In high school, I used to pierce my own ears.
I’d bust in to my mother’s sewing kit, burn the needle with a lighter and then dip it in rubbing alcohol (safety first!) and go to town.
It was a practice that annoyed my mother endlessly, but seeing as it was a relatively harmless act of rebellion, she chose to ignore it. If you look closely at my ears, you can still see 6 holes in each lobe that I recklessly punched in.
I also dyed my hair blond.
I wore silver reflective sneakers.
I heavily rimmed my eyes every day with dark black eyeliner.
This all, at the time, seemed like a spectacularly good idea. I was young. What the hell did I know?
Now, I know better. The nose may be pierced, but I only have one hole in each ear. My hair is a normal, natural color. My shoes are fabulous and my make up…well, you know about me and my makeup.
But I have not learned all of life’s lessons, by a long shot.
A few weeks back I attempted to make a pizza dough…using all whole wheat flour. Something in the back of my mind told me this was a bad idea, but I forged ahead.
Yeah, it was a mess, a total mess. I should have known better. The crust crumbled and deteriorated…I was kicking myself for not only screwing it up, but making a rookie mistake.
So, three weeks later, I tackled pizza crust again, and victory was mine. Now, I have made pizza crust before, but it was the “quick” kind. This crust does need more than 35 minutes to rise, but if you have the time, it is worth it. It is a no knead recipe so it is is painfully easy; there really is no excuse not to try this at least once. Nothing really beats a pizza straight out of the oven…it is hot, fresh and way cheaper than delivery. I topped mine with a quick sauce I threw together, mozzarella, parmesan, caramelized onions, chicken sausage and artichoke hearts. I am currently entangled in a torrid love affair with artichokes and adding them to a pizza is my idea of heaven. Wine and pizza for lunch on my lazy Fridays off? Nothing could be better.
Lesson learned and I am all the better for it.
No Knead Pizza Crust
From Steamy Kitchen
2 3/4 cups lukewarm water
1 1/2 tbl granulated yeast
1 1/2 tbl salt
1 tbl sugar
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
6 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
Sauce and toppings
1. Mix the yeast, salt, sugar and olive oil with the water in a 5-qt bowl, or a lidded (not airtight) food container
2. Mix in the flour without kneading, using a large wooden spoon.
3. Cover (not airtight) and allow to rest at room temperature for about 2 hours. I took Jaden’s suggetion (she writes Steamy Kitchen) and let is sit over night in the fridge to let the flavors develop. I took it out the next day, let it come to room temperature and then rolled it out.
4. Preheat oven to 450 and place a cookie sheet in the oven to heat. On a floured surface, roll out dough. Spray sheet with Pam or oil it and prinkle with cornmeal if you have it on hand. Move dough to preheated sheet (it may tear a little; just pinch it together.) Brush with olive oil and add sauce and toppings. Bake for about 20 minutes.
Note: I halved this recipe for one pizza crust…
10:13 am on November 25th, 2008
mmmm…homemade pizza really is delightful.
It smells SO good.
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10:19 am on November 25th, 2008
As I enjoy my rather flavorless yogurt, your pizza makes me yearn for something more fulfilling. I gave up on dough for awhile until I get a proper mixer.
But you don’t need a mixer for this…problem solved.
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10:30 am on November 25th, 2008
mmmm artichoke hearts are one of my favorites. yum.
ps- i just got *almost* confirmation that ill be at the same place as you come octoberish of next you. though i have a feeling ill be seeing you sooner!
They are fab; I have taken to snacking on them. Much healthier than chocolate.
And ZOMG!
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10:31 am on November 25th, 2008
That sound you just heard was the slobber hitting my desk. No one will notice the drool marks on my paperwork, right?
No and I won’t tell.
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10:39 am on November 25th, 2008
What a fantastic photo that is! The photographer must be very charming and good looking.
She is, she really is.
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10:40 am on November 25th, 2008
Sweet I can’t wait to try this out! Nothing like flour dusting my kitchen island for dough, it makes me as giddy as a child playing in the snow.
It is quite fun, I agree.
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10:47 am on November 25th, 2008
It’s hard to get the crust on homemade ‘za sufficiently crispy. As I understand it, that’s because home ovens don’t get as hot as commercial ones.
Peter
Agreed, but it is pretty darn close.
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10:57 am on November 25th, 2008
That looks like it would be a delightful way to get my freezing apartment warmed up.
My apartment has been freezing as well…damn radiators.
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11:06 am on November 25th, 2008
I can’t recall the last time I made my own pizza dough… Gourmet Foods class probably, junior year of HS I think. No knead? No problem.
And seriously? You dyed your hair blond? I cannot even imagine this.
Me with blond hair is awful…really, really bad.
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11:09 am on November 25th, 2008
Well-played, dear. We’ll have to try again sometime, now that I’ve seen the end of the means. Or something.
You know my personal shame.
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11:13 am on November 25th, 2008
I understand the want to make “healthy” pizza. That said, when can I come play hooky with you on a Friday? Mmm.. weekday drinking and pizza…
Haha, let’s try to line up calendars…these Friday’s off are making me a drunk.
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11:30 am on November 25th, 2008
There was a girl at my school who dyed her hair, had a pierced nose, etc. I was terrified of her. I thought she literally might kick my ass for looking at her wrong.
A couple of years later, she asked me to be her date to Homecoming. I made her pay for my dinner.
I don’t do physical harm, just emotional. And good for you for getting a free dinner–a man has got to eat.
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11:38 am on November 25th, 2008
…like you weren’t a drunk before Fridays off.
Hmph…FINE. You win.
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11:40 am on November 25th, 2008
Well, that’s an odd coincidence. I made pizza for the first time in, I dunno, a year or so, and included both chicken sausage and artichoke hearts (among other things – I get a little carried away with my toppings). The dough was a standard no-yeast dough that takes very little time start to finish but needs 3-5 min. of kneading to get the texture right. Does this one handle the kneadlessness (new word! yay!) and heavy flour by simply being a roll-out pizza instead of tossed? What I mean is, does it have the traditional elastic quality?
It’s elastic…I really think it is quite a good pizza dough and the sitting over night helps develop the flavor.
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11:41 am on November 25th, 2008
Hrm. In “I made pizza for the first time in, I dunno, a year or so,” I managed to leave out the “last week”.
Gotcha.
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11:43 am on November 25th, 2008
My friends and I used to peirce our own ears, too! We actually took it to greater lengths, but then someone got an infected naval and that was pretty much the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.
Unfortunately, even at age 24 I still haven’t outgrown most aspects of my Bauhaus phase. All black wardrobe? Check. Too much eyeliner? Check. Chain going from my nose to my ear? On weekends, check.
No, I’m just kidding about the chain thing. I’m too paranoid someone’ll yank it like a bus request stop.
I sometimes wear too much eyeliner…still. I love it so.
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12:05 pm on November 25th, 2008
My best friend in middle school used to have about 17 safety pins in her ears. I thought she was soooo cool.
When I thought about doing it myself, I threw up. I’m such a wuss.
It really doesn’t hurt that much…at least I don’t remember it hurting.
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12:25 pm on November 25th, 2008
If you get in the habit of regularly making pizzas at home, I’d highly recommend buying a pizza stone for your oven. They are pretty cheap (as low as $10), and come the closest to simulating a brick oven pizza that you can expect at home. You’ll probably need a pizza peel, though, in order to place and remove the pizza on/from the stone.
I have thought of that…but God damn, my apartment is not that big and I already have so many gadgets.
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12:27 pm on November 25th, 2008
Now I want to spin some dough! No spinning for you?
Huh? I don’t get it. Like spin in the air?
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1:08 pm on November 25th, 2008
I’m not scared of needles by any means (I still have several piercings in each ear), but I can’t imagine doing it to myself. Eek.
On the pizza – you said the all whole wheat flour attempt was a mess, but if you want a wheat crust, can you do half wheat, half regular? Or some combination?
Yes, half and half would definitely work. Should have stuck to that…ugh.
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1:11 pm on November 25th, 2008
Yikes. Revisiting choices made in high school is always hilarious and fraught with peril. Here’s to growing up and making more sophisticated choices and delicious-sounding/looking pizza (which I’ve learned is harder than one expects).
Right…now, I am pure class.
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1:20 pm on November 25th, 2008
Pictures please.
Uh, yeah…no. But thanks for asking.
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2:24 pm on November 25th, 2008
The fact that you were able to tie together teenage rebellion with a pizza making disaster is somewhat stunning, in my opinion. You raised the bar pretty high though – next time I’m going to expect a story about your first bloody nose connected with a story about how the lobster you were going to use in the ceviche got up and told you he had so much life left in him.
One of these days I am gonna run out of ideas on how to tie these stories together and I am gonna be SCREWED.
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2:52 pm on November 25th, 2008
And what great hair and makeup you have, Ms. Lem. Aren’t you italian? Should this pizza making thing be instinctive?
Oh, and thanks for mentioning your burning loins in my blog today, the last time you spoke about them my traffic increased like 562%. Apparently your loins have a following in this town
haha *ducks and runs*
My loins have a following in every town, darling.
I am 50/50 French and Polish. That means I am dumb and uptight…a brutal combo.
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4:54 pm on November 25th, 2008
I gave myself a tattoo in high school.
Then I realized a penned drawing of Woody Woodpecker does not count as an official tattoo.
Was it on your ankle? Those were all the rage for your generation.
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6:06 pm on November 25th, 2008
Good for you for figuring it out. Not everyone does.
Thanks for sharing the pizza crust info, too. Looks fab!
I am not saying I have it all figured out, but I am getting there.
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9:28 pm on November 25th, 2008
Looks like a fabulous pizza! I had the same problem with whole wheat flour when I used it for empanadas. I resorted to white flour and no more problems. Maybe whole wheat is over-rated!
I bet white whole wheat may be a good alternative…hmmm.
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11:43 pm on November 25th, 2008
I would like to eat my way through that pizza, right to the Le Creuset lurking in the background, and then dry hump it (and you) into submission.
Perhaps a threeway with you, the Le Creuset and the pizza?
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1:53 pm on November 27th, 2008
Lisa’s talking about “spinning” the dough in the air, like you might see in New York-style pizzerias. You start by “stretching” the dough — putting the patty on a flour covered surface, and putting both hands on the dough so that the space between them looks like a triangle. Depending on your technique, you pull the dough with one hand, while keeping the other in place to form a crust. After you’ve, eh, tripled? the “footprint” of the dough, you catch the crust with one hand and “flip” it into the air, which continues to increase the “footprint.” Once you’ve got it the size you want, you put in on a screen or a peel (depending on if you’ve got a conveyor or brick-oven), sauce, top, and cook.
The first time I tried spinning a pizza dough, it landed on the girl standing next to me. She wasn’t wearing a hat, and apparently had quite a bit of trouble getting the dough out. Whoops.
Ha. Well, you have to make some mistakes along the way, ya know?
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11:11 am on December 2nd, 2008
The trick to doing whole wheat pizza dough is to add gluten to the mix. Whole wheat doesn’t have much gluten in it, unlike white, and that’s what makes the dough stretchy. Even if you do half wheat, half white, it’s best to add a teaspoon or so just to compensate for the wheat half.
Ah, super helpful. Thanks Luna.
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2:31 pm on December 10th, 2008
your blog is very good…
Why, thanks.
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