I know you are born that way.
No, really. I believe it. I think gender is a societal construct. I know from the second the egg splits a persons sexual orientation is determined. The continuum of sexuality exists. Blah blah blah.
But Saturday night my whole belief system was shaken to the core with one simple cookie recipe. Who knew a peanut butter cookie could illicit such a response. These treats caused three gay men to utter:
“If you had a penis, I would marry you.”
Now, I have been with enough men to know that a half the time the penis is barely existent, so…where does this leave me? I choose to believe this means I am, in fact, a better choice than 50% of gay men. In a just and right world, delicious cookies trump small dick.
So, these are the cookies that could turn a gay man straight…or at least give a woman a sideways glance before coming to his senses. They really are that good. I’ve had my eye on this recipe for some time, marked as a recipe “to try” in my files. I was finally spurred in to action by the rave reviews of a fellow blogger. I used double chunk peanut butter in this recipe, which pushed these to a 10 on the sin scale. The cookies were soft, a bit chewy and had a perfect balance of salt and sweetness. The chocolate chips were just the right touch. I made a bunch and brought them to two separate events this weekend. Nothing makes you more popular than showing up at a bar at midnight, cookies in tow. Drunk people love cookies
Apparently, drunk gay men love them the most.
Sinful Peanut Butter Cookies
from Smitten Kitchen
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup double chunk peanut butter at room temperature
3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon (for sprinkling) sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup peanut butter chips
1/2 cup chocolate chips (Note: Toll House sells bags of chips that are half peanut butter/half chocolate chip. I just used a cup of that)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl, combine the flour, the baking soda, the baking powder, and the salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and the peanut butter together until fluffy. Add the sugars and beat until smooth. Add the egg and mix well. Add the milk and the vanilla extract. Add the flour mixture and beat thoroughly. Stir in the peanut butter chips. Place sprinkling sugar on a plate. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls into the sugar, then onto ungreased cookie sheets, leaving several inches between for expansion. Using a fork, lightly indent with a crissscross pattern (I used the back of a palette knife to keep it smooth on top), but do not overly flatten cookies. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Do not overbake. Cookies may appear to be underdone, but they are not.
Cool the cookies on the sheets for 1 minute, then remove to a rack to cool completely.
10:52 am on June 2nd, 2008
‘delicious cookies trump small dick’, girl, no truer words have been said. i myself have been having a bad run of things in that department lately (it always shocks me when height or body type do not correlate) cookies look yum!!
I am a truth speaker! And most stereotypes do not hold true.
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11:56 am on June 2nd, 2008
Oh, YUM. As soon as I drop my vacation poundage, I’m going to make these.
These are, by far, the best cookies I have made this year.
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12:50 pm on June 2nd, 2008
Oh man, these look as good as they sound – good photo Lemmonex! Yum yum yum. If I ever baked, I would make these – in fact, they may spur me to bake, just so I can eat them.
Also, sometimes stereotypes DO prove true, says the tall guy with the size 16s, ahem …
As a birthday gift to you (Happy Birthday baby!) I will proclaim this: B has a huge….heart.
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1:08 pm on June 2nd, 2008
After reading the open, “beat until smooth” takes on a whole new meaning.
This may be your best comment of the month.
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4:22 pm on June 2nd, 2008
You know I am more of a salty food vs. sweet food girl on the whole, but one of the sweet foods I adore is the peanut butter cookie.
DELICIOUS and this one looks just amazing.
I am trying this this weekend…
The peanut butter chips definitely make a huge difference here. I know you will like these…lemme know how they turn out, hun.
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4:43 pm on June 2nd, 2008
I am with Kassy on this, I greatly prefer savory over sweet – gimmie cheese at the end of a meal. However, one of the very few sweets that make weak kneed are peanut butter cookies. those look great.
I love cheese at the end of a meal as well but these will make you change your ways.
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1:13 am on June 3rd, 2008
[...] Couture writes: So, these are the cookies that could turn a gay man straight…or at least give a woman a sideways glance before coming to [...]
8:39 am on June 3rd, 2008
I proclaim that I will make these cookies just so I can see for myself the reaction they provoke! Good One!
The reaction is a resounding one…promise. Have I ever lied to you before?
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10:22 am on June 3rd, 2008
May cocaine be added to the recipe?
Of course! I hear it may interfere with the baking soda, but I haven’t had a chance to test it out yet and see if that’s true.
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11:31 am on June 3rd, 2008
Baking cookies with three drunk gay men on a Saturday night. Is this the female equivalent of dungeons and dragons? If so, I’m in.
I did not bake with the gay men. I can take a ribbing, but please read for comprehension before poking fun.
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5:07 pm on June 4th, 2008
Those look scrumptious! I will report back if they do-in-fact turn some of fabulous men in my life!
I think a few of the straight men liked them too…phew.
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2:25 pm on June 11th, 2008
My girlfriend made some over this past weekend, and they are very good. Not as peanut-buttery as you might expect (if, say, you had tasted the batter, perhaps), but it’s definitely present. And the crunch of the sugar works well.
To borrow from jordanbaker, they get a definite NOM.
Thanks for chiming in, WiB. I kinda like that it is not super duper over powering peanut butter. It’s just perfect.
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11:52 pm on June 12th, 2008
a direct quote from my dad: “these are the best peanut butter cookies i’ve ever tasted.”
(just don’t tell him the chocolate chips are expired)
Your secret is safe with us. This is great to hear.
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4:14 pm on June 15th, 2008
Wait, you bring these cookies to the bar when you go? At which bar do you do this? Seriously. I dont drink, but Id defenitely go to one if youre going to be bringing these delicious looking cookies! And dont tell me to make them msyelf; my ovens broken.
L
I do bring them. I like bribing people for their affection.
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9:56 pm on September 5th, 2008
OH my god. These are baking right now. But the cookie dough- orgasmic. Seriously. Couldn’t find the peanut butter chips so used a little extra PB.
Are making these to woo a beau. If my reaction is any indication, I predict success.
You have to tell me if it works. I think they will–they are that good.
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9:53 pm on September 7th, 2008
I think they worked. Unfortunately there was a play to attend after the cookies were served.. so I’ll never know if it was the recipe or just my feminine wiles.
But, hey, I enjoyed them quite a bit.
Cookies only work so much. I am sure it was all you and your wiles.
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