It is an exciting week around here, y’all.
A few weeks back, Eick over at So Good put out a call for contributors. He is doing some smart and funny stuff over there, so of course I wanted a piece of the action. I pitched an idea and waited to hear back.
And he picked me! God damn, I was the fat girl all over again and the quarterback just asked me to the prom.
Check out the announcement below:
Lemmonex, Washington, DC: I met this smart, funny, sexy and extremely readable blogger at a DC blogger potluck a few months ago. The writer of the blog Culinary Couture, she is going to branch out a little bit and do a weekly column for So Good. Each Wednesday, she will publish a post called “I Try It So You Don’t Have To.” The idea behind this is just what you’re thinking. She will sample ridiculous, disgusting, intriguing and random food products that you were always afraid to try yourself, and then give you the lowdown.
He is going to be exremely disappointed when he realizes I am not very smart…
The column starts next Wednesday, and I could not be more thrilled to join Eick and the other new contributors. I’ve promised to stay myself…but maybe lay off on the cursing a bit. But don’t fucking worry, things will remain the same here.
This is where you come in…I am looking for ideas. The point of the column is not to eat live snakes or rare exotic delicacies, but every day stuff that can be found in the grocery store. The kind of stuff where when you walk by it on the shelves, you think “who the hell eats that?” I have your answer…me. This whole column idea came to pass a few months back when I wrote about Jimmy Dean pancakes and sausage on a stick. Though the concept revolts me, deep down inside, I secretly believe they may be delicious. I now have the opportunity to try stuff just like this, give you the skinny, and blame the fact that I ate the whole damn box on market research.
Some early ideas from pals have been cookies and cream poptarts, Vienna sausages, and any kind of flavored pork rind. Let me know if you have any ideas and I will happily throw myself on the grenade for you. One exception: Nothing coconut based. There are some things I just won’t do…
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{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
I like this idea of a “market research guinea pig” My first suggestion would be Vegemite, the Aussie B-vitamin packed spread. Perfect for that early morning pick me up and breakfast food of an entire continent. I think you can get it at Wegmans.
Oooh, I can can do that. I will add it to the list.
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Dangit! That was my idea too!
Well, how about scrapple? It gives me the wigginses.
I don’t know if our friends from PA or DE think it is that weird, but I sure do…added for consideration.
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Kombucha – at most healt food stores and I believe at Wegmans – at least at wegmans in NY. Some kind of tea drink but some how fermented with a fungal colony? I’ve been told it is very healthy and tastes good but with that description I just don’t buy it.
PickleSickle Pickle Juice Frozen Treats – I saw these at six falgs – not sure where else you can buy them but they have a website http://www.picklesickle.com
There are others but these are the strangest / most recent.
PickleSickle…I have heard of this! Oh, I hope I can find those.
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Two words: Potted Meat.
(I’m going to warn you now: Vegemite is an acquired taste. It is properly eaten on White toast, with some butter if possible. And a cup of tea.)
Like deviled ham? MamaBear actually likes that a lot….
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My roommate and I went through an unusual soda phase – all those Goya sodas, everything you can find in little bodegas. He hated the tamarind soda – the ginger beer was super strong – and we both thought we’d die after tasting Malta Goya. So there’s that.
Other ideas – spaghetti squash, canned pork & beans, that bread in a can, flavored mashed potatoes from a box, chocolate or coffee-flavored yogurt, pig’s feet …
Pretty much anything that comes in a can or a box will do.
Good luck, miss!
I ALWAYS look at those Goya sodas. I think you have given me a perfect excuse to try them.
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Hey, Congrats! That’s awesome. I am having a hard time thinking of anything for you to try…but I will say this: if you find yourself in front of Scottish Haggis, try it! Aside from the hideous name, haggis is quite tasty. You might not find it in your average grocery, but a few restaurants in the area serve it.
Thanks! I have actually always wanted to try haggis. I have heard it is an acquired taste, but I am not picky.
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Dunno, I see it at the store. Comes in a can. Stuff could be kryptonite gel for all I know.
I propose you cook at least one exotic meat cut as well for this challenge. Beef Tongue, Tripe, Pigs Feet, heart, etc.. Brain is no longer available (Damn Mad Cow).
I bet tongue is ok…kinda muscly.
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this is a great idea! I live in Mount Pleasant, and all of the grocery stores sell pickled dated palm (its called pacaya encurtida). It looks sort of gross and tentacle-y and I’m so intrigued, but also kind of afraid to try it.
I bet you can find it at other places around the city, as it seems to be a pretty popular latin-american delight…
http://www.latinmerchant.com/productdetail.asp?ProductID=FV0042
Oh, and it gives me an excuse to get near the Target as well. I think I am up for the challenge.
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Take it from this half-Aussie – Vegemite is not an acquired taste. It’s more of a genetic predisposition.
Australia does offer many fine and slightly odd foods. Try a Violet Crumble bar. It’s honey and chocolate, and sold at World Market. I find them delicious, but they’re not for everyone.
And there’s always Vienna Sausages, cold and straight from the can.
Yeah, the Vienna sausages have been bandied about by a few people. I think I may have to do that soon. It scares me.
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While in Japan I never developed a taste for natto (fermented soybeans) but I give anyone props with the fortitude to eat that stuff on a regular basis. ewww. There’s also stinky tofu. ugh.
Is stinky tofu different than regular tofu?
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I’m full blooded Texan and I like Vegemite. I blanched the first few times, but once you get it, the stuff is money on toast for a hangover.
Um, I could use that this am. I had rolaids, advil and a liter of water for breakfast.
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Oh yay, I read So good too, so I will start looking for your “features” – I wish I had asked you to try the Beef Maple Breakfast Sausage I cooked up last weekend, before I made the mistake myself!
It didn’t taste good? It sounds like ti would taste awesome to me.
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Being from DE, I can tell you that even some of us think scrapple is gross. I had it. Once. It was gross before they told me what it was, and was just downhill from there.
I will, however, get in line for pork roll, with no hesitation. And I will happily sing the praises of Wawa. But that is neither here nor there.
I want to to try the bacon jelly beans, mostly because I’m afraid to. You can probably rope Jordanbaker into a faux-bacon tasting panel…
I love WaWa. The sizzli? Holy deliciousness!
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Jarred pigs feet. I think they’re near the clam juice and the other awful things in jars.
My roommate drinks the Goya sodas, most are pretty good. But be careful. I was in Costa Rica and tried a fanta that looked strawberry, but was clearly the indigenous “barfberry.”
Can you get jarred pig feet at Safeway? I will try it. I think my system is in for a shock.
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FYI… The key to Vegemite is just as BatesHorn described. A little goes a long way on some toast with butter. Word of caution, avoid mixing it with any kind of jam or spread. Not fun!
There goes my idea for a Vegemite and strawberry jelly sandwich…
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..and never, ever mix Vegemite with gin. Please don’t ask how I know that.
WHAT?! You know I have to ask…Oh, Shannon.
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My thought is, how do you know what to buy when food-shopping? See, at the Langley Park Safeway, all the signs are in Mexican, the language of Mexico. I am a professionally trained linguist, so I know that “cremas de cafe” means “seafood” and “comidas de bebe” means “health and beauty aids.” I get it. But there are jars and jars of weird confections whose labels even I, a trained professional linguist, cannot decipher. And I’m pretty sure the aisle that says “cosas de mujer” doesn’t even have food in it! It’s embarrassing. So the question is, should we reform our immigration laws so I won’t be embarrassed at the grocery? John McCain and I would appreciate a quick response. Gracias.
I think we should all start speaking Mexican and we could avoid this problem all together. See how easy that was?
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If you’re going to try vegemite, you should try its British cousin marmite as well. I’d be interested to know the difference between the two.
Yeah, I have no idea either. I see some sort of cage match in the future.
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Anything involving clamato.
True story: An ex-boyfriend called me “Clamato” as a term of endearment.
Yes, I know. We were weird.
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Deviled Ham isn’t bad actually….
I think Mama Bear eats it with mustard?
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Lem – as with many of my stories, it all started when I lost a bet.
Man, you are true to your word, sister. I never would have done that.
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From Wikipedia:
Vegemite is a dark brown savory food paste made from yeast extract, used mainly as a spread on sandwiches, toast and cracker biscuits, as well as a filling of pastries like Cheesymite scroll, in Australia and New Zealand. It is similar to British and New Zealand Marmite (in texture and appearance but not flavour) and to Swiss Cenovis.
Vegemite is made from leftover brewers’ yeast extract, a by-product of beer manufacturing, and various vegetable and spice additives. The taste may be described as salty, slightly bitter, and malty – somewhat similar to the taste of beef bouillon. The texture is smooth and sticky, much like peanut butter.
Dear god. This is why we should never visit foreign countries.
Wiki to the rescue! Thanks, Michael.
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Check out Acai in the frozen foods section of Whole Foods. My husband uses it to make smoothies. It’s a fruit that comes from Brazil and is supposed to be incredibly good for you.
I sing the praises of concentrated tomato paste (that comes in a tube). I find myself squirting it into everything!
There are lots and lots of weird fruits and vegetables, like starfruit, for example.
I can’t wait to see what you come up with!
I have always eyed starfruit and I bet it is delicious. Thanks for the suggestions.
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Ugh, Nato! I consider myself a very good eater but I had one of my most traumatizing food experiences ever in Nato. Apparently the traditional Japanese way of eating it is to mix it with raw egg and something else (soy sauce, perhaps)? It is by far the grossest smelling thing you will ever put in your mouth, and it has these long sticky tendrils of goo that stick to your chin. I tried eating some once in an attempt to impress my S.O who could tell it was making me miserable and mocked me endlessly by proclaiming “Nato wave! Nato wave!” Makes me want to cry just thinking about.
As for your column, the vegan staple of nutrional yeast flakes (or nyf as the vegans kids call it) came to mine. And seitan (ie wheat gluten).
NYF! Oh dear, that frightens me, but that is why I am doing the column. I really do not know too much vegan stuff.
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oh good for you!! ..i like soo good too…i just realized..i read a LOT of food blogs…for somebody who is afraid of the kitchen…and i agree with barb…i always see those exotic fruits/veggies at the store…and wish they would put ANY kind of recipe with them…
have fun…
xoxo
Thanks; I am really exited for the new column and to be part of So Good. I am sure my tongue will soon hate me, though.
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Congrats, again, hun! As I told you already, I already read So Good, and not originally because of you, but because A (gf) reads him, too. Now I’ll have to pay attention to his rss feed even more closely.
As for suggestions – oh, the mind reels at the possibilities. Potted meat and natto (gross-looking, but hugely popular, fermented soybeans) have already been done by “Steve, Don’t Eat It!” pretty conclusively, which is good for you, I think, because both are especially nasty. Vegemite is a good idea, I think, as are the pickle sickles and anything from the Goya aisle (I actually buy a fair amount of stuff, including their frozen plantains, sofrito & recaito, and more, from the aisle, but I’ve always thought that a lot of their stuff looks like a science experiment, floating in formaldehyde). I would suggest even more along the lines of this concept’s founding idea (the breakfast abomination) – the KFC failure bowl comes to mind, as do a lot of the things sold at Sonic, etc. Gross it up.
Good luck! -B
P.S. I have to say that when I read, “… you think ‘who the hell eats that?’ I have your answer…me,” I did not at first comprehend the true meaning, and my mind went all sorts of dirty places. I do get it now, though.
Well, you are a reader here. Of course your mind went to dirty places. I think I am going to have to hit up the Goya aisle–seems rich with possibilities.
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P.S. re: anything with clams: I’d heard of this stuff before but never thought I’d see it in the wild. Imagine my surprise when I saw a TON of it in a Chicano bodega in Austin last week. It was apparently flying off the shelves. Ugh.
I KNOW! I have seen this everywhere. I think Eick has tried it, though. I will check it out. I bet it is ok…
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I was going to say pork rinds for sure, and I have to agree with Scrapple. I have it on good authority from a Pennsylvanian I hold dear that Scrapple’s actually really effing good.
Bologna and ketchup sandwiches. Don’t knock it til you try it.
I have a friend who is a vegetarian and he said the only thing he misses is scrapple…
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Ohh you must throw a weird drink or two in here! What about the combo of bud light and clamato that comes in a tall boy can. I’ve seen them at the store but have always been too eeked out my the combination of clam, tomato and beer. Good luck. I hope your stomach holds up!
There has been a calling for the beer/clamato combo…it may have to be one of the first. My stomach shudders…
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Staying on the far side of the world I’ve got two words for you Lem: kim chee.
I have had kim-chee. it is…fine. Really potent, but decent in moderation.
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I have always been offended by those politically incorrect snacks “Rap Chips”. They have a terrible, offensive picture of some kid in crazy dreads, but I always kind of wondered what they tasted like . . .
Who doesn’t like their snacks with a side of racial intolerance? I will have to hit the Giant…
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How about Mountain Dew? Or is that out of bounds as too horrible to contemplate?
EEK. Mt Dew really does disgust me…as well as all those new weird flavors, like Wild Boisenberry of whatever.
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As a Peruvian, I am always trying to talk up the delight that is anticuchos. It’s marinated beef heart, but I think if you tried it and explained to the So Good crowd how it’s delish, maybe I would have some proof. El Chalan on 19th and I has it, along with good ceviche and pisco sours if you wanted to combine (though I don’t think non-latinos are as scared of pisco and/or ceviche).
Marinated beef heart? Interesting. I bet it is decent. And I love ceviche…nothing to be scared of.
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You could do a soy/fake foods tasting one day. Soy cheese, soy nog, tofu noodles, pre-flavored tofu steaks/cubes, quorn, etc.
By the by, coffee flavored yogurt sssssucks! *shudders*
Coffee yogurt really frightens me…which may mean I need to try it.
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Stinky tofu is fermented tofu, which is popular in Asia. At its most offensive it smells like rotting garbage but in its least repugnant form it has the fine bouquet of a smelly foot.
Smelly feet are almost worse than rotting garbage if they are in bed with me…well, I don’t want eitehr in bed…nevermind.
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yay! lem! congrats honey!
okay, so…hands down…durian (you know, the stinky, spiky fruit?). You can get it at the Asian market. I love the stuff, maybe cause I’m Asian and I grew up with it and it tastes soooo good to me–like nature’s other butter (besides avocado, of course).
But I know a lot of adventurous eaters and they just can’t do it–as many times as they try–they can’t get over the smell. I mean, even Andrew Zimmernan on the travel channel can’t do it–and he eats crazy ass shit!
If you’ve never tried it, I’d say, ease into it by eating eat frozen, cause god forbid, the smell IS an acquired one…I’ve never heard any other food on earth described so horribly!
Congrats again! And btw, we’ll definitely meet up when I’m in the area! I’ll let you know!
xo K
I was thinking as I began to read this “Zimmerman couldn’t even eat that!” I do not even know where I would find it.
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Hey
Are these items tax deductable now??? and if so I’ll take some of that coffee from the monkey poop (see ‘bucket list’ the movie) and about 5 pounds of Saffron
Thanks
D
I need to start getting paid for this…no doubt. And I don’t think I will be seeing the BL anytime soon.
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I would like to volunteer to help you eat the box of sausage pancake sticks, because I’m fascinated by them.
If you are serious, I will email you.
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SD, what in the hell are your talking about??!!
Mountain Dew tastes like the urine of an angel! It’s delicious!!!! (officially, I support Mello Yello, as it is a Coca-Cola product)
I will keep my eyes open, Lemomomononnex, and offer suggestions.
Mello Yello! They still make that? News to me.
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Now, how plebe are we talking here? Like flavored olive oils (as though they were soda), or like scrapple dogs (if such things exist)?
I think it’d be even more interesting if, once you develop an intuition for what garbage combinations work, you created your own — like scrapple dogs! Hey, there may be an underserved audience out there…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuHIRrt5lCI
I think there are legions of people clamoring for scrapple dogs.
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I’ve always wanted to find out how that peanut butter and jelly combined into one jar tastes.
When I was a kid, we would BEG our mom to buy it. She never would and said it was disgusting. The woman eats deviled ham but that was disgusting.
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That PB&J in one jar stuff is disgusting. Mostly because it is low-quality pb mixed with crappy grape jelly. My white trash cousins used to eat it. My white trash childhood self hated it.
Yeah, the low quality pb is something scary.
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Goober Grape! Man, that stuff is NASTY.
I think it means I need to try it.
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Just came across this … thought it might be of help.
http://blog.hotelclub.com/10-more-must-try-exotic-fruits/
Thanks, Amelia. I think it is interesting guava is on there…it doesn’t seem that exotic to me.
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I have in fact tried Chelada already. Imagine what Budweiser mixed with Clamato juice would taste like…
That’s exactly what it tastes like. There is nothing earth shattering. It’s just nasty.
And that one is scratched off the list…thanks, Eick.
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