Comments on: Holy Trinity

By: Michael Blowhard

Michael Blowhard — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 02:42:01 +0000

Dave Chappelle had a funny routine about this. He was ragging on women’s mags and how they always have articles like “100 Ways to Make Your Man Happy!” According to Chappelle (I paraphrase, of course): “Ladies, there ain’t but four ways to make a man happy. 1) Suck my cock. 2) Play with my balls. 3) Make me a sandwich. 4) Don’t talk so much.”

The crowd roared, gals and guys both.

Truer words, Michael…truer words.

By: The Player to be Named Later

The Player to be Named Later — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:53:28 +0000

Already been caught Brett. Being wise & worldly you’ll bag a super keeper, no doubt.

By: Caitlin

Caitlin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:48:46 +0000

This rule doesn’t really work in our house, what with the man being a chef and all….but dallgum, that pork loin makes me moist in the loins. MOIST.

I dunno, lady…that chocolate cake the other day looked pretty freaking tasty. A man would stick around for that.

By: Brett

Brett — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:54:12 +0000

Thanks, Player. How you doin?

A possible love connection?

By: The Player to be Named Later

The Player to be Named Later — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:49:48 +0000

Your friend is mostly correct. If she’s not already doing so, she’ll be a fine catch for someone.

I think so indeed.

By: kjohnsonesq

kjohnsonesq — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:17:13 +0000

So here’s the thing. I’ve tried to cook. Really. I even attempted your apples, which scared the Holy Jesus out of me because they involved The Stove. *Gasp* But I tried, because you said they were so easy it was almost a cop out. AND I FAILED. I give up. I can’t cook. But I persist in reading your blog and it makes me REALLY REALLY HUNGRY. That pork picture? HUNGRY. And I just freaking had lunch. Thus, I propose a solution. Furniture for food. You cook and eventually, after a predetermined number of meal, I’ll buy you a couch. How about it?

OK, how did you mess up the apples? You learn when you mess up.

I would like a couch please.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:14:04 +0000

Don’t you hate it when the Interwebs are being funky and you hit the button twice and look like an impatient idiot? Yeah, me too.

All fixed–wordpress has been weird today.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:06:30 +0000

Everything comes down to the math:

(sex+food)+(praise)=love

Love is your known quantity, love is x. However you feel when you’re in (x), well, that’s love.

So, any combination of (sex+food) and (praise) can equal (x). If we’re getting a lot of (sex), we require less (food) since man can live on (sex) alone. As men, we consider (sex), (praise) in and of itself. It’s like you’re little gift to us for being good.

A good example of this would be an ex of mine who provided much of the former while I did all the cooking. And I liked it.

Conversely, if (food) is of a stunning quality [quality has its own quantity], the (sex) can be of a lesser quantity [but still of high quality] and you will still have the same sum: (x).

(Football) falls into the (sex) category and can act as a partial substitute as it stimulates the same area of our underdeveloped brains.

(Beer) is the wild card and can be used to increase the value of all three factors. Not getting enough (sex)? Increase your (beer) intake. (Beer)=(food), nuff said. Girlfriend or boss giving you a hard time? Have some (beer) and you’ll make it all better.

Like a physicist attempting to unify gravity, the strong and weak nuclear forces, and electromagnetism into the Theory of Everything, we can, and probably will, continue on this mathematical journey for a lifetime.

Wow. You put some thought in this.

Also, beer can sometimes make sex…impossible.

By: freckledk

freckledk — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:18:56 +0000

Hair product? Tequila? I can think of one other thing, but it isn’t TMI Thursday….

Tequila! That is it.

By: freckledk

freckledk — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:35:29 +0000

Women need food, water and compliments, so we’re about even.

Maybe sustenance is one category? I dunno, seems like something is missing.