I was struggling with the self check-out, trying to juggle my phone, my groceries and my mammoth sized purse. I caught Waspy Wasperson and Irish Lebowski out of the corner of my eye, waved at Irish and proclaimed, “Hey guys! I’m wasted!”
Ya know, just a normal Sunday night. Not so normal was what happened next:
I shot Waspy a sly sideways glance and whispered loudly, “I have a lobster in my purse.” I then proceeded to triumphantly pull it out of my bag, much to the amusement of Waspy and Irish and the befuddlement of my fellow shoppers.
That’s me: subtle, classy, and reserved. Time to lay off the sauce, Lem.
The lobster was left over from Lobster Fest and I was at the store picking up some essential ingredients to create a lobster roll. Erm, or maybe lobster wrap as luck would have it. After I made such a big deal over lobster rolls a few weeks back, I am a little nervous to admit I tweaked tradition. It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, though, and change my mind I did.
The lobster salad for this wrap follows tradition: chunks of fresh lobster, mayo (I used light; it is bikini season!), celery, salt and pepper. I used a whole wheat wrap which held up really well alongside the salad. Keeping up with my bikini friendly adaptation on this New England classic, I made oven frites. Boiling the potato sticks for about 5 minutes and then throwing them into oven produces a fry with a remarkably crisp exterior and tender inside. It was fantastic and fresh. Full disclosure forces me to admit I made the lobster salad that Sunday night, but was not able to eat it until the next evening. It is generally best eaten fresh, but even the next day it hit the spot.
Lobster Salad
Lemmonex Original (New England Original?)
1 cooked lobster, torn into chunks
1 1/2 tablespoons mayo (I used light)
1 stalk celery, diced
salt and pepper to taste
Mix all ingredients together, chill for half an hour and serve. I used a whole wheat wrap, but to keep it real, serve it on a grilleed hot dog roll.
Oven Frites
Adapted from Easy Entertaining
5 russet potatoes
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Kosher Salt
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.
Peel potatoes and cut into half-inch thick slices (lengthwise) cut again into 1/2-inch thick fries. Place the potatoes into a pot with cold water and 1 tablespoon of salt. Bring up to a gentle boil and simmer until a paring knife tip goes through easily. Cooked about 3/4 of the way through.
Drain carefully and put in a bowl. Add olive oil, 1 tablespoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon black pepper. Toss well and lay out in 1 layer on nonstick baking sheet. Bake until light brown.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
You know you have stepped over the edge when you can reach into your bag a pull out a lobster. I sometimes wonder why I carry clarified butter in my pocket. It is for moments such as that!
What’s weird is there was a family of carnies in there too…
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Seeing you drunk in the Giant on a Sunday night with a lobster in your purse was one of the funniest things I have ever experienced.
That’s saying something…glad I could be of service.
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Damn you, why couldn’t it have been crabs… I had a joke all set up and ready to go for that one.
I am sure this will not be the last time I let you down, VK.
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I don’t think there could have been anything more hilarious in your purse. Awesome! I like your oven fry shortcut… boiling the potato slices first – great idea!
Yeah, this definitely bests the time I pulled duct tape and a fork out.
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I really like how well that little guy matches the purse. Way to accessorize.
(But why, exactly, did he come to the store with you? Did he just like to travel?)
I always have to match. Always.
I stepped off the metro and decided to stop at the Giant. I think he liked being taken for a walk…
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Was the lobster still alive? Because that would make the story even better.
Dead as a doornail. That would have made the story…crueler?
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My friend Tac has no reservations about eating shellfish that is leftover, no matter how many days it has been laying around.
This looks delicious, so if there is still any leftover, feel free to drop it in the mail and I’m sure he’ll finish it off for you.
Thanks! Your friend must have a really strong constitution. Shellfish more than a few days old scares me.
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Love the bag, the mug, and that food looks tasty! I’ll definitely be trying that.
That mug was a gift from a friend. She knows me well.
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Too bad the lobster wasn’t wearing ear phones from your I-pod, then it would have been a …are you ready for it…..Rock Lobster! Ok, so it’s really corny, but it’s definitely a mom joke!
Hmm, I don’t have Rock Lobster on the ipod either, just Rome by the B-52s. That would have been so meta.
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the bag compliments the lobster’s color…!
I think so too!
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Dammit, Lemmonex’s mom, now I have “Rock Lobster” in my head.
Seriously, though, that is the hardest song to stop thinking about. Maybe because it’s so fabulously ridiculous.
I’m glad you got the celery in there this time, but a wrap? Tsk tsk…who are you, and what have you done with Lemmonex? Haha…
I think I drank too much this weekend and killed the wrong brain cells…
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Your lobster looks angry. TG for the rubberbands.
He is angry…I’ve entered his remains in to a 12 step program.
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