Dear Barton:
I have a confession; I’ve a bit of a crush on you. I think you are crazy delicious. I know, I know. You aren’t really my type; you are blond and, at 29, a bit young for my tastes. You actually seem like a pretty swell guy, what with your dedication to responsibly sourced seafood and locally grown produce, and I generally do not tend to gravitate towards nice guys. Compassion and caring isn’t really my style. Yet, the sly grin in most of your photos tells me there may be a bit of bad boy lurking underneath. Maybe there is hope for us.
Today, I finally made it to Tackle Box, your new casual dining destination in Georgetown. Barton, this shows how deep my devotion runs…I went to Georgetown for you. You and your food are worth it.
Your fries are dark brown, salty and delicious; they are made even better by a healthy dousing of malt vinegar. The fried oysters are creamy, crispy, and fresh. I found the blueberry pie supremely enjoyable; not too sweet and the wonderfully flavorful crust left me wanting more. Your staff was stellar as well. Everyone was friendly, warm, and accommodating. They even checked on us half way through our meal; at such a casual joint, this little touch did not go unnoticed. Even the decor was cheeky and charming.
But Barton? Baby? Please don’t get mad because you know how perfect I think you are, but I have one teeny, tiny complaint. The lobster roll could have used a bit more salt and some celery. A little bit of crunch really helps highlight the rich creaminess of the delicate lobster salad; it is a wonderful contrast in most other rolls that I missed in yours. But kudos to you! You used the perfect amount of mayo in the roll. The toasted bun was also divine. But maybe can you reconsider the celery/salt situation? I promise this will be the only thing I ask of you. OK, maybe I will ask for the occasional back rub, but my skin is incredibly soft. I bet you’ll like it, too.
I promise I will be back to see you. This small difference of opinion regarding a silly little lobster roll is not enough to keep me away. After all, no relationship is perfect and you sure do bring a lot to the table. Maybe next time you will come out and talk to me? I promise I won’t bite…unless you ask.
Yours in devotion,
Lemmonex
xoxoxox
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Dude, and here I thought I was the only one with a Barton Seaver crush. We’ll have to armwrestle for him or something.
I know JordanBaker has one as well…it will be a Battle Royale.
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Actually, I’ve met him a few times through a charity I was involved in. He’s also involved with a feed-the-homeless charity so he is, in fact, a nice guy. Here’s some info on him that may or may not affect your crush on him.
1)unlike a lot of chefs…is straight
2) lives in dupont(so you don’t have to go to georgetown for some wild monkey lovin’)
3) last time I talked with him, was living with his girlfriend (are you into the sharing thing?)
Most chefs are straight, I find. It is kinda a macho profession. And no, I don’t like sharing. Thanks for killing the dream.
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Never fails….I have never, never, never known a good chef that did not pull in crazy amounts of women. Even the unattractive nutty chefs score. Kudos to them!! Cooking for an appreciative woman is one of the great joys.
But he is attractive, so don’t be too jealous. I love a man who cooks, in that it happens so rarely for me.
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I love him. I love him so much I thought about eating a shrimp roll at Tackle Box just to show my love. But then I thought that enduring anaphylactic shock for a man would put me straight into the stalker category.
What you call “stalker”, I call “dedicated”.
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I vote that Lemmonex, JordanBaker and I have a dance-off for the right to prove our love for Barton Seaver.
I am a wicked good dancer…prepare yourself.
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Oooh, he IS a hunk! Too bad I will likely never venture to G’town just for the lobster roll, although it sounds yummy!
Charlotte! Do it just once. Really. it is quite tasty. I cannot say enough about the oysters as well.
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You’re right. Barton is nice and his girlfriend is very nice too. I don’t want to destroy your fantasy but they do make a fantastic duo.
Aside from all that and sticking with the food theme – He’s actually got the lobster roll right. More celery? Nope because then you’re cheating me out of lobster. More salt? Nope on that too because it takes away from the the sweetness of the meat.
It’s all a matter of opinion of course but I think he was smart to go to Maine and ask the nice folks there for their opinion on what makes a great lobster roll. I guess celery didn’t make the cut.
I have no grand delusions of breaking up a stranger with his girlfriend. I am sure they are fantastic and I wish them nothing but love and happiness.
I am from New England. I have eaten a few lobster rolls in my day. They have contained celery. It is my opinion that a little bit of celery would have gone a long way. You are right, though. The people in Maine are indeed very nice.
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It is on. I’ll start reviewing “Step Up Two: The Streets” to teach myself some new moves.
I have “Honey” in heavy rotation. Jessica Alba taught me all I need to know about dance.
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whoa there cantfocus! you seem to be focusing a tad too seriously on this. girlfriend ain’t barging into the kitchen demanding to see the man, is she? and anyone, especially a gal from new england, is entitled to her own opinion on a lobsta roll. as you are kind sir.
At any rate, after enjoying a meal at hook, i’m happy to hear of this wallet friendly alternative. And after a mishap with a lobster in cape cod last year which included almost losing a pinky, I do enjoy my lobster in the roll form.
OK, glad it isn’t just me that thought cantfocus was overreacting a tad. Barton’s girlfriend doesn’t need to worry about some crazy girl on the internet. Thanks for reassuring me, Diggity.
Cracking lobsters is a dangerous proposition. Glad you have all digits intact.
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JordanBaker, I’ll be studying the dance sequence from the end of Blazing Saddles.
“Put out your hands, stick out your tush…”
I’ve never seen Blazing Saddles. I know, I know.
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I guess girls don’t have the same desire to corrupt the fake innocent person like guys do, like, most girls want their bad boys not watered down / in mock disguise. Makes sense, but something I hadn’t thought about before.
Well, boys don’t have to fake it the way girls do. Girls are taught to act coquettish, innocent. It is in social conditioning, really. It is ok for a guy to look rough around the edges and naughty. I love naughty.
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I had the lobster roll last week – I agree with you a touch more salt, and a bit more crunch would have sent this sandwhich over the moon.
I have also know Barton for a few years and can state that he really is one of the good guys – and a blast to raise a pint with as well.
Oh, good. I am glad it is not just me regarding salt and celery. I am not suggesting curry or anything crazy here.
And how the hell can I meet him? Though for the first time in my life I would be rendered speechless.
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You are borrowing Blazing Saddles from me immediately.
It’s rather shameful I haven’t seen it. I shall borrow.
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Okay, now I officially wish I was in D.C. so I could go to this restaurant. No fair…
Best lobster roll I’ve ever had was on Nantucket at this shit-hole deli/restaurant I worked at one summer called The Rotary. (Shitty name for a shitty place.) Nothing was priced higher than $6 except the lobster roll, which rang up at $25. Talk about crunchy, crispy, meaty, salty deliciousness. Ahh, it was worth every single penny. Basically, the only thing on Nantucket worth every penny, but amazing all the same.
$25! See, it is only $19 at the Tackle Box, so another reason to love it.
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BACK OFF BEEEEEE-OTCH. Barton has been my restaurant boyfriend forever. FOREVER. When he finally shakes off the shackles of ‘lovin the ladies’, I’ll be there. Plus, he wears girl’s jeans. It’s only a matter of time.
I will jell-o wrestle you for him. And girls jeans? For serious?
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You are a very smart person!
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haha
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Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to?
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