I was discussing this past year with a friend the other day. I said 2008 “sucked pretty hard”. Truth of the matter is only a portion of it– the middle part–was B.A.D. bad. There was some loveliness at the beginning and at the end. I actually have some super, duper incredibly pants-wetting exciting news I hope to share soon that makes up for a lot of the bullshit this year brought but you are going to have to wait on that.
In retrospect, I realize this is the year I finally grew up. Now don’t go expecting me to wear turtlenecks and sensible shoes, but somewhere around July something clicked. I stopped holding my hand to open flames, I started watching out for myself a little more, and I managed to take some responsibility for some spectacularly huge fuck ups. 2008 is the year I stopped seeking comfort in chaos and validation at the expense of my own self worth. I began demanding a little more for me from myself and from others. There were a few setbacks, but I never said I wasn’t a work in progress.
This is not to say there was not some fun because, Jesus Christ in a Miniskirt, there was some fun. Lord knows there is never a dull moment up in here. I don’t expect the good times to come to a halt in 2009; my eyes will always glint with a shimmer of trouble, my laugh will remain forever loud, and my glass will remain full of Jack Daniel’s and guarded, secret optimism. I cannot imagine life any other way.
How to wrap up a random year? Why, a random post of course. Here are some things–food related, life related, blog related, Lemmonex related–that remind me of 2008. Behold, a hodgepodge of the year that was:
- Times I used the word vagina on this blog: 4
- Times I have managed to say it on a first date: every time
- Favorite recipes this year: Carrot Cake, French Onion Soup, Filet in Merlot Reduction
- Post/Recipe people mention to me the most: “Trailer Trash” /Jello Poke Cake
- Favorite “Product”: MAC TECHNAKOHL Liner in GraphBlack and Fresh Sugar Lemon
- Time I have considered quitting the blog: 5
- Favorite search terms that brought people here: “Stripper ass” “show me your tits” “Roissy Harem DC” “jew lover lemmonex”
- Besides Lemmonex and Culinary Couture top search term to get people here: HUGE
- Steadfast Enemy: the 7 pounds I continually gain and lose
- Favorite Moment of the Year: When MamaBear almost incited a political riot
- Number of flirty emails and online dating profiles I have crafted for various friends because of supposed “mad skillz” in this area: I lost count at 30
- Number of boyfriends I have or amount of helpful advice I can actually provide: 0
- Number of times I almost burnt down my kitchen: 1
- Favorite trend here at Culinary Couture: the haikus, hands down
- Most Popular Posts: Your Food Goddess, A Letter to My Body, Little Black Dress, Go Big or Go Home, and Come on Baby, Let Me Show You My Tattoo
- Top Songs on My iPod: Drive by the Cars, Beautiful Child by Rufus Wainwright, No Myth by Michael Penn, Stop Me by Mark Ronson, and Paul McCartney by the Scissor Sisters
- Biggest Culinary Screw Up of the Year: Mussels in Wine and Herbs
- Favorite New Restaurant (for me): Central
- Friends and strangers I have come to adore through blogging: countless
I really have no idea what 2009 will bring; I certainly didn’t expect anything that happened this year. Resolutions aren’t really my style so I won’t sit here and make empty promises. I will merely say thanks for coming along for the ride. It’s been a crazy one and I have loved having you all as passengers on my bus to the Hell.
See you Monday with more recipes, more restaurant reviews, and more of the same. Happy New Year’s, y’all.
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{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
Really? Only 4? I feel like it should’ve been more than that.
Happy new year!
I was surprised myself.
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I am so glad you didn’t quit your blog 5 times, because reading here brings me a little bit of joy every day! I love being a part of your blog as a commenter and I am delighted to know you in person now too! Keep it up in 2009 – I always love to try your recipes.
Thanks, CH. Knowing you has been great, too. You are such a genuine person.
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Happy New Year to one of my favorite new friends of 2008! Thanks for a great year, where even the bad days were sort of good (thanks again for drinking champagne with me the day I lost my job).
Now, go change your pants. Ew.
Of course. Always there for you. Thanks for enduring all those times I stuffed you in my purse.
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That by-the-numbers recap, while adorable, doesn’t even begin to encapsulate your awesomeitude. Happy new year, my lovely!
And happy new year to you, too. Your visit is so close I can almost taste it.
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I’m glad you didn’t quit either. Your blog makes me smile every.single.morning. Thanks for being a part of my life
I wish you nothing but sex and food and love and laughter in 2009!
Thanks for being part of mine as well, lady. I hope for those things too…for you and me.
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I thought I was the only person in the world with “No Myth” on my iPod. And my boy Rufus?
Again I say, we will share a toast, you and I, very soon.
2009 is the year. Mark my words.
“No Myth” and “Beautiful Child” are my two favorite songs. I have tentative hope for 2009. I hope I can tell you that you were right.
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As so often happens to me, I’m confused. Does the “4 times” mentioned early on count the one in today’s blog? Does that make it 5?
And thanks for the great salty chocolate chip oatmeal cookie recipe. Several batches have now been prepared in my home, and I always manage to get at least a few.
Does not count the times mentioned in this post…hm. Tricky. And so glad you liked the recipe! I need to make them and post them soon. Probably not in January though.
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Number of times you face-planted in a hallway? …
I heart you, woman. Thank you for justifying me, every single day.
But the face plant was so graceful. God, I am a mess.
Hey, you have done your fair share of justifying…so thank you.
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I know have “Burning Down the House” stuck in my head. Eh… It could be much worse music feeding the earworm…
Most of cooks/chefs do that at some point… I just forgot that this year’s incident wasn’t in the kitchen for you.
“jew-lover lemmonex”. This shiksa can’t help but smile at that.
~S~
Now I have Burning Down the House stuck! Damn you, woman.
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Thanks for making our days a little (lot) brighter Lem. Since I don’t drink coffee I have to count on you(r blog) to wake me up.
Oh, and I’m with -66, I’d sworn it was more.
See ya in ‘09.
I have to amp the vagina count in ‘09. Thanks, Kevin.
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Feh. That “know” should have been now.
We love typos here…no worries.
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And a Happy New Year to you…in jail! Go on home, they’re waiting for you!
(to be read in the voice of “Mr. Potter”)
Mr. Potter? Like Harry Potter? I didn’t read Harry Potter.
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happy new year to you, sister! ill be around for the 2009 ride, for sure.
ps- you know i love me some rufus also. it’s one of the first things i realized we had in common (among heaps) when i first visited this bloggyspace of yours. and also, it’s the title of yesterday’s post of mine. go f’king figure.
cheers!
Cheers, lady. Rufus is really a uniter, not a divider.
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Happy New Year!
BTW, you could totally turn this blog into a kick ass cookbook. Each recipe preceded by a personal account related to it. All those people who are not into blogging are missing out. They not only would get a yummy recipe, but a creative anecdote before it. Blogs have been turned into books … just look at “Stuff White People Like”.
Sorry, I don’t know where that tangent came from. That thought just popped in my head.
All the best to you!
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I hope one day to get more serious about my writing, but I am realistic about such things.
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So glad our paths crossed this year. I look forward to more culinary inspiration in 2009. I can’t wait to hear the pants-wetting news!
I can’t wait to share it…and same here.
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I’m kind of impressed that you’ve managed to say “vagina” on every first date. Those are some mad conversation skills, right there.
It just comes out, usually in the context of me discussing being a Women’s Studies major in college. Then they run out screaming–wonder why.
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Glad to have participated in the non-sense with you! ‘09 should be more interesting then this round. Bring on the foolishness!
The foolishness with be broughten.
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As in “It’s a Wonderful Life” Mr. Potter.
I forgot you hate Christmas.
Oh yeah…not my thing. Sorry. Please don’t hate me.
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That Jello poke cake post is hilarious. Happy new year.
I had fun with that one. I am glad I amuse more than just myself. Happy new year to you.
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Ha ha… number of times you almost burnt down your kitchen!! I violated Kitchen Safety Rule #1 this Thanksgiving. Really, this isn’t even on the list of rules, since it’s really in the category of mind-numbingly stupid.
I deep fried a turkey on my stovetop. Yes, I forgot to fill up the propane. But damn if I was going to roast that thing, sometimes risks must be taken. In the end I went slowly and was able to cook the beast without burning my house or creating a superfund site.
On your stove top?! You seem like a swell guy Jamie, but not the smartest move. Glad you made it out alive.
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not that it makes me unique, but i don’t do the resolutions either. if it’s a huge, catastrophic flaw – should i wait until the new year to fix it? and if it’s tiny, i’ll forget about the promise by January 3rd.
but big thumbs up to the Mark Ronson track.
Morrissey mixed with Ronson? It is lovely, isn’t it?
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I believe it’s good to say things like “vagina” on a first date – tests their mettle. Big hugs to you, Lemm. I hope you ring in 2009 with happiness and that it is a fantastic year for you.
It lets them know how I hang…Thanks Lisa. Same to you, as always.
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Happy New Year, Lem! Let’s hope 2009 sucks a lot less than 2008! (I’m all about aiming high.)
Glad we got to meet up and I continue to enjoy your blog so thanks for hanging in there.
Thanks so much… I say aim high always.
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Well done! May 2009 be a total success. Happy New Year!
I have a feeling things are looking up.
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I really enjoy your recipes. I love to cook and you seem to love it just like I do – willing to change things up and try something new. Can’t wait for more!
And the use of vagina on MY blog? Zero. I have some serious work to do in 2009.
Everyone needs a little more vagina int heir lives. Thanks for the nice words.
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Number of reasons why I am a fan of this place – damn it there has got to be a sign for infinity on this keyboard somewhere.
Happy New Year, Lem.
And an infinitely happy new year to you.
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Thank you so much for your blog. I started reading long before I posted and it really helped me during some dark times in the late winter/early spring. You always make me laugh and the cooking inspired me.
Keep up the good work and Happy new year.
Thanks, bh. You guys have helped me a lot and you didn’t even know it. That’s so kind.
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Hope ‘09 is the Year of Lemm (and Katherine)!
Hoping indeed.
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Also, I just noticed…both of us wear Fresh Sugar Lemon. Spooky.
I love it; so clean and wonderful and full of citrus. It is super lemony though; I think it is a love it or hate it kinda deal.
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Happy New Year, Lem! I am glad you didn’t quit your blog as well–I am making your mac and cheese tonight, and never would have had the recipe without you! I love reading, and your blog was definitely one of my great finds of ‘08. Thanks for writing and hope you have a great new year’s tonight.
Good luck with the mac and cheese. Thanks for continuing to visit.
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Happy New Year Lem!! I’m so happy I got to meet you this year… where were you when we were in school together?! Thank you for your loveliness and your “life changers” – they helped me seduce when wine was not an option.
Culinary Couture: helping women get laid since 2007.
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I’ve been taking off, and will re-start in the new year…. but I couldn’t resist not stopping by briefly and wishing you a happy new year! Looking forward to you keeping me laughing and well fed in 2009.
We miss you, Doug. Come back.
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Do I get to claim some credit for startinn or at least egging on, the haiku trend? Or were there haiku galore before I came around? I’ve been needing some credit for something positive lately.
Thanks for a fun year in the interwebs.
Two thousand and eight
Was the year of Lemmonex.
Hot damn it was fun!
You do get to claim a lot of the credit. Thanks for it. Happy 2009.
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Thank you for all the little things that bring a smile to my face. May 09 bring you joy and laughter, and bring me more backless aprons.
I hope it brings you more than backless aprons, but I guess this is a start. Thank you, FA.
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Could a man get away with saying “penis” on each of his first dates? I would think not.
Peter
He could with me.
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You have a mac and cheese recipe?! And you didn’t tell me?! C’mon, woman.
Here it is…promise I wasn’t holding out on you.
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And … Happy New Year! (Knew I forgot something!)
Thanks!
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Congrats on the BC Award nommy! Just voted for you
Thanks, darlin’.
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as i have previously commented, central is my go to place. hny lem.
You have good taste.
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That is a fantastic list. =-) Happy New Year, Lem.
And to you too, lovey.
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Kiddo, I’ve come to believe that there is never an inappropriate time to say vagina. Especially the first date.
We know the truth.
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I make it a point to say the word “queef” on every first date.
2008 was the year we became friends so, for that, it falls into the good year category.
And we’re totes going to Shamrock Fest again this year. Tis tradition.
That does fall in to the good category. And I cannot imagine a St Patty’s Day without Shamrockfest.
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It’s never the word vagina that gets them running from me. It’s usually my part-time gig in the dildo factory. But nicely done! Besides, I’m all for separating the boys from the men, so cheers to you for spreading the word.
Super glad to have fallen into the lemmonex sphere of influence at the tail end of 2008. And very much look forward to following your adventures in 2009.
And glad to have you here, emma.
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At least now I will know if the first time we do something together you consider it a date! And no mention of your first sonnet? Sic transit gloria mundi.
All tribute and praise
to the inimitable
magnificent Lem
Happy New Year
I adored the sonnet, I really did. I was remiss in mentioning it.
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