Share when you are ready–this took me a LONG time.
[Reply]
1:44 pm on January 6th, 2009
Healthy eating + man’s appetite = hell
I feel you girl. This whole thing is such a bitch.
I’m proud of you for everything you do (including letting the liquor take over once in awhile and letting you down 3-5 pieces of pizza that you’ve been craving for months).
Sometimes the liquor is my boss.
[Reply]
1:47 pm on January 6th, 2009
As a representative male of the species, I can attest I am a fat kid. Especially since taking an office job and not surfing anymore. My last year in college I gained 30 lbs and cannot shake it. I am a big dude and in my head is a skinny little surf bum completely unaware of his true size. I hit the gym and do things to rid it, but I struggle. I like Banana Republic’s and Pink’s clothing, but I am too big. Add mass amounts of Ink and you get looks.
I understand where this post has come from and I applaud you. You are someone I truly respect.
This struggle touches men and women alike. Thank you for the nice words, JP.
[Reply]
2:14 pm on January 6th, 2009
I’m not sure what you do on the treadmill, but I would highly recommend group exercise classes. While I don’t love going to the gym still, these are a fun, motivational way to keep yourself in the skinny pants. I am a big fan of the spinning classes in particular.
Welcome, Lex. Maybe I will give spinning a go. Thanks for chiming in.
[Reply]
2:20 pm on January 6th, 2009
I have recently become a huge fan of this blog, and it is truly one of the highlights of my day. This post blows me away for it’s inspiring honesty and courage. I am a person that believes that we all struggle, particularly females, with weight and body image at some point in our lives, and I think it takes guts to talk about that struggle with such honesty. I love this blog! Keep up the good work!
Thanks…in a way, I am sad we can all relate. Welcome to the fold.
[Reply]
2:42 pm on January 6th, 2009
Awesome post. People ask me all the time how I lost 75lbs from my days of playing ball. I tell them I stopped eating everything put in front of me and I started working with more than heavy weights. Now some kind of workout is part of my every day life as is managing my food. If I know I’m going out for a big meal at night, I take it easy during the day.
Yep, input vs output. No magic solution. Also, welcome!
[Reply]
2:48 pm on January 6th, 2009
Back home for the holidays my parents brought out a box of fat childhood photos for my husband to look at. I was mortified… I was so ugly and huge. But you know what? All he saw was a cute little girl. I didn’t get it.
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. Believe me, I know how it feels to look at those old pictures. But now I kind of understand what he was seeing. There may be a new improved Lemmonex, but to my stranger’s eyes, you were cute and radiant back then too.
Congratulations on your accomplishment.
Thanks, Bonnie. Doesn’t offend me at all. At the time those pictures were taken I was really happy. You can tell.
[Reply]
3:01 pm on January 6th, 2009
You are a brave, strong, beautiful person.
The best workout for me is dancing–learning all the Latin Cardio–Especially Zumba and Ballroom…but besides that…I am already dreading getting on the treadmill today so you KNOW I feel you there.
I think as a naturally slender person with the appetite of an unhealthy male, I often forget all the work it takes for most other people to get there…and in turn feel glad I finally got healthy for myself.
I am so proud of you for taking your health and your body image in your hands and making your OWN destiny.
Had to add the cheese. Love you xo
Thanks! And now I want cheese. xo
[Reply]
3:05 pm on January 6th, 2009
Wow! Good job.
I always thought you were skinny Minnie, little did I know.
Did your social life change?
Hmm, well…it is hard to gauge. I broke up with an ex mid weight loss so there were a lot of factors going on. I would say losing weight and being single was a perfect storm to create social chaos. My dating life definitely changed.
[Reply]
3:12 pm on January 6th, 2009
Curvey little Lem
Looking hot no matter what.
Keep struttin’ that stuff.
I will, I will. Never doubt it.
[Reply]
3:47 pm on January 6th, 2009
The first 40 lbs were relatively easy…they wanted to go. The last 25 was when it got really hard.
Weight loss often seems to follow that pattern. The pounds come off quickly at first, and then more slowly. It’s actually a good thing, as otherwise people would get discouraged at the lack of early progress.
Peter
I agree. You have to see results to keep chugging along.
[Reply]
4:00 pm on January 6th, 2009
You know I’m proud of you for posting this but on the for real / forserious tip…
Hold the phone… are you saying you’re working with a “wooty”. I should have known…..
When you said you were coming up with a new birthday dance I never knew you meant this?
http://bossip.com/66041/a-whooty-a-white-girl-with-a-booty/
VK, you have TOUCHED my wooty. You claimed it was an accident.
[Reply]
4:12 pm on January 6th, 2009
Don’t you find Joanie on Mad Men inspiring too? If there was ever a model for body acceptance- holy shit.
She is amazing. Love her.
[Reply]
4:45 pm on January 6th, 2009
“I sometimes imagine what I can eat as a result of a trip to the gym…probably not the healthiest thing but whatever.”
I do the same exact thing in reverse–I look at the calorie counter and think of it as counting down what I ate earlier in the day.
Clearly this is something that’s resonated with a lot of people, so I don’t know what I can add except my voice to the chorus of accolades.
Whatever keeps us moving I think.
[Reply]
4:54 pm on January 6th, 2009
You are an amazing person for so many things. You really are.
That means a lot coming from someone I respect so much.
[Reply]
5:44 pm on January 6th, 2009
Keep fighting the good fight! You look amazing.
Thanks Player.
[Reply]
8:25 pm on January 6th, 2009
I lost about 65 pounds too.. and then gained back about 40 of it. I can’t seem to stay at the gym on a regular basis and I’m too exhausted with life to bother with a strict diet.
I try to remind myself I’d rather be a bit bigger and off the drugs than super skinny and addicted.
But I still crave to be a size 8 again.. and to love the gym again.. and to just have a routine.
No one else can do it but me. It’s getting my ass in gear that I’ve found pretty difficult.
I cannot agree more; keeping your focus on being clean is so much more important.
[Reply]
8:34 pm on January 6th, 2009
Lem –
Right now: Down 15. Watching diet (not only input/output but also what kind of stuff I eat) , whipping out a mini-stepper at home almost every evening, and drinking a hella lot more water (no WW yet, but that might be coming. We’ll see how well I do on my own first…)
Can hear you on all counts, and definitely extremely prod of you.
And just because I really can’t help bringing out the Mix-a-Lot… “Little in the middle but she got much back…”
(ducks)
~S~
Good job…every single little thing counts. Keep at it.
OH MY GOD BECKY!
[Reply]
9:07 pm on January 6th, 2009
Oh, I hope you are not unhealthily hard on yourself. You are so beautiful.
Hi Reagan, welcome. Also, thanks…check is in the mail.
[Reply]
10:17 pm on January 6th, 2009
In honor of Lem
This haiku has
Lost some syllables
And they ain’t coming back!
Kudos to you. I have to say however, that the Jan 2006 picture is tres sexy. (Appealing to your french roots here)
I don’t have the fat, but I always had the sexy. Thanks jman.
[Reply]
11:56 pm on January 6th, 2009
My Beautiful little lemmy has always been more and more gorgeous to me each and every day of her life. I have and always will love the this truly wonderful daughter of mine. She started out as the most happy and curious child you would have ever met. She was not fat as a baby but then when she got to school things changed for her. MOST boys, young in elementary schools are frightened off by strong brilliant women. And my Lem was always strong and always brilliant.
I think the weight really started in Jr. High. Boys can be mean to heavier girls and she wasn’t all that heavy then. I think she had been so hurt by boy classmates as well as the perfect twiggy cheerleader type that it almost destroyed her. Thats when all the bad habits really began to show up.
She’d also gone through some very life altering events that she shouln’t have had too. Lots of people tried to knock her down, whether it was at school or members of her own family….the may have hurt her more than she could handle, or so she thought, because she is now coming out of it on the other end stronger and prouder and more radiant than ever.
But there is one thing you all must know, true beauty is really skin deep. Lem was always gorgeous with those she loved and those that loved her.
I am so proud of her weight loss, it seems to me that her outside beauty is trying to catch up with her inside beauty.
I love you my Darling Lem!
I wouldn’t say it almost destroyed me, but thanks mom. I love you too.
[Reply]
12:24 am on January 7th, 2009
you look great lem! you are a wonderful person INSIDE (where it counts most, obviously) and out
Thanks FF. You are too nice.
[Reply]
4:15 am on January 7th, 2009
After S. America my stomach became very sensitive to dairy and fat. I avoid thick sauces, ice cream, fried foods, etc. in large amounts because of general GI distress.
In other words I suggest getting infected with giardia.
I really should have thought of that.
[Reply]
8:21 am on January 7th, 2009
Oh Lemmy. You know how I feel about this. I struggle with how to accurately explain my empathy, my pride. I don’t even know where to start. Just know that those who don’t have to ever think about it are fewer and further between than those whose struggle in one form or another every day.
You are awesome. I love you.
I know you know. Thanks for always being so honest with me.
[Reply]
8:32 am on January 7th, 2009
I just wanted to add my congratulations and thanks for your candor.
As someone in the midst of the struggle, I can absolutely relate to what you are saying. I started Weight Watchers in April of 08 and have lost about 38 lbs so far – 22 more to go to goal. And yes it is certainly getting harder!
What I appreciate about what you said specifically is that it is an ongoing process – you go up, you bring it down. Life happens. You get back and get serious and deal with the pounds you put back on. Success comes from constantly getting back to it, even when you know you’ve gone off the rails a bit. That’s what I feel proud of. Forget being “perfect” – it’s impossible. And who would want to be! It’s not losing sight of the goal and getting back to it over and over again that makes it work.
I had a friend in my WW meeting who had lost over 70 lbs. He was a great inspiration and one of the best things he ever told me was, “The only way to fail is to quit.” I have come back to that time and again when I am sick of it or envious of other people eating or gaining back some I had just lost.
Anyway, I hope you can hear the applause. Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment and thanks for sharing your story. I’ll remember it!
Thanks, Magic, and welcome! Congrats on the 38…I know how hard it can be, especially this time of year. One of the rules I live by is just because I messed up a meal doesn’t means I have to mess up a day or the week. Always climb back on the horse. Best of luck to you.
[Reply]
9:46 am on January 7th, 2009
[...] 7, 2009 by Lemmonex Thanks to everyone. Yesterday was a huge leap of faith and I cannot thank you enough for holding me close to your collective [...]
3:10 pm on January 7th, 2009
‘Sexy’ knows no waist size.
Really.
You are a wise man.
[Reply]
4:11 pm on January 7th, 2009
I think it all comes down to portion control. Grazing throughout the day instead of huge meals can work, but it all depends on your metabolism.
But, just for the record, I always thought you were beautiful. And you always will be.
Thanks, SF. Portion control is obviously the key but if you a compulsive overeater…not as easy as it sounds.
[Reply]
4:29 pm on January 7th, 2009
I would never have guessed, knowing only the thinner YOU! Several of my neighbors have totally turned their lives around with Weight Watchers. It’s a program that works without a lot of pain and sacrifice.
So much of life is about balance, moderation, and not sitting on a couch all the time. Kudos to you and to everyone else who has been there and done that.
I hope you will never again have to make such an effort. But you know we will all love you no matter what size you are!
WW definitely changes lives. I think it is the only way to go.
[Reply]
12:49 am on January 8th, 2009
so great to see the pics of good ‘ol lem and see how far you’ve come. it’s interesting last time you posted a similar post it prompted me to get to oa. i had been planning to get back to ww today for some time now but this was a great kick in the butt. was the leader you liked melvin?
Yes! He is wonderful. Honest, admits his own struggles, funny as hell…he is wonderful.
[Reply]
4:22 pm on January 11th, 2009
Well, you are very pretty. Keep exercising, try to do something you like, for example, I love dancing. You should try.
besos.
Welcome, Maria. I think a dance class could actually be really fun.
[Reply]
3:13 pm on January 12th, 2009
Hat’s off, Lemmony. I’ve lived it also…went from 277 to 190 during 2003 (we had a 2-month weight losing contest at work…$75 entry fee and $2500/$500/$100 prizes for 1st/2nd/3rd.)
I gained it back when I went to work for a startup, firm went bankrupt, got unemployed, went to another startup, was successful…endless rounds of investor dinners and too much scotch.
Starting again. 270.5 lbs on 1/4/09, 264.5 today. Writing down everything I eat and have not tasted of the vine since 12/28/08.
Thanks for reminding me it’s possible and it’s universal. I’m a guy, btw.
It really is universal…and possible. Thanks for sharing.
[Reply]
10:32 pm on February 26th, 2009
I have to say you are looking pretty hot…I would love to share some pleasures with you of a different sort!
[Reply]
5:22 am on February 27th, 2009
Congrats, and a fun posting too.
BTW, have you considered giving the low-carb/Paleo/Primal approach a try? Loads of people find that it takes and keeps the weight off while allowing for plenty of good eating. Basically: cut the stupid carbs ‘way down, get rid of the lousy oils, avoid packaged foods, eat protein, don’t be afraid of good fat, and … well, that’s about it. Super easy, once you get the hang of it.
[Reply]
10:01 am on March 1st, 2009
Congrats. What an inspiration. I lost 20 pounds and am trying to lose 10 more. Here’s my tell all confessional . My secret: make my daily weighing my home page!
Maintenance is probably harder than losing.
Observation: I think it’s hard being a foodie and trying to lose weight at the same time. When you make your own meals, you can’t really control the portions as easily. (Btw, I’ll try your Bolognese sauce. thanks!
[Reply]
10:04 am on March 1st, 2009
One piece of advice for people thinking of losing weight: take some fat photos of yourself before you embark on it. People who are overweight seem to be allergic to having their photos taken. I could not find any.
[Reply]
11:48 pm on June 17th, 2009
[...] inspiration? Here’s a lady who lost 65 pounds and kept them off for 3years and [...]
10:14 am on June 24th, 2009
Hi,
I’m currently on South Beach Diet. Started 2 days. I’m working out more than specified coz I want to. Its hard. Thanks for writing this. Book marked it to read on those particularly hard days.
I do hope to lose about 70 pounds. Its madness if I don’t. Sigh.
Thanks again.
[Reply]
1:51 pm on August 11th, 2009
[...] to me. Lexa lost 65 pounds with Weight Watchers, and chronicled a bit of her journey here. I love the fact that she is so honest here, and so real about how hard it was. About the fact [...]
8:25 am on August 27th, 2009
That
[Reply]
1:09 pm on August 27th, 2009
Of course, what a great site and informative posts, I will add backlink – bookmark this site? Regards, Reader.
[Reply]
9:28 am on September 1st, 2009
You are a very smart person!
[Reply]
8:48 am on December 19th, 2009
congrats on losing hte weight
[Reply]