At 13, D, I thought you were the cat’s pajamas.
At 13, you were it. When I wasn’t letting you cheat off of me in English class, I was busy scribbling your name in hearts. I deemed your last name ideal. My initials wouldn’t have to change. Lemmy Lemmonex-L’Frenchy? Porntastic perfection. I had flipped my lid.
At 13, you didn’t like me in that way. That way was the only way I wanted you to like me.
At 13, I was an adolescent prone to histrionics, drama and platitudes. I would listen to Vanessa William’s sing “Save the Best for Last” and cry, thinking you would one day come to your senses. You would wake up and know I was waiting for you.
At 13, I just wanted to hold your hand and cheer your name at basketball games.
At 14, I got over you. I became sick of doing your homework and stroking your ego. Infatuation is a fickle bitch; it slinks away as fast as it slithers in.
At 25, D, you found me on MySpace. At 27, you came knocking on Facebook.
At 27, you scare me. You look like you have developed a drinking problem and a steroid addiction. Your veins bulge, your hairline retreats and your eyes have dulled. The 13-year-old heart that beats inside me breaks just a little.
At 27, D, I feel grief and sadness when I look at you. There once was a time when my immature, lovestruck heart wanted to wait for you. And now? I’m doing my best, and thankfully, I did not save myself for you. I hope you get healthy.
Yep, that is the low fat cornbread underneath.
(I’ve saved the best for last… Healthy cooking month has come to an end, but I plan on continuing on the right path. When it is this good, it is not too hard to be healthy. Using extra lean ground turkey is usually kind of dicey–it can be very dry–but chili is the perfect home for it. Don’t let the chocolate scare you; this is not a sweet dish. The cocoa just adds depth and an unexpected flavor. This reheats perfectly for lunches and makes a ton of food.)
Turkey Chili
Nonstick spray
1 medium onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 package extra lean ground turkey (about 1 1/3 lb)
3-14.5 oz cans various beans, rinsed (I used black, garbanzo, and small white beans)
1-14.5 oz. can diced tomatoes
1-6 oz. can tomato paste
1 tomato, diced (you can leave this out…I just needed to use one before it went bad)
2 teaspoons cumin
1 tablespoon chill powder
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
Salt and pepper
Spray large soup pot with nonstick spray. Add onions and garlic and cook for about 6 minutes, until softened. Add turkey to pot, breaking up with wooden spoon. When the meat has cooked, add remaining ingredients to the pot and cook for about 25-30 minutes.
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HEY! Where are you going? Make sure you click over to So Good and see what I am up to this week.
9:00 am on October 1st, 2008
Nearly every single older guy I used to look up to in high school? Still lives within a 10 mile radius of that high school, working for their fathers and drinking the nights away with cheap beer and their same old friends, re-living the “glory days.” It should be called “Uncle Rico syndrome,” methinks.
If high school were the best years of my life, I would be sobbing.
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9:13 am on October 1st, 2008
My childhood crush is now my Facebook friend. Oh, how I used to pine for him. Now? Not so much. Maybe I just like ‘em young….
That chili/cornbread combo looks hella good. My tummy just gave a little gurgle of approval.
When I saw D, I was shocked. It did not end pretty for him…very sad.
Who doesn’t like them young–easier to teach, I say.
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9:20 am on October 1st, 2008
Ahh yes. There were a couple of girls I yearned for in my younger years, and well, let’s just say, the memory is definitely better than the reality. That said, there are a couple girls I didn’t pay a moment’s notice to that have turned out quiiiiite well. Isn’t amazing how that works?
This is why facebook is evil-I wish I could just live with the memories. His reality doesn’t look so kind, at least in my opinion.
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9:34 am on October 1st, 2008
Strong post.
Chili suggestion:
I like to get a melange (look at me, I’m using the thesaurus feature on my computer) of various peppers: anaheim, jalapeno, poblano’s, chipotles, habaneros, etc. Saute the diced peppers with the onions. If you like it milder, de-seed the peppers and dice the skins. Hotter, throw the whole shebang in.
Thanks.
I actually meant to throw a jalapeno in here as well…but forgot. I agree though–more peppers the merrier.
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9:41 am on October 1st, 2008
I LOVE coming out on top. Hell, even all the popular girls in my grade appear to be wearing “Mom Jeans” in their pictures on facebook.
Oh and I finally bought cauliflower to make your recipe! Peapod’s bringing it tonight
Yeah, as my friend Amelia like to point out “Dude, everyone is fat now.” I know, I know. it was ages ago…but still.
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9:42 am on October 1st, 2008
just one more reason im glad i dont have a facebook page!
xoxo
Facebook definitely is a bit evil…
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10:07 am on October 1st, 2008
Cornbread is underutilized as a… whatever you call it that you put shit on top of… food. There are few things it can’t do.
Cornbread….the miracle maker.
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10:08 am on October 1st, 2008
When I was little and living overseas, my first crush was a really cute blonde girl. The daughter of German diplomats that lived down the block from us on a cul-de-sac comprised solely of foreigners. I still have a photo of her from when my parents threw an exorbitant
excuse for them to get drunkbirthday party for me. I wonder about her from time to time, but I haven’t seen her again for close to twenty years. I’ve thought about looking her up through facebook but I fear it would spoil my memory of her.I think some memories should remain in the past–perfect and preserved, ya know?
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10:17 am on October 1st, 2008
I love it! I just made turkey chili on Saturday!!! =-)
Who doesn’t love chili?
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10:25 am on October 1st, 2008
You look like you have developed a drinking problem and a steroid addiction. Your veins bulge, your hairline retreats and your eyes have dulled.
If he’s got a more impressive, er, rack than a substantial percentage of women, you’ll know for sure that he’s using ‘roids.
Yeah, it is impressive alright. I really think he is, sadly.
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10:29 am on October 1st, 2008
Ah reunion. There are few feelings as good as being that guy who still has hair and stayed trim since leaving HS.
Right?! It seems a lot of my classmates found my lost weight.
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11:07 am on October 1st, 2008
“It seems a lot of my classmates found my lost weight.”
It’s called recycling! With Facebook one doesn’t even have to wait for reunions to have the “yikes” experience. Having just been to one I found it sad how many seemed to have an inability to socialize without getting lost in a beer haze. What may have been cute in hs crosses the line to pathetic at some point.
You on the other hand just needed to discover you were a very fine swan indeed in a crowd of ducks!
Everything worked out, indeed.
I can definitely socialize without the booze, but find I can tolerate most people better after a drink.
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11:52 am on October 1st, 2008
A. Don’t wreck on social lubricant. It’s been helping people survive awkward encounters for about 10,000 years (at least).
B. You would think there is poetic justice when a former hot alpha princess of the high school (now quite famine resistant) hits on you when her husband wonders off to get another round. It’s just pathetic. “I wonder if Southwest will let me move my flight up” pathetic. I declined.
Can females be alphas? If so, I am going to start thinking myself alpha.
Good on you for walking away, bh.
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12:02 pm on October 1st, 2008
Now-fat, gross big shots
Gifts of justice from Nature.
Suck it school A-list!
Justice is sweet, indeed it is.
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12:08 pm on October 1st, 2008
The Big reunion
Next year. Lord, those folks were lame.
Should I even go?
Yeah, I struggle myself. 10 year HS reunion is right around the corner…but I have promised a friend I would attend. I think I have to or my secrets will all be divulged.
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12:13 pm on October 1st, 2008
Absolutely, but the whole Alpha, Beta, Gamma thing is different for women than men. Think Mean Girls. Not Roissy.
Newsweek did a big article on it a few years ago. I couldn’t find it, but I’m sure somebody better tuned into the internets could.
Oh, ok. Big difference. I am not an alpha at all.
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12:16 pm on October 1st, 2008
As Marcella (Joan Cusack) said in Grosse Pointe Blank when Martin Blank asked her is she’d gone to her 10th high school reunion: “Yes, I did. It was as if everyone had swelled.”
So true. When I went to mine I was amazed to see how many cheerleaders had had three kids and how many of the football players had just plain gotten fat in 10 years.
The metabolisms slow and people get lazy. Plus, if I lived in the suburbs, I would probably eat a cheesecake a day to comfort myself.
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2:09 pm on October 1st, 2008
I went to my ten-year reunion, which was overpriced and anticlimactic. A hundred bucks for almost no food and a cash bar. A girlfriend and I snuck out early, met up with another friend, and had a slumber party at my apartment. Complete with ice cream, wine, and old yearbooks.
Now, that’s a reunion.
I wonder if you could have made wine floats? Some Cabernet with a scoop of french vanilla sounds tasty…
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2:17 pm on October 1st, 2008
I don’t think there’s karma against the hot people from high school — we only pay attention to the ones who’ve changed so much, and ignore the inconvenient cases who are still nice. Natalie Portman was a total cutie as a 15 to 18 y.o., and still is. Lots of other examples.
Similarly, we only pay attention to the uglies and plainies who turned out very different — ignoring the typical ugly who is still ugly, perhaps more so due to aging.
When people have their faces rated for attractiveness, the good-looking people in adolescence tend to be the good-looking ones later in life, even much later. We shouldn’t get too distracted by a few exceptional surprise cases.
Well, I think in some cases, the karma is you see what it is like on the other side. I am honestly not that bitter, but I only have myself to use for comparison. I still LOOKED like me in HS, just heavier.
Also, really “attractive” people can still gain weight, lose hair, whatever. I do get your point, though.
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2:19 pm on October 1st, 2008
To put it more sharply: without doing a Google image search to see for yourself, what do you think Martha Dumptruck looks like, 10 or 20 years after Heathers was made?
Probably the same…now going to look.
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3:32 pm on October 1st, 2008
Finally, someone who knows how to get his hands on some steroids.
I know you have been looking…need his contact info?
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4:49 pm on October 1st, 2008
My reunion was a BLAST. My crew of girls all went together…everyone looked amazing. We all danced and got bombed.
Then again my high school was like West Beverly so no one really looked worse–but a few of the girls DEF peaked at 17.
I was so happy to bust into that place being like what up BITCHES…look at me NOW.
(Ok I was popular in high school but not the “sexy/hot” girl–so it was fun to have grown into myself and say whasss up).
Yeah, my hs was NOT like West Beverly. I think I am thankful for that.
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4:50 pm on October 1st, 2008
Meanwhile a guy I was friendly with in high school found me on facebook, started chatting with me and he got HOT. Like insanely hot.
Even my sister mentioned seeing him in NYC and how hot he got.
Yummmmmmmm.
Yeah, always fun to see the late bloomers. You know they know they look good.
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5:37 pm on October 1st, 2008
Before my 10 year high school reunion, I really only was in touch with one person from HS, which was just fine. I think I needed about that much time between me and some of the folks there.
Now that I am on facebook, I can peek in on their lives a lot more frequently which is good and bad.
You HAVE to go to your reunion – to see and be seen!
Great post
Thanks, Peep.
Yeah, I talk to one person from HS…and have recently connected with one other, though she wasn’t my year. She found this here blog–thanks interweb!
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6:02 pm on October 1st, 2008
Nobody ever warns you about infatuation the way they warn you about sex. I wonder why that is?
Just recently had turkey chili as a salad topping. Fabulous!
On salad! That is so interesting.
I don’ know re: infatuation. It is more dangerous than sex, I think.
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7:37 pm on October 1st, 2008
My high school was a nerd factory, so we didn’t exactly have the hot crowd. At my 10 year reunion we were placing bets on who would roll up in the dot-com Ferrari first, but in the end, most people were still in school.
There are always “hotties” even amongst the nerds, yes?
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7:38 pm on October 1st, 2008
damn bastards…they always change their minds. but the chilli: it’s good all the time. i’m so hungry right now i’m tempted to eat my computer screen.
Don’t eat your screen; I hear it is quite hard to digest.
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11:38 pm on October 1st, 2008
My x-year college reunion is coming up in 2009. Normally I have no interest in such things, but because I am, ahem, considerably more physically fit that most men my age, it might be fun to attend just to gloat over how many of my classmates have turned into Pillsbury Doughboys. Especially the ones I didn’t like.
I say do it; a little internal gloating never hurt anyone.
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8:28 am on October 3rd, 2008
thank you for bringing back the cats pajamas!
It was all for you.
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