An inordinate amount of ass smacking took place Saturday night. My hand, in fact, is still sore. Poor LiLu…it was her birthday and she took a lot of abuse.
I figure it all evens out though. She doesn’t remember this–perhaps too much cider?–but earlier in the night she came bounding up to me as I iced a cake. I had used a 8″ chef knife, trying to create a smooth sheen with the liquid velvet icing. LiLu took one look at the knife, dripping in frosting, and attempted to lick it, sharp side first, two times. I am glad I was there to save her from herself, but she had those ass smacks coming after that foolishness.
It was a pity to have to do it, though. LiLu is truly a sparkling little light in every single one of my days. Sometimes I want to send the internet a dozen roses for introducing us. The other day, she referred to us as “secret shame” friends. I would say that is a pretty accurate assessment. If I were to say, “Hey, LiLu, sometimes I watch “Beaches” for two days straight, never changing my underwear, all while surviving on Elio’s pizza, Chubby Hubby and Arbor Mist”, she’d be like “I did that last week…you better invite me next time”. She is a wonderful, hysterical judgment-free zone…with a highly slappable ass.
For such a friend, I had to make a very special birthday treat. (As if saving her tongue from a tragic severing wasn’t enough.) She loves her peanut butter, so I found this recipe for chocolate brownie cookies and made some tweaks. Yes, you read that right. Chocolate Brownie Cookies. I added some peanut butter chips (chocolate chips were an option in the original recipe) and topped them with Reece’s Pieces candy. True to billing, they were chewy and soft like a brownie, but had the crispness on the outer layer like a cookie. These disappeared pretty damn fast and I cannot say I blame the crowd; this is one great cookie.
Nothing is too good for my girl. Happy birthday, you hooker.
Peanut Butter Chocolate Brownie Cookies
Adapted from Joy the Baker
8 ounces bittersweet chocolate (chopped or in chips)
3 Tablespoons (1 1/2 ounces) butter
1 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoons salt
1 cup peanut butter chips
1 box or 2 packets Reece’s Pieces
In the microwave, gently melt together the chocolate and butter. To avoid heating the chocolate too much and possibly burning it, the best method is to heat till the butter is melted and the chocolate has partially melted, then remove from the heat. Stir till all the chocolate melts.
In a separate bowl, beat together the sugar and eggs till they’re thoroughly combined. You don’t need a mixer, just do it in a medium sized bowl with a wooden spoon. Add the hot melted chocolate, then stir in the remaining ingredients. Refrigerate the batter like dough for 1 hour, to make it easier to handle.
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Lightly grease (or line with parchment) two baking sheets, three if you have them.
Drop the cookie dough by the tablespoonfuls (about the size of a small ping pong ball) onto the prepared baking sheets. Leave about 2″ between the dough balls, as they’ll spread as they bake.
Bake the cookies for 11 to 12 minutes, until their tops are shiny and cracked. They won’t crack until the very end, so keep a close eye on them; when they’re cracked all the way across the top surface, they’re done. Remove the cookies from the oven, and top each with a few Reece’s Pieces. Wait 5 minutes then transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool.
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Sadly enough, every single word of this is true. Except it’s not sad at all. Because I absolutely adore you. I would totally have a threesome with the interwebs as a thanks for meeting you. Except, you know, no kissing. Because that’s just weird.
Also, I LOVE ELLIOS. AND CHUBBY HUBBY. And can I have Fresca instead of Arbor Mist? With lots of vodka? AND, you know we totally wouldn’t be wearing underwear. I’m getting a onesie with feeties for this adventure.
Love you, Lem. Thanks a million.
No kissing! Prostitute sex only please. Also, purple velvet onesies only, thanks.
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I am drooling over those cookies, good lord woman don’t tease this early in the morning.
I am sad I missed all of the ass-slapping, but glad you represented. Tell the hooker I said happy birthday.
Side note, I had duck prosciutto, fennel sausage, kick ass sweat breads and a Pumpkin Brulee last night and a Glenfidich 18year single malt–I am still smiling this morning. Its the little things that make me smile.
Oh, that sounds divine. Sweet breads and pumpkin brulee all in one sitting? I think I would die of happiness.
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Fuck. I missed this too?!
Yes, yes you did.
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Ima have to make these for Halloween. Also I need costume ideas.
Hm, don’t be Sarah Palin…everyone is!
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My mouth is watering. These look sinfully good! I can almost taste the sweet peanut butter. (I need to eat breakfast…)
They were a tad over the top, but I think overkill is necessary on birthdays.
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OMG, you HAVE to make me those for my bday (1/21)… i will be your best friend forever!!!!! seriously, seriously. peanut butter and chocolate is beyond heaven for me, seriously. i order it at ice cream shops, i order it a cheesecake factory… LOL!! xo
Of course I will make these for you for your birthday! Us Capricorns are givers like that.
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Oh my- I feel like I just cheated on my diet!
Those look and sound absolutely sinful!!!!!!
You can cheat–I won’t tell.
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I can’t figure out whether I-66 missed the ass-slapping, the cookies, or Liv trying to lick a sharp knife. It’s bad enough he missed the beatdown.
I think the worst part is he missed these cookies. OK OK, the beatdown was pretty good, too.
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That is just wrong because a. I have no chocolate and b. I have no peanut butter and c. I now have to get up, get dressed, look presentable and schlep to the Giant for ingredients to have those cookies. Immediately.
I am cruel…I am so sorry for making you get dressed.
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The best thing about those cookies is that they got better as I scrolled down the page. First I was like “yum, chocolate cookies.” Then I scrolled past the first dot, and thought “ooooh, yum. Chocolate M & M cookies.” Then I read the title and their full glory was revealed.
They are truly magical…it is unexpected, so there is an element of surprise when people take a taste.
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I dunno how you did it, but somehow you made me forget all the ass slapping and make-out/threesome threatening… and now all I can think about is….. cooooooookkkkkiiiiiieeeeeeeessssssss
Wow, those are some magical cookies, indeed.
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Other people had the idea to be Sarah Palin?! Dag nabbit. Gosh darn right they did. Maybe I can be Tina Fey being Sarah Palin. Hmmm? Help me!!
thanks
Oh, that is meta. Fey as Palin is good…draw a scar on your face.
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Peanut butter chocolate brownie cookies!!!! Keep this up and I might have to propose
but only if they come with lots of ass slapping.I don’t think your girlfriend would like that DF.
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The cookies, LiLu’s ass and the 10-layer cake all rocked. Thanks for bringing ‘em. Thanks even more for the recipe.
Like -66, I’m still annoyed I missed the beat down.
I am glad you liked them…I was waiting for someone who ate them to actually chime in in support.
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Those cookies were seriously good. I’m sure my carrot cake will be equally yummy.
It will…let’s try to make a date soon for me to bake for you.
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I gained five pounds just from looking at the picture of those cookies.
I’m sure my carrot cake will be equally yummy.
Carrot cake is evil.
Peter
You hit the gym enough…it will be ok. And carrot cake is heaven!!
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my aunt makes chocolate cake cookies, i was confused at first, but the texture explains it all.
It is all about the texture…I bet they are great.
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And carrot cake is heaven!!
If so, hell is looking better and better.
Seriously … an ex once tricked me into eating carrot cake, despite being away of my loathing for that particular food, telling me it was “spice cake.” It would be an exaggeration to say that I dumped her because of that incident, but it certainly was a major factor in my decision. This was 20 years ago and I still remember it well.
Peter
Well, we can agree to disagree, Peter. Carrot cake is my favorite but I hope you don’t think less of me. (I would be super pissed if someone tricked me in to eating coconut, btw.)
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Mmmm…ass slapping….
Everyone loves a good ass slap…
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Oh, my god. YUM. These look and sound like the most delicious thing you could put in your mouth ever ever ever. What a fantastic friend you are.
She is pretty swell too…and these are really easy to make so it isn’t that hard(but we will keep that a secret from her).
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K….you actually just made me start drooling and I can’t stop til I get those cookies
Make them! Or enter the contest and maybe you can win them…
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